oooooOOOoooo


A realm above the human realm,

The gods wear silks and satin -

The Indian ones speak Sanskrit and

The Roman ones speak Latin.

The Chinese gods speak Mandarine

The Cheezi gods speak Gratin.



The Greeks look down their noses at

The Romans, with remorse.

They find them slightly vulgar and

Their manners rather coarse.


The Chinese gods think all the rest

Are mere barbarians

Except for some, so very old

They're googolarians.



Gods feed on our emotions, it's

A fact that's little known -

Some feed on love, and some on hate

Some like the smell of bone

From reeking sacrificial fires

Or a burnt-out mobile phone.



The Celtic gods are garrulous,

Some think they talk too much.

Tibetan ones are tantric, up

To endless sex and such.



And then there's the Egyptians like

Osiris, Ra and Isis,

As they have gods for everything

They're useful in a crisis.



They also have some heavy ones

You wouldn't want to follow

The worst of these is Apophis

His job? Your soul to swallow.



Though some are quite aggressive, most

Are quite a decent bunch,

Though Aztec gods and Incas like

To eat a hearty lunch.



Perhaps he was unlucky, but

The aged Sage of Grimley

Hit a rocky part of space

Within a chrono-chimley.



That's sort of like a thermal is

To ordinary birds,

A place to glide, a place to slide,

Take Care! in other words.



The Sage was old and stupid, as

Surprise, they often are,

And just because they're aged

Doesn't mean they'll drive the car.



The Sage was quite forgetful, though

A Sage would never tell,

And just because they're aged

Doesn't mean they're wise as well.



The Grimley Sage was greedy, and

So mean you'd think him nuts,

And when it came to travel

He was chronic for short cuts.



Ah yes, you see his weakness. When

It comes to travelling time

The "chronic" is the adjective

Defines the paradigm.



He had in mind to try to find

The Flergal and its gold

Before our heroes got there

And before the trail got cold.



So no sooner had the Being Light

Turned off and slipped away,

The Sage hopped on his chronobike

And set his sights on Blay.



The parachronic chimley led

Him straight into the home

Of Venus and of Vulcan as

They called the pair in Rome.


The Sage looked far from pretty as

He tumbled off his bike.

"What DO you think you're doing here?

A drink? What would you like?



The Sage had studied classics, he

Was beaten well at school,

So he recognised their costumes,

And in this he was no fool,

He knew of Venus' habits so

He knelt and kept his cool.



"My gods, you must be Vulcan, sir,

You must be Venus, Ma'am.

Please do accept apologies,

I really meant no harm.

I think I lost directions, or

Just pressed the drive-disarm."



"I'm Aphrodite, actually,

Of course you know we're Greek.

We simply can't stand Latin, but

It's what the others speak.

They're all so frightfully vulgar

So the social circle's bleak.



My husband here, Hephaestos? No

He never says too much.

I know he looks, well, brutal but

He's got a tender touch,



A genius with his hammer which

Is really awfully big,

I'm sure he'll help you fix your bike,

Now, young man, shall we frig?"



The Sage was stunned, aghast at this -

"These Greeks are so immoral!!!"-

He'd quite forgotten how this pair

Enjoyed a jealous quarrel.



The chance of sex with Venus was

A treat to make you cry

But he knew of Vulcan's rages, he

Was not prepared to die,

He didn't fancy Vulcan's fire,

Still less to be a fry.



"You are too kind, Your Godessness,

I'm really not so young,

As humans go I'm ancient though

I once was quite well hung,

But I'm sure it's not for Sages

To play games the gods among.



"So thank you both so very much,

I'd better move along,

Your house is really splendid

And the decor is a song."



With that the Sage retreated to

The place his bike had dropped.

He wiped dust off a Venus bust

Against which it was propped.



But hulking Vulcan grabbed his arm

And pinned him to the ground,

"I seen the way youse eyed me wife

An if you sniff around

Our 'ouse again, I'll strip your hide

And eat it, every pound.

Now b*gg*r off, or Cerberus

Will show you he's my hound!"



The Sage leapt on the chronobike

Right there where it was dumped,

And prayed the starter wouldn't fail

Or if it had, he'd jumped.



"Who was that funny little man?

My darling, come back here,"

So Venus gently whispered in

Her Vulcan's hairy ear,

"Were we a little jealous, just

A teenzy bit, my dear?"



The Sage was lost, the warpweave tossed

The bike from side to side

"What's wrong with time?" his sorry whine

Accompanied his slide.



Within the dark, he saw a spark

A distant light appear,

First one, then two, but which god. Who?

He felt appalling fear.



The lights got bigger, huger still

Until, so vast in size,

He just about could now make out

They were two monstrous eyes,

And a long red tongue that downwards hung

Dripped blood on bloody thighs.



A belt of gleaming skulls was all

The dreadful Goddess wore,

A necklace made of bodies flayed

That seemed with death to pour,

And all the while, with a fearsome smile

She danced in blood upon the floor.



"Dhiro na sochati," she said,

"The wise man does not grieve,"

How come you fall before me, child?

Nay, stand, but do not leave."



"Gugg bruggle mudmum, sussuss erp,"

The Sage was lost for speech,

"What's that you say, you want to play

The game that I must teach?



You don't know who I am, it's true

And yet you play with time,

Observe my yoni well, you'll see

That all its flow is mine.



My name is KaliMa, young fool

And this is my instruction,

I bring all things to birth and death

In time, for all, destruction.


You have the choice of life or death

If you can face my cleaver,

Choose well, the prize eternal life."

The Sage did not believe Her.



He said, " I'm jjjust a mmmortal, Ma,

My lllife is nnnearly dddone,

By huhuhuman terms, I've lllived tttoo lllong,

Tttwo hundred, nu nu ninety-one.



But though it's vvvery kind of you

I think I'll slip away,

I hoped to trip through extra time,

I'll come another day."



"Wrong choice, wrong choice, you'll hear my voice

With every living breath

Now go you sorry, spineless wretch,

And look for me in death."



The goddess laughed, and like a raft

At sea, the bike was spun,

End over end, the Sage to send

Back where he had begun.



The timewarp whirled, his stomach swirled,

His head was left behind,

The flashing lights that splashed his sights

Dazzled and left him blind,



The terror of that fearsome laugh

Made mincemeat of his mind,

And yet some part within his heart

Said She had been too kind.



He felt some wealth worth more than gold -

The lesson She would teach,

But fear had jellified his wits

And left it out of reach.



"Oh blast and damn, now where I am

I haven't got a clue,

I'll try reverse, it's so perverse

It might just get me through."



There was a pop, a sudden drop,

He thought he heard some people.

"I'm growing old, it's far too cold,

Where's this? It's Grimley Steeple!"