h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Very neato stuff H

Thanks.

Hi Hypatia,

Your poem, if I have read correctly, reeks of a disease growing stronger as its prey, the mother, grows weaker in resisting the callings of her past - very poignant.

Thank you Ameuc. The poem actually has a dual meaning. The first portrays a descent into dementia. The second relates to grief and the desire to join loved ones in the spirit world. I wanted to write something about both and realized that I could combine them.

The term half life comes from the Arapaho. They have a period of mourning - a year I think - where the close relatives of the deceased are said to be in the half life. They live in two worlds. In the spirit world with the deceased and in the physical world with the living. Then at the end of the year, there is a ceremony and the mourners return completely to the physical world. I hope I've described that correctly, and I apologize if I haven't.

The woman in the poem is my mother and the memories are from her life.

A beautiful eulogy.

I lost my mother in 2000, and towards the end she suffered from dementia, which was partly due to the amounts of morphine we had to give her for the pain.

I wrote a little bit about how I felt in a very dark poem but it was all anger, all negative, however it made me and my family feel a little better.

I realise now that no matter who death claims, they will always remain alive in our thoughts, in our memories, and nothing can ever claim those because the memories are shared, like stories of old, from mouth to mouth, generation to generation and thus immortality is achieved, for good or ill.

Take care,

Ame

My father had alzheimers. He actually died of a heart attack before he reached the bedridden stage, so we were very thankful for that. But we had completely lost him. He had passed the stage where he had even brief recognition of who we were - who he was.

Mom has never recovered. (He died Dec 26, 1999.) I don't think she will. She's eaten up with guilt for putting him in a nursing home. We didn't have a choice. She couldn't keep him safe. He wandered off constantly and we had to search the neighborhood for him.

Her memory is getting bad. I keep telling myself that it isn't the same thing, but it scares me to death. I don't know if I can go through it again. That's selfish, I know, but there it is.

It is terrible when guilt eats you up, your poor mother. A trip down the doctors may help her, they can offer counselling services, give her a check up.

Don’t worry too much about being selfish, we all are in our ways, and you have gone through a terrible experience which you don’t want a repeat of, perfectly understandable, as long as you are there for your parent by loving her, taking time out to be with her, that’s the main thing.

Wish you all well.