The Hootoo Home of Today

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The Hootoo Home of Today by Asteroid Lil

'I disagree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.' (Voltaire)

Chinese Whispers


'Don't tell anyone but...'


'Well, don't pass it on, but... you know our Tone and his mate George?'

'Go on, go on, you can tell me, I won't tell anyone, I promise!'

Oh dear. ever heard of that kid's game 'Consequences'?

GB met TB
GB wore... a conservative suit and a patriotic grin.
TB wore... something remarkably similiar.
GB said... 'Getting a bit worried about that joker with all the oil.'
TB said... 'Ah yes; the one whose family helped him get to the top. Got weapons of mass destruction I've been told. Nasty little blighter. Ignore all that business about him being a bit like you. He's much darker. And he's got a moustache. My mate Ken said'


GB and TB decided to get rid of him.

(after all, we can't have bullying can we? Innocent bystanders and all that. We know what's good for 'em don't we?)

AND the consequence was...

Some poor sod lies dead in a field.

Gentle Man With Core of Steel1

Dr David Kelly is remembered by friends as a gentle, quiet man with a steely determination to get at the truth.

One of many, as spim points out.

Ah, 'a steely determination to get at the truth'. Hmm. There may be some sort of link here with the ethos of journalists who are, of course, accused of virtually murdering the guy. It has been said of journalists that:

'All good journalists have agendas. They wish to put the crooked sheriff in jail. They wish to unveil the patent medicine fraud. They wish to free the innocent man from jail2'

Terri talked to a few fellow hooters about all this:
'Shock, horror, a government lying during a war?' quipped Z; while his flatmate, Neil, came up with a classic Latin one-liner: 'In vino veritas' which, of course, translates as In wine is truth.

Yes, I feel a Boothby moment approaching.

The World's Drinks and How to Mix Them3

Here's one to cheer Our Tone up:

Bamboo: a well-known Japanese mixture, very popular with steamship men and tourists who have visited the Orient.

Half sherry and half French vermouth in any quantity is called a Bamboo. A Bamboo Cocktail is also popular and is made and flavoured just like any ordinary cocktail, only that a mixture of equal parts of sherry and vermouth is used instead of the usual American decoctions.'

Jolly good! I am tempted to say 'eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die!' As indeed we might, if this sort of thing carries on: Bush cautions Iran and Syria. No doubt someone is busy moving the hands of the Doomsday Clock a bit further forward even as we squeak.

But of course, you can't believe a word we say, can you, since we are some sort of journalists, or hacks if it makes you happier. Let's listen to some music then. 0nce more spim has found some appropriate words from the aptly named Divine Comedy - From the fourth album Fin de Siecle:

From Generation Sex:

'Lovers watch their backs as hacks in macs

Take snaps through telephoto lenses

Chase Mercedes Benzes through the night

A mourning nation weeps and wails

But keeps the the sales of evil tabloids healthy'

and, from Life On Earth:
'Always to thine own self be true

Not to fools like me

Who'll change their minds

For the sake of rhyming schemes'

Right. Terri is going to slide straight off the fence, jump on the bandwagon and head straight for the nearest soapbox. (Come on, spim, you must be able to come up with a cartoon of that little vision!)

Here comes an Official Zen-Devil statement.

I can only go by what I feel are the facts I am given about a situation and the assumption that those facts are correct. Quite obviously, often they are not. If the public is not kept informed of the truth, how can it possibly form a valid opinion? If the press is prevented from protecting its sources, surely no-one would ever come forward to speak out about facts that large corporations and governments would rather we didn't know about?

This sort of conspiracy of silence makes me feel like shouting 'Big Brother is watching me and he says I can't tell anyone!'

Clare Short seems to agree with me:

'We're getting this ridiculous assault on the BBC as a complete distraction from the big issues about Iraq... how come there was an 'imminent threat' and yet there were no weapons of mass destruction4?'

Mind you, this was, of course, reported on BBC News, they're not exactly flavour of the month at the moment are they? Never mind, the government only has to wait for the next terrorist attack before it can shut us all up. (Yes, beloved fellow Hooters, this means YOU!)

Way back on May 25th 2003, The Sunday Times cheerfully reported that under new legislation, in the event of a terrorist attack, the BBC is legally obliged to follow orders from the government.

Oh. Quelle surprise as they say round here in the land of 'Surrender Monkeys'.

Back to some music I think. Funnily(?) enough, I'm listening to the Smiths at the moment, who seem to be saying:

'If it's not love, it's the bomb that will bring us together'

Dr David Kelly loved his job, he also loved the concept of truth.

I shall hand you over to spim for the final words this week:

'in the end all we can hope for is the complete honesty of a lover...'

From the Standard: It's A Sin To Tell A Lie, which I know best by Billie Holiday

'So be sure, that it's true

When you say 'I love you'

It's a sin to tell a lie

This week's themes are Truth and Love. Phew.

The Hootoo Home of Today Archive

Terri & Yoda

and spimcoot

24.07.03 Front Page

Back Issue Page

1Uk News2Newsguild3The Honourable Wm (Cocktail) Boothby4Head to Head: Death of David Kelly
- Peter Mandelson and Clare Short debate the aftermath of the apparent suicide of government scientist Dr David Kelly.

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