The Dictionary

1 Conversation

The dictionary is something that most of us rely on.

Every word of knowledge ever written in our language and many others are contained within its valuable pages. We draw on its resources when we need words to baffle and confound or we just need a meaning.

The dictionary is a valuable resource used by many worldwide; television shows such as 'Countdown' and 'Call My Bluff' rely heavily on it. But some definitions many of us feel could be better, or different. Here are a few I have picked up over my time.

  • Adult:

    A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing
    in the middle.

  • Beauty Parlour:

    A place where people curl up and dye.

  • Cannibal:

    Someone who is fed up with people.

  • Committee:

    A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

  • Dust:

    Mud with the juice squeezed out.

  • Egotist:

    Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

  • Gossip:

    A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.

  • Handkerchief:

    Cold Storage.

  • Inflation:

    Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

  • Myth:

    A female moth.

  • Mosquito:

    An insect that makes you like flies better.

  • Raisin:

    Grape with sunburn.

  • Secret:

    Something you tell to one person at a time.

  • Skeleton:

    A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

  • Toothache:

    The pain that drives you to extraction.

  • Tomorrow:

    One of the greatest labour saving devices of today.

  • Yawn:

    An honest opinion openly expressed.

  • Wrinkles:

    Something other people have. You have character lines.

The dictionary people have never found time to review this case, shame really. A book with no storyline really could do with some brightening up!

Parkin With Zarkin Archive

Zarkin Fardwarks

24.07.03 Front Page

Back Issue Page

Bookmark on your Personal Space

Conversations About This Entry



Infinite Improbability Drive

Infinite Improbability Drive

Read a random Edited Entry


h2g2 is created by h2g2's users, who are members of the public. The views expressed are theirs and unless specifically stated are not those of the Not Panicking Ltd. Unlike Edited Entries, Entries have not been checked by an Editor. If you consider any Entry to be in breach of the site's House Rules, please register a complaint. For any other comments, please visit the Feedback page.

Write an Entry

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."

Write an entry
Read more