h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

(not overly serious)

If you have a big brother, what do they do for you?
If you are a big brother what do (did) you do?

I take my younger Brother out, and I seem to have to buy all the beer... even though he's the one with the job
OH, and gave him lots of sensible advice about university, which he ignored.... I'm just hoping at some point he'll start buying the drinks

I'm the youngest of 3 boys. My eldest bro is 9 years older and so didn't feature much in my early life - by the time I was old enough to appreciate him, he was off at work and then girls (yuk to a 9 year old) and then married and away. So the middle one (4 yrs older) was my idol - he was fashion conscious (all his life actually) and trendy and popular and good at sport - made you sick, but also had a soft side that only came out in the family and partic with me whom he looked after and educated in all the non school things - scrumping, bird nesting, climbing trees, all the important things in life

In adult life we all lived separate lives meeting only at parents from time to time. Middle bro dies at 52 and I was more devastated then I ever thought was possible - I was absolutely shattered for weeks.

But before then, I had grown gradually closer to older bro and now, in pensionalble age, am very close even though we live 300 miles apart. We have wonderful hols together, just him and me just being in each other's company without really doing anything.

Now, he's 72 and I'm 63 and I know that if he dies before me I will be equally shattered - his large family is a big part of our lives and since his wife3 died 11 years ago, MOH has been a surrogate mum to his two daughters.

I meant also to say - in answer to the question, "What are big brothers for?"

To love

My big brother taught me things.

When I was very young, and we had to share a bath, he taught me how hard the plughole can suck when you take the plug out. He demonstrated by holding my ankle, and letting the plughole "suck" on my foot... he convinced me that if he let go, I'd be sucked in. I was petrified.

He taught me how hard vacuum cleaners can suck, showing me bits of paper that he could suck up... I was 9 before I conquered my fear of vacuuam cleaners.

He taught me how he could make an image of the sun on the palm of my hand using a magnifying glass...

He taught me what electricity tastes like, using two wires attached to his model train transformer...

That is my experience of what a big brother is for...

As a big brother I have no idea what my little brothers think of me. I'm fairly sure it goes along the lines of "If I murder him do I get his computer and bedroom?"

I do remember teaching my younger brother what electricity tastes like - with a 9v D cell. (Prickly is the answer for the less curious)

My middle brother - not the eldest, the next one down - conned me into sippling a glass of what he called cider.........yes, you guessed it - I was about 6 when I found that piss tastes awful!

But, he also taught me the quickest way out of the park when the parky was chasing you, how to blow birds eggs for your collection (it was all legal then), and the fact that if you caught a carp in the lake in the park, it would still be alive if you ran the mile home with it in your hand and threw it into the garden pond! Very strong fish, carp!

I've no idea. I can tell you what little brothers are for though - To get you into trouble, to lose badly and to win even more badly. To lie more outrageously, to cheat more outrageously (and get away with it) and scream more loudly than you.

To annoy you when you're feeling like being on your own, to run away when you want some brotherly encouragment, and best of all, to decide for you if your boyfriends are good enough for you or not. If they aren't, little brothers are for winding them up, being rude to them and badmouthing them at every opportunity. Even ten years later when you're friends with your ex but nothing more!

All my love - The Big Sister.