h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yes "courtesy calls" annoy me.

But what really annoy's me is that they say "This is a courtesy call"

No it isn't. You liar. It is a whopping discourtesy to ring me up and waste my time with your miserable pointless consumer surveys and sales drivel for your useless products that I would never buy in response to a cold call on principle.

I beg to differ. Sometimes the discourtesy comes from the person called. Let me explain. I have had to make 'courtesy calls' on behalf of a car dealership to check on customer satisfaction with the service department. These were a key part of the job, and I had to do them because they couldn't rely on the customer to fill in the satisfaction questionnaire that was left for them when they picked up the car. If the customer said they didn't want to answer the questions, or said they had filled in the questionnaire I just said 'Thank-you' and moved on to the next customer. Most of them *were* polite when answering the questions, even if they weren't satisfied. But there were *some* who insisted in taking their dissatisfaction out on me, despite the fact I was just the telephonist/receptionist. All I could do was grit my teeth and bear it, with a polite "All this is being noted and it will be reported back to head office" - which it was, by me, in detail.

So next time you get a 'courtesy' call, if you're not interested say so politely and put the phone down. Make sure that it *is* a courtesy call in both directions.

Sure, the caller is just doing a job, and its not their fault. But if you find out who is responsible for deciding you are due a discourtesy call, ring them up at 2am.

You say you had to make these calls because the customer couldn't be relied upon to answer a questionnaire? So what? Perhaps the customer was under the delusion that cash payment for the service was sufficient payment, and didn't want to waste their time doing paperwork for your employer's benefit.

Actually, sometimes I don't mind "are you satisfied with the service?" calls, because it gives me a chance to complain. Or praise I suppose. They're not so common though. Companies you really want to complain at quickly learn not to make such calls.

Mostly it is market research. Well excuse me, but it is your job to know the answers to these questions, that is what your client is paying you for. Why are you bothering me? But no, rudeness is not justified. If you have the time, the way to get your own back is to lie. The interviewee in market research has tremendous power in the marketplace very cheaply. Businesses will frequently base strategy decisions on market research rather than actual spending patterns, and one answer might have as much influence as £10,000 expenditure.

So lying has two good objectives - one to undermine the value of the results, so that market researchers will have to find more accurate ways of gathering data and will stop pestering people with phone calls.
Two - to encourage or discourage certain market trends ("Would you buy a 3G phone?" - yes; "Would you buy a zero emission car?" - yes; "Would you be more likely to vote if some dodgy e-voting thing was introduced?" - no; etc) The challenge is to work out what answer is most likely to lead to the outcome you want, irrespective of truth.