Only You Can Save Mankind
Created | Updated Oct 28, 2003
This is part of The Cathedral of Terry Pratchett
This book is another to feature Johnny.
Plot
Johnny gets hold of a pirate version of a space fighter game and plays it at home, only to discover that the game is actually linked to the real struggle of survival of the "evil" reptiles in the game, who are in fact, quite nice people looking for a nice planet to live on1. Johnny can only access this and help them when he sleeps, and enlists his friends to help save them. He has to battle other "real" players of the game to save them and always wakes up sitting at his computer desk with the screen displaying static.
Best Bits
Johnny hesitating before shooting another player of the game and this resulting in the destruction of the cargo ship with all the food on it. The dialogue says that even though Johnny knew the vacuum of space would make the explosion silent, he still hear a sort of distant rumbling.
Johnny enlisting his friends to flight freighters, also in their sleep, and trying to convince them they are doing the right thing.
One of Johnny's friends telling him "Yo." isn't cool anymore. Johnny asks if cool is still cool.
Friend: "You can be flying this alien mother ship."
Johnny: "I'm not."
Friend: "Oh. Good."
Johnny: "I'm flying the entire fleet."
Friend: "What?"
Johnny: "There's a button here that lets you do it."
Notable Quotes
Several good parts of the book, but the best is probably:
Alien leader: "According to your Geneva convention, since we surrendered to you, you are required to feed us the same food you get yourself."
Johnny: "I am?"
Alien leader: "Yes. We require 8000 hamburgers, 4000 protions of french ries, 9000 litres of cola, 6000 biologically inert bacteria..."
Johnny: "Huh?"
Alien leader: "You had a strawberry yoghurt. We also require 2 tonnes of toilet paper, 2000 litres of water and 400 bars of chocolate. Daily. Thanks you."
This is not an exact quote, but the gist is close enough for government work. Another good one is:
"[the alien] was dead. Johnny could tell instantly. People with holes that big in them don't get back up again."
The story is a triumph and one of Pratchett's best works. Many readers were saddened that no TV serial was made from it, other Johnny books (Johnny and the Dead, for example) were filmed. But perhaps it's best. The budget would never have done the special effects justice and it make s this Johnny book a little more unique.