Through The Doughnut Hole

7 Conversations

... and now ladies, gentlemen and others, please put your hands, paws, fins,
goinks1 together for
another Through the Doughnut Hole!!!!

smiley - musicalnoteDoughnuts are best with or without a
holesmiley - musicalnote
smiley - musicalnote But an opening is good for when you look Through the
Doughnut Hole! smiley - musicalnote2


Hello all, please make sure you are sitting comfortably, because this show is a biggy, and if that's not a word, then I will give Blotto a stern warning because he said it was. Thank you for once more tuning into the Doughnut Hole, I am sure you won’t be disappointed.

This week we have some great guests, but before I introduce them to you, let me remind
you of last week's question, which was: You have been ship-wrecked on a deserted desert
island. One packing crate has washed up with you. What would you most like to find


My first guest this week, mumbled through his 'Slartibartfast' facial adornment that his
introduction of last week may have been in some error. Looking back at last weeks show he
may have been correct, for when we said, '1902 Egg Eating Champion of the World', we of
course meant '1802 Egg Eating Champion of the World'. Sorry Marjin, it was of course
Blotto's mistake and he has been well sorted out for it. So here he is again, the guest we all
love to hug, it's Marjin in this conversation

'When awaking at an uninhabited desert island, the first priority should be
surviving long enough to be rescued.

So I hope to find a thingy to make drinkable water, astronaut food and a solar powered
satellite connected laptop.

And of course a packet of matches, a Swiss officers knife and a cask of smiley - ale.'

It almost makes me think that you might be some sort of Boy Scout, you know just what
you want, where you want it, and I suspect you know just what to do with it as well. All the
comforts of home, a wonderful answer, thank you.


My second guest this week is someone we haven't had the pleasure of on the show before.
She has a regular column in The Post called 'Running With Scissors', she is talented,
dedicated, and likes to grow rare mushrooms in her spare time. I speak of none other than
quizzical who in this conversation said...

'...The Luggage of Discworld fame.

It's got everything in it that a traveller could want or need, and it's a homicidal maniac to
boot. In short: the perfect travelling companion.'

That sounds quite a scary thought running around with the Luggage, knowing what sort of
trouble the previous owners of it have gotten themselves into. But I do agree with you, that
inside its cavernous depths you would no doubt find everything you could ever want or


My third guest this week has recently come back from journey of discovery into his own
arm-pit. He has also written several scientific papers on the 'Jodeus Phenomenon', and plans
to write a couple of thousand more when time permits. He needs no further introduction, it is
Jodan who started this conversation

'I want a GPS system, a raft, a toothbrush and a cell phone

Hey, it's not the most creative box to wish for, but I don't mind. Oh, and in not wishing for
food, I'm assuming there are coconuts on the island'

Ah, the humble coconut is always good to assume. It could actually negate most of your
list, besides food, you could make a toothbrush from the hairy fibre's on the outside, a
telephone by taking two halves and attaching a really long piece of string, and of course you
could make a handy raft from coconuts, which as we all know are full of air, and extremely


My fourth guest this week is currently in an undisclosed location, in an uncharted forest in

deepest darkest Borneo. Why he is there, and for who, and for what only time can tell.
Please everyone make welcome Deus Ex Machina who in same
conversation said...

'You know what would be cool to find inside the crate? Another crate! And
then you could open that crate up and find another crate inside, and then you could open that
crate up and find another crate inside, and then you could open that crate up and find
another crate inside, and you know the rest!

Actually, what I want to know is how I'm going to open the mystery crate without a crowbar.
It's not like I'm going to open a crate with my bare hands, am I? Hmm... wait a minute...

*goes out for a second*

*comes back with splinters in hands*

I guess not...'

Those splinters look jolly painful, maybe it would be best if I called Nurse Gerty to deal
with you. If you liked Borneo, they you will love exploring our very deep and dark Nurse,
and if you are very lucky, she may let you out of the Medical Room in a month or two.


My fifth guest this week seems to have become quite infatuated with my Personal
Assistant Blotto, poor thing. There is really no future in it my dear, Blotto is mine, all mine,
he is indispensable, and who would I blame when things go wrong. With that said, please
make welcome, the one and only Pinwheel Pearl who in this

'I would like to find Greebo smiley - winkeye

Seriously, chocolate, because I'm female and therefore need it in large quantities, some good
books, perhaps Terry Pratchett's to cheer me up. The one's with the witches in, they're my
faves. And so, I would in fact get Greebo in my crate anyway! YAY!!'

Another vote for Mister Pratchett's imagination, and who can really blame you for wanting

to find Greebo in the crate. If I was stuck on a deserted desert island, then I would like to
find me in a crate as well. The perfect companion to while away the time until rescue.


My sixth guest on this weeks show, is another that you would not have seen before. They
write a wonderful column each week in The Post, the much praised, 'The Hootoo Home of
Today', and I am as pleased as a very pleased thing that they have agreed to come on the
show. Please give a big Doughnut welcome to Terri &
in this conversation

'I'd like to find my very bestest friend (alive & not even wet of course!)
along with a nice new laptop & a large picnic hamper, an inflatable tardis would be useful

too (fully equipped of course.)

--And permission to stay on the island as long as we wanted!'

The perfect idyll, well it would be if the picnic hamper was filled with doughnuts. I had
never thought of an inflatable tardis, what a fantastic idea. Though it does seem that a lot

people all have the same idea in lap tops computers, are they really so indispensable


My last but definitely not least guest this week is a large cog in a little machine, or should
that be a small nut in the asylum. Hmmm... or maybe he's a large nut in a small cog that
resides in a Mechanical Asylum. Well whichever saying suits him best, please enjoy the
company of Archangel Dr Justin in this conversation.

'A freak wormhole through the fabric of the space-time continuum, which
takes me straight back home when I step through it.

Saves all that bother with having to survive until being rescued, you see...'

If there has to be someone who finds an easy way out of a bad situation my money would
be on you Justin my love.


It's always good solving those little problems that perplex us isn't it, makes you feel
better and that all is right with the world. That is until you think up an entirely new
question to perplex yourself with, and the idea of having to think up a question to perplex
yourself with is perplexing in itself. So to save you the bother I shall come up with a new
question for you to solve, or deliberate over and maybe another article just like this one but
with different words will spring forth from The Post and onto your computer screens.

So today's question is... roll of drums...

How did you first come across the secret world that is

Maybe a friend told you, maybe a search enticed you or maybe you saw it on the TV. Tell
us all in a conversation below. As before I will use whatever facts, information or silliness in
a future Doughnut Hole.

Of course you can also enter into any of the conversations featured on this page.


Another Doughnut Hole over, spent with wonderful guests, and great conversation. Now
it's all back to the Green Room, apart of course for Deus Ex Machina who is still with Nurse
Gerty, and Pinwheel Pearl who seems to of gotten herself pinned in a corner with Blotto, well
I never. See you all next time, same Post article, same post channel!!!

This weeks article is brought to by The Post and large grey sheet, ideal for cover

Share and Enjoy!!

Through the Doughnut Hole


31.07.03 Front Page

Back Issue Page

1I am not going to ask, maybe you should...2Music by Elmer Fudd, Lyrics
by Vogon Soundoffonetwo

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