h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Marc-Vivien Foe - Footbller (1975-2003) - A1093493
Author: Master B - If I did anything embarrassing on Saturday, please let me know in my journal. Ta. - U190397

A collaborative from the Virtual Supporters Club about the saddening events of last week.

If anyone has any additions, they are more than welcome. We would like the community as a whole to remember MVF.

B

Very nice entry to have been put together as quickly as it was. A very nice tribute.

- X

I was surprised how fast we got it up, took a good writer to use our research and get a coherent entry done in 45 mins!

This is an excellent tribute to a great footballer, who died far too early.

I do not deserve a credit on this, but I am honoured to have an association with the entry.

Rest in Peace Marc-Vivien Foe

You were on the thread, and I think it reflects well on the community, the more names that are on these types of entries.

B

Thank you

Do you think we will be able to rush this through?

I doubt it.

It'll still be the standard week in PR, and then anything up to a month while it gets Subbed and Edited.

I think the incident will still be fairly fresh in people minds in five weeks' time, though.

B

I hope so

Good work.

Somehow this seems incomplete without the words he used to encourage the rest of the team at half time ...

"Boys, even if it means dying on the pitch, we must win this semifinal"

Source: http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/soccer/news/2003/06/27/foe_halftime/


Trout

Hmm...not sure I'd want to believe everything CNN say.

Not sure it'd be particularly tasteful even if I did.

B

Ah, so this is what people at work were talking about.

As it's a such a sad story, I amost feel disinclined to say anything negative about the entry, however it would be good if the entry included a bit more about him and his career.

There's a typo:

Machester City > Manchester City.

"qualities that too rare in the modern game."

That needs sorting too!

I too think that the article maybe concentrates too much on his death and the tributes rather than his life. Some of the points I amde in the VSC threadmay help rectify this, and I'd be willing to look for some more if you wish.

You nicked all those from the Times obituary.

If you could dig up something about his early life in Cameroon, that'd be quite interesting.

B

Good work . I can volunteer to sub this if required, to speed it through the process.

One of our presenters claims that the correct pronunciation, as was announced when he first came to Britain, is 'foo-ey', as in 'Hong Kong Phooey'. But opinion is divided as to whether he's right or not.

I'm not sure whether you'd be allowed to Sub it, given as how your on the Researcher list.

Having said that, it's a small task to take your name off when you know it'll reappear again.

B

I'll do a spot of research on his life and career and get back to you either tonight or tomorow.

Nice work, Master B! I agree that the piece could do with a little more on his life as opposed to his death, so I look forward to seeing what Egon comes up with.

A couple of other bits might perhaps be better phrased. The sentence 'All to no avail; Marc-Vivien Foé was pronounced dead at the medical centre at the Gerland Stadium in Lyon; the condition was later diagnosed as being due to a disorder of the heart's electrical system.' reads a bit oddly. I suppose that being dead is a condition, but it's not usually referred to as such!

How about: 'All to no avail. Marc-Vivien Foé was pronounced dead at the medical centre at the Gerland Stadium in Lyon. A post-mortem examination revealed that he had died due to a disorder of his heart's electrical system.'

Later, you refer to the Cameroon team's desire to win the Confederations Cup in his honour, but a couple more sentences intervene before you get to the line 'Sadly, it was not to be', which makes it unclear what 'it' was. Something like 'Sadly, the Cameroon team could not capture the Cup' might be better.

Finally, one really nitpicking point: the accent is missing from the 'Foe' at the end of the sentence about Thierry Henry's goal celebration.

Changes made.

Dammit - thought I'd caught all those accents this morning.

B

Looking better now. Not too emotive, but not too dry and heartless. Done a good job methinks!

Oh, btw, have you seen the title? A1093493 - Marc Vivien Foe - Footbller

Missing an accent and an a!