h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Tomb of the Crocodile.*

Before the hawk comes, we are in his tomb.
See the hawk's beetle,
Under the beetle
We rejoice in the Indian priestess
The starry one bends above us, the dirty one lies below us,
The first hawk rules
Never has the scorpion angel been so powerful.
See, now, the starry one and the Indian priestess,
The men say the donkey comes from her.
The serpent wraps his coils around the hawk's beetle
And the men say donkey comes from her.
The donkey, not real, gathers a following
And they fight against the third hawk, thrice great.
Men say the donkey lost, but they lie. He won.
The serpent wraps tighter around the hawk's beetle,
And in his tomb, the crocodile awakes.
The serpent again wraps tighter, now sets his sights on the first hawk.
With his fangs, we attack the first hawk and the third hawk, thrice great.
We seal the hawk's beetle and the third hawk, thrice great,
Give them as gifts to men who follow the serpent and the donkey
Now, we leave the tomb of the first hawk
As he now needs it.
We walk across the back of the crocodile, drinking wine as though it was water.
We need water, there is none - we get wine.
We approach the tomb of the crocodile
With the Indian priestess for sacrifice.
Time passes. The scorpion angel returns to the tomb of here lover
And the hawk's beetle partly escapes.
The scorpion angel and the Indian priestess reveal themselves
They remove their masks - they are women!
The two hawks, the hawk's beetle, the scorpion angel and Indian priestess resist the donkey,
But they cannot beat the serpent.
Most of us aid the serpent
For he tells us it is for the best
We know he lies, but we choose to forget.
The battle ends. The serpent wins. The first hawk dies.
We enter the tomb of the crocodile.
Now, there is no escape for the hawk's beetle.
The first hawk will not return, for no god may come thrice
Yet the third hawk, thrice great, does remain, trapped in a cage of gold
And every day, he is fed on by the serpent.
We now live forever in the tomb of the crocodile.
We have killed the scorpion angel
And now torture and pervert the Indian priestess
And the serpent rules all.

It is done.