h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"And the sod who picked it."

Yeah. A case of for that person.

You serious?

Yep. Here it is.

Howdy. I'll be your sub-ed on this, and from reading through it it doesn't seem like that will be much work, except a typo that I will hopefully spot again since I didn't fix it at once. I've got the soon-to-be-edited version over at A1118396

The only thing I'd _like_ to change is the number of external links. This is a personal preference and not a EG rule, so feel free to veto it. I read everything in goo, and links are very prominent in that skin, I don't mind links to h2g2 entries for every little detail, or external links for important elements, but I think external links should be kept to a minimum, and generic links to the white house, antigo, wisconsin, czechoslovakia, kentucky etc. are particularly unecessary.

Out of the 32 links to external pages I feel that only the following are usefull:

Gila River Indian Reservation
Joe Rosenthal
Rosenthal?s photograph
Indian Relocation Program
Arlington National Cemetery
Navy Cross
The Ballad of Ira Hayes

If you feel strongly about some, or all, of the others, tell me and I'll grit my teeth and leave them in.

I have no problem with your reducing the number of links. Or fixing typos. And I REALLY appreciate you having asked.

All I really would be concerned about is any noticable change to the entries actual content, beyond Fixing typos and changing American English to British English.

Have at it, then!

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An excellent piece, well researched, planned and presented. The human experience behind the media presentation is often wildly different.

Thank you, Hoon.

Hmm, wrong button, so I post here as well, in case you aren't subscribed to the actual page.

Long overdue, but I've now done the sub-ed thing on the entry. I've changed little, except paring down the number of external links...
The most noticable other change is probly my attempt to make the intro look as good as possible.
I'll await your final comments before returning it to the towers.

Well then, Let me take a look. I'll be right back.

It's amazing what you pick up on when you go back and review something you've written a few weeks later. I have no problem with any of the changes you've made, which are, as you said, minor. I did pick up on a few typos I had made that are still there.

1st paragraph, 3rd sentence in the "Hero" section... United State should be United States.

1st paragraph in the "After the War" section... "Ira found himself receiving the attention, and drinks, from tourists..." should be receiving attention, and drinks. We need to lose the "the."

In the section "The Death of Ira Hayes..." "Ira Hayes fell into the irrigation ditch that was the Reservations sole source of water" Reservations should be Reservation's.

In the section on Franklin Runyon Sousley, under "The other men in the photograph," "When the telegram notifying his mother of his death, it went to..." should read "When the telegram notifying his mother of his death was delivered, it went to..."

Like I said, these were all there when you got the entry. Get 'em fixed up and I think it's good to go!

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Right, I obviously need to pay more attention to the job.
I fixed the typos you mentioned, and then I tried to rearrange that last sentence to get rid of the double 'delivered'.
Rather than
"When the telegram notifying his mother of his death was delivered, it went to the General Store in his hometown and was delivered by a barefoot boy who ran it up to her farm."

I put

"When the telegram notifying his mother of his death was delivered, it went to the General Store in his hometown and was then carried by a barefoot boy who ran it up to her farm."

Objections, other typos I've missed ?

No more nothing. As far as I'm concerned, you did a great job as subeditor and can hit that "submit" button any time. Thanks!

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