h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It could be argued that the world is becoming a more and more dangerous place to inhabit. On a global level things are going to pot faster than Rik Waller's custard. Locally, the proliferation and glorifying of chav culture is causing mass consternation (amid the inevitable amusement).

So, has there ever been a better time to ponder the possibility of world peace? It may sound self-indulgent, but 10% of the world's population own 90% of the world's wealth. It's this 10% that I would like to sit up and take notice. Here's my solution:

Give everyone in the world a small, but very bouncy trampoline. That's it. It's that simple. Don't think it'll work? Imagine yourself bouncing around like a loon on a small, round trampoline. No, go on. Actually IMAGINE it.

There ya go. Isn't that fun? Bet you had a wee giggle. I did. And I wasn't even on one. Imagine if everyone had one of those bad-boys. We'd all be so cheery all the time. Nobody would have the inclination to fight, or even argue. We'd all be a darned sight healthier. We'd be far more giving, because that little trampoline would have enriched out lives to the extent that we want to do something similar for others. Thus the revolution begins.

Vote for me at last week's election.

I'm guessing you don't want to hear about the injury rates for home trampolines?

*Inserts fingers into ears*

"La-la-la! I'm not listening! Drum solo! Badum-dum-badum-tarry-bum-bum-tish!"

Went to a party last week that had a home-trampoline - massive fun.

You've got my vote.

Being one of the 90%, I just use my chequebook.

What if everyone in China bounced on said trampolines at the same time.

Is that the one that causes the butterfly to flap its wings in Europe?

No that was when the butterflys flaps winged.

not entirely unrelated but i rearly get trampolines brought up in conversation so it give me a chance to tell the story of a freind of mine.
while house sitting for his boss a friend invited us all round to play x box on his large palsma screen. one of my more energetic freinds notices thet in the graden there is a trampoline in the garden that had been dug into a pit so the springy part (not sure of the correct term) was flush with the ground.

so my friend goes of like a excitble dog and launches himself at full bounce onto the trampoline.

what he neglected to notice was that after the previous nights rainfull the pit had filled up with about three foot of water. so in showing us how to do a perfect seat drop his entire bottom half is submerged in horrible cold water as it came through the pourus surface and he screamed like ned flanders.

he had to spend the rest of the day in a pair of the guy who owned the house's bermuda shorts while his dried off.

Interesting. Is a sunken trampoline safer? (no drop.)

I'm not sure about safer. but definatly simpler to get on and off of while retaining a leval of self dignaty. especially drunk girls in skirts at summer BBQ's.

The one I was at last weekened came with a mini step ladder.

But I'm from the fling on/jump off school.

im more the fling on flip off in what will hopefully be akin to a russian gymnast/bruce lee hybrid move, but normaly ends in grass stains, grazed knees and concussion.

I guess the idea is akin to spreading a little happiness - everybody smile please!

Hard to see what good a trampoline will do for those in Darfur.

Er...no... little girl next door was given one fo rher birthday a couple of weeks ago and now has every kid in the street bouncing up and down from dawn till well after dark. Contribution to worldpeace nil, contribution to ill feeling amongst close neighbours several thousand points. Me joining in...not a hope.
Regards,SGG.

Re trampolines and Darfur.

Just possibly, bouncing up and down might make you a more difficult target for Janjaweed militia men with AK 47s? Not really a long term solution though.

sprout