A Conversation for FREAK - Friendly Rebellious Enigmas Against Konformity

100: The Spoof

Post 1

Apollyon - Grammar Fascist

For this thread, answer questions from the 100 thread in the guise of a fictional character...

PERSONAL INFORMATION [the bit that we all should know anyway...btu probably have forgotten]

1. Full Name:
2. Preferred Name:
3. Gender [if any]:
4. Sexuality:
5. Siblings:
6. DOB:

LET'S PROBE FURTHER...[the more juicy personal stuff]

7. Tattoos:
8. Piercings:
9. What do you think people find most strange about you?
10. What is the thing you fear the most?
11. How many fingers am I holding up?
12. Describe your ideal partner [NB, no I am not running a dating service]:
13. If you were to have a one-night stand with a cartoon character, who would it be?
14. Preferred method of self-harm:
15. If, after a long and rather hazy night, you woke up in bed with Homer Simpson, what would your first reaction be?
16. You're on a desert island. How did you get there in the first palce?
17. Describe briefly your dress sense:
18. Which LoTR character are you most like?
19. Is size important? [NB, interpret as you will...]
20. If you could have a superpower, what would it be?
21. Your first kiss.....:
22. You can do one last ting before you die... what is it?
23. Has anything amusing ever happened to you in connection with a spoon? [NB, this really does mean a spoon, as in a metal thing you use to eat soup, you sick little people]
24. If you could change one thing about the person who sent this to you, what would it be?
25. Describe your belief [or lack of, as the case may be] in the supernatural and/or God:
26. What is your most treasured item of clothing?
27. Describe briefly your political stance:
28. You see a penny on the floor. What do you do?
29. The first random word that enters your head at this precise moment:
30. What can you see through the window in the room you are sitting in?
31. How would you rather die?
32. What is most worrying you at the moment?
33. What are you wearing right now?
34. How did you sleep last night?
35. What is the last thing you remember dreaming?
35. Who is your idea of the most physically attractive person?
36. What is your favourite chat up line?
37. The first expletive that comes to your mind at this moment:

BANISH THAT THING...[in this round, chose the object you'd most like to destroy slowly and painfully]

38. Busted/ Westlife:
39. Guns/ Roses:
40. Pink/ Purple:
41. Puppies/ Kittens:
42. People/Telephones:
43. Heavy metal/ Soft Jazz:
44. Science Fiction/ Romance:
45. Clint Eastwood/ Brad Pitt:

MOST HATED.... [does exactly as it says on the tin]

46. Film:
47. Flavour of ice-cream:
48. Person:
49. Animal:
50. Band or singer:
51. Artist:
52. Politician:
53. Place:
54. Season:
55. Joke:

MISCELLANEOUS.... [stuff that didn't really fit anywhere else]

56. When do you think the world will end?
57. Which school of philosophy do you belong to?
58. What is the worst thing anybody could possibly do to you?
59. What is the best thing that has ever happened to you?
60. If I gave you a time machine/ Tardis what would you do?
61. What are your pet hates?
62. Who are your favourite authors?
63. What was the last CD you voluntarily listened to?
64. Which song describes best how you feel at the moment?
65. Have you ever written a poem/ story in your spare time?
66. Is there anything you are particularly anal about?
67. What is your greatest achievement?
68. What do you most want to have in the future?
69. Say something about the state of your love life:
70. Estimate your IQ:
71. The first thing that comes to mind when I say "apple":
72. What is important to you in a relationship?
73. What makes you enjoy working?
74. Is there an area in life you feel you've failed at?
75. Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?
76. If I gave you a old, chewed-up dog toy as a birthday present, what would you do?
77. What are you thinking about right now?
78. What word would you add to the dictionary?
79. What is your native language?
80. How many of these 100 questions emails do you normally receive in a month?
81. Are clowns scary?
82. What is the most pathetic innuendo you've ever heard?
83. What can't you live without?
84. What is the most disturbing thing ever said to you?
85. Of all your friends, who has had the most impact on you?

FAMOUS LAST WORDS.... [self explanatory]

86. How do you normally say goodbye to friends?
87. If you had just been in a tragic accident, and were now on your deathbed, what would you want your last words to be?
88. What is the last thing you said to someone?
89. What is the last thing you wrote by hand?
90. What is the last website you visited?
91. What is the last thing you ate?
92. What is the last emotion you felt?
93. When was the last argument you had?
94. What do you always find in the last place you look?
95. What is the last thing you want to do today?

IN CONCLUSION.... [some final things]

96. If you had written this quiz, what question would you have added?
97. How much was this quiz a waste of your time?
98. How much do you hate me for writing this quiz?
99. Do you want your friends to write back?
100. Rate this quiz out of 100:


100: The Spoof

Post 2

Apollyon - Grammar Fascist

And now for the answerssmiley - winkeye

PERSONAL INFORMATION [the bit that we all should know anyway...btu probably have forgotten]

1. Full Name: Rand al'Thor of the Bitter Water sept of the Taardad Aiel. The voice in ym head is called Lews Therin Telamon.
2. Preferred Name: Dragon. It's easier that way.
3. Gender [if any]: Male
4. Sexuality: Very, very hetero
5. Siblings: None
6. DOB: Sometime in 978 NE

LET'S PROBE FURTHER...[the more juicy personal stuff]

7. Tattoos: A heron on each palm, and a dragon twined around each arm
8. Piercings: My side is pierced, and the wound will never heal.
9. What do you think people find most strange about you? I'm the reincarnation of a man who Broke the entire world, as well as I have these dragons, the savages follow me, and I seem to be able to do whatever I wish. Some think I eat people.
10. What is the thing you fear the most? Killing those I love. Oh Ilyena, why did you have to die???smiley - wahSHUT UP, LEWS!! YO'RE DEAD! No I'm not! You are!!!
11. How many fingers am I holding up? Three
12. Describe your ideal partner [NB, no I am not running a dating service]: Well, she can see the future, wield magic, Queen of a great nation, wise, impetuous, tough, lethal, wears dresses, doesn't wear dresses, and I absolutely can't refuse her. Two of them are sisters.
13. If you were to have a one-night stand with a cartoon character, who would it be? What is a cartoon character?
14. Preferred method of self-harm: Other people are harming me quite enough without me adding to the problem, than you very much.
15. If, after a long and rather hazy night, you woke up in bed with Homer Simpson, what would your first reaction be? Ah man, Elayne's gonna kill me!
16. You're on a desert island. How did you get there in the first palce? wnet through a hole in the air.
17. Describe briefly your dress sense: I used to wear good, stout wool, but have lately been wearing a lot of silk
18. Which LoTR character are you most like? Frodo. Really.
19. Is size important? [NB, interpret as you will...] Not for anything that matters.
20. If you could have a superpower, what would it be? I already have superpowers, and a bunch of woemn want to take them away from me because they thik I'll go mad. OK, I will, and the voice in my head is already crazy, but really, I'm doing everything I can to fix it.
21. Your first kiss.....: There was this girls back in my home village, but then later on, after we'd been through several long bloody battles aainst evil monsters, she told me she just didn't feel 'that way' about me, and passed me onto her best friend (who by the ay turned out to be a demon in the sack!)
22. You can do one last ting before you die... what is it? Save the world. KILL THEM ALL!!!!!
23. Has anything amusing ever happened to you in connection with a spoon? [NB, this really does mean a spoon, as in a metal thing you use to eat soup, you sick little people] No, why?
24. If you could change one thing about the person who sent this to you, what would it be? Give them magic powers and bring htem over to my side.
25. Describe your belief [or lack of, as the case may be] in the supernatural and/or God: I am God's champion, sent to vanquish the forces of the dark One.
26. What is your most treasured item of clothing? This sword belt with a dragon on it that my girlfriend gave me.
27. Describe briefly your political stance: Obey me or die.
28. You see a penny on the floor. What do you do? Give it to a poor peasant.
29. The first random word that enters your head at this precise moment: Death.
30. What can you see through the window in the room you are sitting in? Lightning. I thik I did it.
31. How would you rather die? Balefire, to put an end to this nightmare.
32. What is most worrying you at the moment? The fact that at any moment, I might go nust and kill everyone I love.
33. What are you wearing right now? Silk shirt and breeches
34. How did you sleep last night? Horribly. I don't suppose you know how to prevent nightmares?
35. What is the last thing you remember dreaming? Watching my girfriends being tortured by me.
35. Who is your idea of the most physically attractive person? OK well one of them is this fiery redhead, and another is a dark-skinned redhead who's veyr fiery, and then there's this other one who's pretty fiery...and also a redhead. So yeah, fiery redheads.
36. What is your favourite chat up line? "Please, go away. I can't possibly be with you, or I might kill you." Drives the chicks wild.
37. The first expletive that comes to your mind at this moment: lood and bloody ashes!

BANISH THAT THING...[in this round, chose the object you'd most like to destroy slowly and painfully]

38. Busted/ Westlife: Kill...kill them all...I must KILL THEM ALL.
39. Guns/ Roses: Can't gte rid of roses. Elayne likes roses. Destroy guns. Don't know what they are anyway.
40. Pink/ Purple: Purple is the colour of trust, which is the colour of death. So I destroy purple.
41. Puppies/ Kittens: Puppies. Less darkhounds that way.
42. People/Telephones: I destroy people every day, don't really notice it any more.
43. Heavy metal/ Soft Jazz: Soft Jazz. I need heavy metal to kill people.
44. Science Fiction/ Romance: Romance!!! That way I won't kill the people i love.
45. Clint Eastwood/ Brad Pitt: Kill. Kill. KILL THEM ALL!!! I should have killed thme both when I had the chance.

MOST HATED.... [does exactly as it says on the tin]

46. Film: The one over my eyes.
47. Flavour of ice-cream: Blood
48. Person: Ishamael
49. Animal: Ravens
50. Band or singer: Ishamael was a pretty good singer.
51. Artist: Asmodean
52. Politician: Rahvin
53. Place: shayol Ghul
54. Season: Autumn
55. Joke: That Aiel one about the woman who stabs her husband.

MISCELLANEOUS.... [stuff that didn't really fit anywhere else]

56. When do you think the world will end? In a few years, when I destroy it.
57. Which school of philosophy do you belong to? The Academy of Cairhien does philospphy
58. What is the worst thing anybody could possibly do to you? Love me, because then I'd have to kill them.
59. What is the best thing that has ever happened to you? This time that Mat stole some honeycakes and didn't get caught.
60. If I gave you a time machine/ Tardis what would you do? Go back in time, and stop myself from ever being found by the witches.
61. What are your pet hates? Forsaken, Shadowspawn, Padan Fain, Whitecloaks, rebels, opponents in general
62. Who are your favourite authors? People who write prophecy. Min like Herid Fel, a philosopher
63. What was the last CD you voluntarily listened to? What's a cD?
64. Which song describes best how you feel at the moment? "A sense of trust" by some general
65. Have you ever written a poem/ story in your spare time? I plan to
66. Is there anything you are particularly anal about? I HAVE CLEANSED SAIDIN! REALLY!!
67. What is your greatest achievement? See Q66
68. What do you most want to have in the future? Death. I deserve death.
69. Say something about the state of your love life: I have three girlfriends, all of whome are OK with the arrangement.
70. Estimate your IQ: 10
71. The first thing that comes to mind when I say "apple": Death
72. What is important to you in a relationship? No relationships. I kill those that I love.
73. What makes you enjoy working? Avoidance of death.
74. Is there an area in life you feel you've failed at? I've failed to keep people from loving me, and I've had women killed.
75. Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me? It must be a gun.
76. If I gave you a old, chewed-up dog toy as a birthday present, what would you do? Balefire it once you'd left
77. What are you thinking about right now? Death
78. What word would you add to the dictionary? Balefire
79. What is your native language? Randlandinsh, tohugh the voice in my head speaks the Old Tongue
80. How many of these 100 questions emails do you normally receive in a month? Zero
81. Are clowns scary? I've seen far scarier things than clowns
82. What is the most pathetic innuendo you've ever heard? You oughta see my friend Mat at a dance...
83. What can't you live without? Magic
84. What is the most disturbing thing ever said to you? You must come with me
85. Of all your friends, who has had the most impact on you? Rhuarc

FAMOUS LAST WORDS.... [self explanatory]

86. How do you normally say goodbye to friends? May you always find water and shade
87. If you had just been in a tragic accident, and were now on your deathbed, what would you want your last words to be? Death...at last...
88. What is the last thing you said to someone? "How are the negotiations coming?"
89. What is the last thing you wrote by hand? An order for Logain to stop this bondage thing.
90. What is the last website you visited? Google
91. What is the last thing you ate? Food?
92. What is the last emotion you felt? Weariness
93. When was the last argument you had? With Logain, about his fascination with bondage
94. What do you always find in the last place you look? Love
95. What is the last thing you want to do today? Die

IN CONCLUSION.... [some final things]

96. If you had written this quiz, what question would you have added? How would you like to die?
97. How much was this quiz a waste of your time? Not much, it kept me from killing anyone for a few minutes
98. How much do you hate me for writing this quiz? Not enough to kill you, but I probably will anyway.
99. Do you want your friends to write back? Yes
100. Rate this quiz out of 100: R


100: The Spoof

Post 3

TeaKay

PERSONAL INFORMATION [the bit that we all should know anyway...btu probably have forgotten]

1. Full Name: Captain Jack Harkness
2. Preferred Name: Captain Jack
3. Gender [if any]: Male
4. Sexuality: Hey, if you've got two legs and a heartbeat, I'm all yours, baby.
5. Siblings: None that I know of.
6. DOB: I've lost count...

LET'S PROBE FURTHER...[the more juicy personal stuff]

7. Tattoos: None.
8. Piercings: None visible with my clothes on. How about you help me look for some more?
9. What do you think people find most strange about you? My intense good looks, charm and easy going manner. It's just not normal to be /this/ great.
10. What is the thing you fear the most? Missing out on the action.
11. How many fingers am I holding up? I'm not sure, sweetheart- let me have a closer look.
12. Describe your ideal partner [NB, no I am not running a dating service]: Hey, any hole's a goal.
13. If you were to have a one-night stand with a cartoon character, who would it be? Just /a/ cartoon character? Where's the fun with one-on-one?
14. Preferred method of self-harm: All-night marathon romp.
15. If, after a long and rather hazy night, you woke up in bed with Homer Simpson, what would your first reaction be? Have a look, see who was the /other/ side of me.
16. You're on a desert island. How did you get there in the first palce? Most likely blasted my way out of whatever ship was holding me captive- for the short term, of course- having changed a couple of the guards over to my way of thinking, if you know what I mean.
17. Describe briefly your dress sense: Functional and effective whilst still showing off my incredible physique.
18. Which LoTR character are you most like? Gotta be Aragorn, only with a better hair cut.
19. Is size important? [NB, interpret as you will...] It can be, but only if you're lacking in ideas as to what to do with it. You're better off with both on your side. When does your shift finish?
20. If you could have a superpower, what would it be? I've got all the superpowers I need, sweetheart.
21. Your first kiss.....: You expect me to remember that far back?
22. You can do one last ting before you die... what is it? I treat /everything/ I do as if it's the last thing I'll ever do.
23. Has anything amusing ever happened to you in connection with a spoon? [NB, this really does mean a spoon, as in a metal thing you use to eat soup, you sick little people]. It's a long story. Come back to my place and I'll tell you about it.
24. If you could change one thing about the person who sent this to you, what would it be? Hell, they wouldn't have to email it to me. S relationship should be multisensory, and you can't smell an email.
25. Describe your belief [or lack of, as the case may be] in the supernatural and/or God: I don't think about such things. I live for myself, and those I love.
26. What is your most treasured item of clothing? None- I'd lose any of it in a second, so long as you ask nicely.
27. Describe briefly your political stance: Anyone who gets in my way gets a kicking.
28. You see a penny on the floor. What do you do? Keep running.
29. The first random word that enters your head at this precise moment: Dalek
30. What can you see through the window in the room you are sitting in?
A nebula.
31. How would you rather die? Kicking, screaming and pumping the trigger.
32. What is most worrying you at the moment? Where my next adventure's coming from.
33. What are you wearing right now? Why don't you come over and find out?
34. How did you sleep last night? Sleep?
35. What is the last thing you remember dreaming? I could tell you, but I'd rather show you.
35. Who is your idea of the most physically attractive person? Gotta be that Existential Elevator person...
36. What is your favourite chat up line? "Hi smiley - winkeye"
37. The first expletive that comes to your mind at this moment: Celebacy.

BANISH THAT THING...[in this round, chose the object you'd most like to destroy slowly and painfully]

38. Busted/ Westlife: Busted. Just lurve that Irish accent.
39. Guns/ Roses: Roses
40. Pink/ Purple: Pink
41. Puppies/ Kittens: Kittens
42. People/Telephones: Telephones. Gimme face to face any day.
43. Heavy metal/ Soft Jazz: Soft Jazz
44. Science Fiction/ Romance: Romance. No time for that, lets get straight to dessert.
45. Clint Eastwood/ Brad Pitt: Clint.

MOST HATED.... [does exactly as it says on the tin]

46. Film: No time
47. Flavour of ice-cream: Who cares?
48. Person: Anything with a plunger and an eye-stalk.
49. Animal: Ditto
50. Band or singer: Roy Orbison
51. Artist: No time for paintings anyway.
52. Politician: All of 'em.
53. Place: Skaro
54. Season: Winter- everyone's wrapped up in too many clothes.
55. Joke: Hell, I don't know.

MISCELLANEOUS.... [stuff that didn't really fit anywhere else]

56. When do you think the world will end? When I sit down for a rest.
57. Which school of philosophy do you belong to? Shoot first, ask the little bits questions if you get time.
58. What is the worst thing anybody could possibly do to you? Lock me up.
59. What is the best thing that has ever happened to you? I could tell you, but it'd be censored on this site.
60. If I gave you a time machine/ Tardis what would you do? What I do anyway- advemture.
61. What are your pet hates? Sitting still.
62. Who are your favourite authors? I don't get time for much reading.
63. What was the last CD you voluntarily listened to? I'm not sure. Got some random classics on the ship's stereo.
64. Which song describes best how you feel at the moment? That Hero one that was on the Crunchie ads a few years ago...
65. Have you ever written a poem/ story in your spare time? It'd spoil my image to answer that...
66. Is there anything you are particularly anal about? smiley - winkeye
67. What is your greatest achievement? Single-handedly disarming four male guards whilst getting a female guard's phone number.
68. What do you most want to have in the future? Fun.
69. Say something about the state of your love life: Hectic.
70. Estimate your IQ: Who knows?
71. The first thing that comes to mind when I say "apple": Bad.
72. What is important to you in a relationship? Five minutes and a storage cupboard.
73. What makes you enjoy working? Plenty of ammo.
74. Is there an area in life you feel you've failed at? Gardening.
75. Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me? Hey, babe, why can't it be both?
76. If I gave you a old, chewed-up dog toy as a birthday present, what would you do? Throw it at a bad guy.
77. What are you thinking about right now? Lets talk about it over dinner.
78. What word would you add to the dictionary? Pass
79. What is your native language? English
80. How many of these 100 questions emails do you normally receive in a month? When you spend so much of your life moving so erratically through time, you find it hard to judge such things.
81. Are clowns scary? Strangely, yes.
82. What is the most pathetic innuendo you've ever heard? I'm not sure- I was probably too busy saying it to take much notice.
83. What can't you live without? Girls, guys and guns.
84. What is the most disturbing thing ever said to you? "Exterminate"
85. Of all your friends, who has had the most impact on you? The Doctor.

FAMOUS LAST WORDS.... [self explanatory]

86. How do you normally say goodbye to friends? "It's been fun"
87. If you had just been in a tragic accident, and were now on your deathbed, what would you want your last words to be? "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGHHHHH!!!!"
88. What is the last thing you said to someone? "You are worth fighting for"
89. What is the last thing you wrote by hand? I can't remember.
90. What is the last website you visited? Hah!
91. What is the last thing you ate? Something cardboardy out of a ration pack.
92. What is the last emotion you felt? Fear.
93. When was the last argument you had? It was about death. I settled it by choosing 'him' over 'me'.
94. What do you always find in the last place you look? Safety.
95. What is the last thing you want to do today? Finish off the BAd-guys.

IN CONCLUSION.... [some final things]

96. If you had written this quiz, what question would you have added? A section for your personal contact details.
97. How much was this quiz a waste of your time? Again, when you run through time like I do, it's hard to quantify.
98. How much do you hate me for writing this quiz? Depends how willing you are to make it up to me.
99. Do you want your friends to write back? Of course.
100. Rate this quiz out of 100: 101, sweetheart.

TK[1]smiley - pirate


100: The Spoof

Post 4

Existential Elevator

PERSONAL INFORMATION [the bit that we all should know anyway...btu probably have forgotten]

1. Full Name: Death
2. Preferred Name: DEATH
3. Gender [if any]: none
4. Sexuality: none
5. Siblings: none
6. DOB: I was never born, and I will never die... damned puny mortals.

LET'S PROBE FURTHER...[the more juicy personal stuff]

7. Tattoos: I lack skin
8. Piercings: Again, I lack skin to have pieced as is the custom of you strage humanoids
9. What do you think people find most strange about you? Being 7ft tall and skeletal.
10. What is the thing you fear the most? Nothing, for I am DEATH!
11. How many fingers am I holding up? If you annoy me any further, I shall remove them with my scythe
12. Describe your ideal partner [NB, no I am not running a dating service]: Erm...dead?
13. If you were to have a one-night stand with a cartoon character, who would it be? Myself, possibly. Why would I want to stand for a night?
14. Preferred method of self-harm: It is impossible, I experience neither pleasure nor pain
15. If, after a long and rather hazy night, you woke up in bed with Homer Simpson, what would your first reaction be? To wonder why he isn't dead yet
16. You're on a desert island. How did you get there in the first palce? A puny humanoid is in the cluthes of death.
17. Describe briefly your dress sense: Black robes.
18. Which LoTR character are you most like? DEATH!
19. Is size important? [NB, interpret as you will...] Size is relative
20. If you could have a superpower, what would it be? I /have/ superpowers
21. Your first kiss.....:... killed a man
22. You can do one last ting before you die... what is it? Kill everyone else. It's in the job description
23. Has anything amusing ever happened to you in connection with a spoon? [NB, this really does mean a spoon, as in a metal thing you use to eat soup, you sick little people] This one time, I was about to end the life of an embassador and... no, I can't tell that one
24. If you could change one thing about the person who sent this to you, what would it be? The would be dead!...all in good time
25. Describe your belief [or lack of, as the case may be] in the supernatural and/or God: Even God must answer to me
26. What is your most treasured item of clothing? My black robe
27. Describe briefly your political stance: I am not an advocate of politics, only of the natural order
28. You see a penny on the floor. What do you do? Walk by: it has no value
29. The first random word that enters your head at this precise moment: A wilted black rose
30. What can you see through the window in the room you are sitting in? The earth, spinning unknowingly in the vast blackness of eternal space
31. How would you rather die? I cannot
32. What is most worrying you at the moment? I do not worry, I do not feel emotion
33. What are you wearing right now? A black robe
34. How did you sleep last night? I didn't
35. What is the last thing you remember dreaming? I do not dream, I do not sleep, I do not eat
35. Who is your idea of the most physically attractive person? It is not possible
36. What is your favourite chat up line? I do not understand this concept
37. The first expletive that comes to your mind at this moment: It is unpronouncable in the human tongue

BANISH THAT THING...[in this round, chose the object you'd most like to destroy slowly and painfully]

38. Busted/ Westlife: Both
39. Guns/ Roses: Roses
40. Pink/ Purple: Pink. Purple makes such good velvet drapes
41. Puppies/ Kittens: Puppies.
42. People/Telephones: People, it /is/ my job
43. Heavy metal/ Soft Jazz: Heavy metal
44. Science Fiction/ Romance: Romance
45. Clint Eastwood/ Brad Pitt: Again, both, eventually

MOST HATED.... [does exactly as it says on the tin]

46. Film: The one where everyone lives, involving happy bunnies
47. Flavour of ice-cream: Pistacio
48. Person: Fate. She always brings people out of my clutches
49. Animal: Dogs. They sense me
50. Band or singer: I do not listen
51. Artist: ~shrugs~ It is beyond my concern
52. Politician: Again, I do not deal in politics
53. Place: The dawn of time. There is so little to do there
54. Season: Spring
55. Joke: The one about me

MISCELLANEOUS.... [stuff that didn't really fit anywhere else]

56. When do you think the world will end? I /know/ when the world will end. I could tell you, but you wouldn't like it much.
57. Which school of philosophy do you belong to? I /am/ a school of philosophy
58. What is the worst thing anybody could possibly do to you? Give me flesh and blood
59. What is the best thing that has ever happened to you? I do not have emotions
60. If I gave you a time machine/ Tardis what would you do? I do not need one, I have that capability
61. What are your pet hates? Stupid questions
62. Who are your favourite authors? I'm rather fond of Terry Pratchett, although his portrayal of me is inaccurate. I'd /never/ eat curry.
63. What was the last CD you voluntarily listened to? I didn't
64. Which song describes best how you feel at the moment? I do not know
65. Have you ever written a poem/ story in your spare time?...in my younger years, maybe.
66. Is there anything you are particularly anal about? Time of death. Has to be right
67. What is your greatest achievement? The plague
68. What do you most want to have in the future? A day off
69. Say something about the state of your love life: Non-existant
70. Estimate your IQ: 7,000,000,000
71. The first thing that comes to mind when I say "apple": death
72. What is important to you in a relationship? death
73. What makes you enjoy working? DEATH!!!
74. Is there an area in life you feel you've failed at? Living
75. Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me? Most likely a gun
76. If I gave you a old, chewed-up dog toy as a birthday present, what would you do? I do not have a birthday
77. What are you thinking about right now? Birthdays...
78. What word would you add to the dictionary? re-dead
79. What is your native language? Xpjuukman
80. How many of these 100 questions emails do you normally receive in a month? None
81. Are clowns scary? Yes, even to me......
82. What is the most pathetic innuendo you've ever heard? I have heard none. Who would dare?
83. What can't you live without? My scythe
84. What is the most disturbing thing ever said to you? "Ha, you don't scare me"!. HE soon changed his mind
85. Of all your friends, who has had the most impact on you? Time.

FAMOUS LAST WORDS.... [self explanatory]

86. How do you normally say goodbye to friends? Au revoir
87. If you had just been in a tragic accident, and were now on your deathbed, what would you want your last words to be? IT isn't possible
88. What is the last thing you said to someone? "Second door to the left, go into the light"
89. What is the last thing you wrote by hand? "9:47am"
90. What is the last website you visited? www.deathclock.com
91. What is the last thing you ate? I can't
92. What is the last emotion you felt? I can't
93. When was the last argument you had? I won't
94. What do you always find in the last place you look? Humans
95. What is the last thing you want to do today? Muck out the stables

IN CONCLUSION.... [some final things]

96. If you had written this quiz, what question would you have added? Something death-related
97. How much was this quiz a waste of your time? I am beyond time
98. How much do you hate me for writing this quiz? I cannot hate
99. Do you want your friends to write back? I have no friends
100. Rate this quiz out of 100: -10


100: The Spoof

Post 5

darakat - Now with pockets!

1. Full Name: Etravagating unobvious one.
2. Preferred Name: darakat (pronounced dar ra kat)
3. Gender [if any]: Male
4. Sexuality: Bisexual, but completely devoted to one when I find him/her/it
5. Siblings: 2, one older atheist, one younger fluffy type but lovable kitten
6. DOB: 23/8/1983

LET'S PROBE FURTHER...[the more juicy personal stuff]

7. Tattoos: None... Yet
8. Piercings: None. Never getting any.
9. What do you think people find most strange about you? I'm tall, were sandals pretty much 24/7 (with socks in winter), and buy cloves only from rivers
10. What is the thing you fear the most? Nothingness, I am Ergophobic
11. How many fingers am I holding up? Mmm fingers... I mean... ...
12. Describe your ideal partner [NB, no I am not running a dating service]: Tall as me or just a bit smaller, good bum or if you prefer "wide child baring hips", outgoing but not to outgoing, loves pets, long walks, winter, weird cooking and bass singing and can deal with my really weird life.
13. If you were to have a one-night stand with a cartoon character, who would it be? I would go with Wilma, but I would be thinking of Betty.
14. Preferred method of self-harm: All-night marathon romp.
15. If, after a long and rather hazy night, you woke up in bed with Homer Simpson, what would your first reaction be? I have to get more alcohol in me and soon.
16. You're on a desert island. How did you get there in the first palce? Damm Lemmings, I knew it was them all the time.
17. Describe briefly your dress sense: Think primary, secondary and ternary colors in a mix that some how, but not quite mixes.
18. Which LoTR character are you most like? Tree-beard
19. Is size important? [NB, interpret as you will...] Nope.
20. If you could have a superpower, what would it be? I have to many already, stop giving me powers damm it!
21. Your first kiss.....: Primary school, Kindergarten.
22. You can do one last ting before you die... what is it? Get my dad to admit that he is wrong about the existence of any god/ess.
23. Has anything amusing ever happened to you in connection with a spoon? [NB, this really does mean a spoon, as in a metal thing you use to eat soup, you sick little people]. Of course, lots of things happens with spoons. Wooden, or not.
24. If you could change one thing about the person who sent this to you, what would it be? They don't need any more change in there lives.
25. Describe your belief [or lack of, as the case may be] in the supernatural and/or God: I believe in a goddess and god, both of whom have a light and dark side, both who make up the five elements, both whom help me live today, tomorrow and yesterday.
26. What is your most treasured item of clothing? My glasses. But I can do without any of cloves.
27. Describe briefly your political stance: I am on the side of those who wish to protect the nature, protect our past, protect our future and make sure that humanity can actually live for another million years,
28. You see a penny on the floor. What do you do? Think, "Look, its a diminutive form of capital not acceptable in my country" and keep walking... Slowly getting faster.
29. The first random word that enters your head at this precise moment: Thick porridge
30. What can you see through the window in the room you are sitting in? Trees, the ground, a night sky, a reflection of myself
31. How would you rather die? In the knowledge that no matter what I will always have my towel.
32. What is most worrying you at the moment? What color shirts to buy tomorrow
33. What are you wearing right now? Why don't you come over and find out? Tracksuit
34. How did you sleep last night? relatively well
35. What is the last thing you remember dreaming? I was meditating on fire and saw quite a number of things which included lots of candles.
35. Who is your idea of the most physically attractive person? Well lets just say that most of the cast of Queer eye for the straight guy are NOT my ideal of the best looking guy and that the SPICE girls are NOT my idea of the best looking girl.
36. What is your favourite chat up line? "I'm Evan. Who are you?"
37. The first expletive that comes to your mind at this moment: Explosions

BANISH THAT THING...[in this round, chose the object you'd most like to destroy slowly and painfully]

38. Busted/ Westlife: West-life
39. Guns/ Roses: Guns
40. Pink/ Purple: Purple
41. Puppies/ Kittens: Kitten
42. People/Telephones: Telephones.
43. Heavy metal/ Soft Jazz: Soft Jazz (as heavy mettle should die quickly and painlessly)
44. Science Fiction/ Romance: Romance.
45. Clint Eastwood/ Brad Pitt: Brad, Clif is sexier.

MOST HATED.... [does exactly as it says on the tin]

46. Film: Beauty and the Beast
47. Flavour of ice-cream: Peach
48. Person: Condaliza Rice
49. Animal: Cane Toads
50. Band or singer: Ozzy Oz-borne, he needs to be put out of his misery
51. Artist: The guy who tried to copy Blue Poles
52. Politician: Dr. Brendon Nelson
53. Place: Small town just outside of Corral Bay
54. Season: Live in them all, and learn to love them all
55. Joke: Anything my little brother tries to pull of as humor

MISCELLANEOUS.... [stuff that didn't really fit anywhere else]

56. When do you think the world will end? On a Thursday.
57. Which school of philosophy do you belong to? Ghandi + Aristotle + Kant + Mix of the rest + My own - that bit = one
58. What is the worst thing anybody could possibly do to you? Drop me into the Abyss
59. What is the best thing that has ever happened to you? Can't tell you, dam oaths.
60. If I gave you a time machine/ Tardis what would you do? "Do not disturb the space time continuum"
61. What are your pet hates? trinkets, postmodernism, people who try and tell me that "I am on the wrong side"
62. Who are your favourite authors? Terry Prattchet, Tom Holt, Douglas Adams, Ben Bova, Kim Stanley Robinson, A.J. Drew
63. What was the last CD you voluntarily listened to? Dead can dance - Aion
64. Which song describes best how you feel at the moment? Wilderness
65. Have you ever written a poem/ story in your spare time? Of course, I post them on my LJ!
66. Is there anything you are particularly anal about? Thats really not a good question.
67. What is your greatest achievement? Not killing myself
68. What do you most want to have in the future? Fun, love, good will, music, life, stories, the list goes on...
69. Say something about the state of your love life: non existent
70. Estimate your IQ: 126
71. The first thing that comes to mind when I say "apple": Mmmm Apple, its just a fruit, I had to take it to keep on living, if you blame me for that then **** ****.
72. What is important to you in a relationship? Talking
73. What makes you enjoy working? Talking with everyone
74. Is there an area in life you feel you've failed at? Dying
75. Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me? Pleased to see you.
76. If I gave you a old, chewed-up dog toy as a birthday present, what would you do? I have a puppy.
77. What are you thinking about right now? Why I managed to get to question 77.
78. What word would you add to the dictionary? Cumlativefustone
79. What is your native language? Gibberish, everyones "native" language :D
80. How many of these 100 questions emails do you normally receive in a month? none
81. Are clowns scary? No.
82. What is the most pathetic innuendo you've ever heard? "I am just a normal guy"
83. What can't you live without? My walking stick *wink* *wink*
84. What is the most disturbing thing ever said to you? "I hate you"
85. Of all your friends, who has had the most impact on you? Oooh thats a hard one...

FAMOUS LAST WORDS.... [self explanatory]

86. How do you normally say goodbye to friends? "Eat the journey"
87. If you had just been in a tragic accident, and were now on your deathbed, what would you want your last words to be? "Bubbletrumps"
88. What is the last thing you said to someone? "So long and thanks for all the fish"
89. What is the last thing you wrote by hand? Epson Salts
90. What is the last website you visited? This one
91. What is the last thing you ate? Chicken pie, I made it
92. What is the last emotion you felt? Ambiguity
93. When was the last argument you had? It was about podcasts
94. What do you always find in the last place you look? Myself
95. What is the last thing you want to do today? Cast out the outsiders

IN CONCLUSION.... [some final things]

96. If you had written this quiz, what question would you have added? A section for pets
97. How much was this quiz a waste of your time? No
98. How much do you hate me for writing this quiz? I need a shower now
99. Do you want your friends to write back? Yup
100. Rate this quiz out of 100: Logarithmically 99.9999999999999999


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