h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Hi-Tech Cyberspace Hillbilly Flounders and Fairs Poorly on Capital Hill - A1130103
Author: Researcher 234038 - U234038

Hi-Tech Cyberspace Hillbilly Flounders and Fairs Poorly On Capital Hill

Hillbilly Bites Off
More than He Can Chew
In Washington D.C.

Hillbilly Trips Over
Legislative Ropes In Washington D.C.
And Allegorically Hangs Self

by Mark Gaffney

A backwoods local yokel hillbilly is creating quit a stir in legislative assemblies on capital hill by prowling around in places he doesn’t belong in cyberspace. The backwoods fellow is like Jethro Bodine from the classic television show, The Beverly Hillbillies, except he lacks both brawn and brain.

The backwoods local yokel, who is the brain behind a proposed new foundation, entitled Wonderful Life Foundation, is caught up and implicated in a big capital hill scandal. An article published in the July 30th, 2003 edition of The Courier-Journal, written by New York Times Reporter, Carl Hulse, entitled, “No market for terrorism: Pentagon terminates trading on violent world events”, has upset the lame-brain plans of the scruffy disheveled hillbilly to capture the Nobel Peace Prize.

The Jethro Bodine like fellow, who is too dumb to know-better, applied to be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize based partly upon support of the Policy Analysis Market. The idea of market trading in Middle East oil commodities based upon accurately predicting terrorist events has been scraped, according to the aforementioned article written by New York Times Reporter, Carl Hulse, and published in The Courier-Journal.

The idea behind the Policy Analysis Market is to provide capital investment rewards for peaceful outcomes in Middle East and European affairs. A return of investment by a PAM trader can only be achieved by successfully predicting events connected with terrorism.

Capital investment in the Policy Analysis Market is like gambling upon Middle East stability. Global security hinges upon Middle East stability.

Provision of capital investment rewards for peaceful outcomes in Middle East and European Affairs is establishing a system based upon conditional love and acceptance. A system of conditional love and acceptance demands conformity.

It is human nature to practice conditional love and acceptance. A wide variety of religious traditions share central themes. Sacred text found in Holy Books of ancient scripture from a wide variety of religious traditions emphatically state, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”, “Love your enemy; for what good is love given only to people who love you in return”, and “love your neighbor as yourself”.

Humans, who are called to become spiritual creatures, but exist as organic biological substrate units, exist as anomalies within the physical universe. Humans, who are called too become spiritual creatures, but exist as mere organic biological substrate units are called to practice unconditional love and acceptance of one’s neighbor.

Diversity in regard to race, creed, ethnic origin, and gender prevalent in free market capitalistic Democratic societies is helpful in learning how to turn away from the natural human inclination to practice conditional love and acceptance, and learn to depend upon the Creator of Our Universe for superhuman strength necessary to practice unconditional love

Money cannot buy compliance and subservience. A proper response must proceed from the heart of each and every individual.

A proper response includes (1) desire to honor Creator of Our Universe by doing what is right, and (2) love and respect for one’s neighbor within the global international community. A perfectly ordered system cannot be formulated to account for every variable, nor mechanically churn out a specific desired output with precision control as a desired result.

Rational behind Policy Analysis Market Trading contains a certain degree of practical logic. Given likelihood of global change in the pattern of energy consumption, due to new emerging technology, it seems logical for a non-governmental organization to provide a central intelligence service of collecting data and orchestration of market forces pertaining to changing patterns of energy consumption.

The best proposals and plans include both pro’s and con’s. PAM trading may have allowed market forces to capitialize from an inverse of peaceful outcomes, thereby providing financial incentives for certain participants to engage in terrorism. Financial incentives may have provided positive reinforcement for terrorist behavior thus Policy Analysis Market trading may have contributed to escalation of terrorism.

I outline a conspiracy theory within my soon to be released on-demand print book, published by LuLu.com, entitled, If God Ordain the Sun to Rise Tomorrow; My Final Reward: The Last Great Entrepreneur Adventure; The Penance of Karl Marx. The following excerpt from my book is a commentary about the Hollywood Blockbuster Smash hit movie, A Beautiful Mind, produced by Ron Howard and starring acclaimed actor Russell Crowe:

During early years of the 20th century, necessity to quickly transmit covert messages prompted a secret covert encoded display of government secrets in the mass media. The top-secret hyper-linking government project John Forbes Nash Jr. worked on may have been an effort to bypass transmission of covert secret messages via mass media. Today, modern society is trying to embrace an Open Source Methodology, in a prudent intelligent fashion, so as to preserve institutional integrity.

It may be delusional to believe that a major headline printed on the front page of The Courier Journal, contains an encrypted covert secret message. It may be delusional to believe that the printed Courier-Journal headline, No market for terrorism: Pentagon terminates trading on violent world events, is an example of a covert secret message openly transmitted via mass media.


The Courier-Journal headline for the article written by New York Times Columnist, Carl Hulse, departs form standard journalistic practice by using a greater preponderance of small letters within the headline title. A greater preponderance of small letters within The Courier Journal headline sends a secretly encoded covert message, ‘you, my friend, are a very small person, indeed’. Perhaps, ability to decipher covert secretly encoded messages transmitted within newspaper headlines suggests that the hillbilly alter ego is not so dumb after all.

Nevertheless, scandal on Capital Hill rages on over PAM trading. According to the aforementioned article, written by New York Times Columnist, Carl Hulse, and published in The Courier-Journal, a congressional hearing has been convened to tongue lash, probe, and drill retired Rear Admiral John Poindexter, over the matter. Telepathic transmission of wavelengths of thought through a lattice of weak interactive massive particles (WIMP’s) contained within “empty space” of the physical universe heard Poindexter think, ‘it is all the fault of that fellow on the internet from the backwoods hills of Kentucky.’

The new on-demand print book, If God Ordain the Sun to Rise Tomorrow, outlines a mental strategy to achieve tranquility by reduction of neuron electrical activity associated with the output process of thinking, primarily occurring within prefrontal lobe brain cells and tissue mass, by making a concerted effort to engage in more sensory processing of environmental stimuli. Rear Admiral John Poindexter may think, the Birdman of Alcatraz reduced mental anguish while incarcerated in Penitentiary by sensory processing connected with natural element of a bird he cared for while imprisoned. If this fellow on the Internet doesn’t watch it, he may have lots of time to finish writing his book.

In response to a barrage of questions from reporters, searching for the scoundrel in the sticks, the backwoods local yokel hillbilly responds, “no comment”. The last statement from the local yokel before he climbed back underneath his rock, like a bug, is ‘they just trying to take my Nobel Peace Prize Award away’.

*sigh*

*thinks* What kind of a fish is a hill-billy founder ?*


Please read the writing guidelines.

This entry is not suitable for Peer Review, please remove it and try the Alternative Writing Workshop.

Ah. This is the same fellow that wrote A1104634. I think I see a trend emerging.


Geggs

Hark... do I hear the other inhabitants of the bus shelter calling?


Scout

I have no doubt that you do.

I think this entry should go an join it's sibling over there.


Geggs

Dear Researcher 234038,

Thank you for posting your entry to h2g2 - it certainly makes for interesting reading. However, as has already been noted by some of our Researchers, your entry does not yet meet the Edited Guide guidelines. So, to reiterate, if you want your entry to remain in Peer Review and you would like your entry to be considered for inclusion into the Edited Guide, please read the Writing-Guidelines and respond to people in the Peer Review threads.

If you do not want to change what you've written or respond to folk in Peer Review, please remove this entry from Peer Review and consider submitting it to Writing-Alternative, the Alternative Writing Workshop. There are plenty of places within the h2g2 Guide as a whole that your entry can go into ie, the Underguide (A1010818) or <./>thepost</.>.

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Hmm... I think this one needs shifting.

I shall box off an e-mail shortly

'Thank you for posting your entry to h2g2 - it certainly makes for interesting reading'

Not it doesn't. It makes for remarkably tedious reading.