h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Most women's magazines have a "tips and hints" section, how to get felt tip off wallpaper, how to peel an onion without crying, how to remove a child's finger from the toilet overflow...

There is a certain "comic" for adults which has it's own verson, where people send in their own hints which are somewhat less useful. For legal reasons, this being the BBC, I should point out that these are meant as jokes, NOT to be taken seriously. I thought it might be fun if people post some of their Top Tips here - and again, before we get sued, Don't Try These At Home!!

To get the ball rolling:

Parmesan Cheese is quite expensive, so to save money, empty the dead skin from a Pedicure Egg into an old tub to use instead of Parmesan. It looks and smells the same, nobody will know the difference!

There's something similar I've heard to do with getting 'scrumpy' for a cheap party by doing a quick tour around an old people's home emptying bags...