h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It is a well documented characteristic of the pessimist that he/she would describe a glass containing liquid up to the half-way mark as being half empty. I have to take exception with this assumption since this will almost certainly depend on the liquid in question.

I am pretty sure that a pessimist would look on a half-glass of monkey vommit as half full, If however the liquid was beer, the standard rule might well apply - unless the beer in question happened to be Greenhalls Mild.

One thing about a half-empty/half-full mug of beer. To pragmatists, it simply needs a refill.
I'd also like to note that pessimists are generally a load of morose, depressing bastards.

Most pessimists would agree. Perhaps you are one! You are only looking at their bad sides. They just need to be encouraged. After all they have plenty of room for improvement.

Hell, you're right. Perhaps I am.

When you see a Half empty glass (of beer) rather than a Half full glass, isn't it alcoholism rather than pessimism ???

Oh, hush.

I've seen some, that when you ask them as to whether a glass of iced tea is half empty or half full, will say it isn't even there, it's only an illusion to get your hopes up, and then when you discover the truth, make you more miserable, and the "glass" in question is part of a plot to make people feel worse, despite the fact life already does a good job with that.

You must not forget the fact that all pessimists must posses a deep insight in the nature of the world. We know that there is no meaning and everything is going down the drain anyway so if something good happens for an instance we may rejoice. As a famous philospher, his name slips me by the moment, once said: I feel much better now that I have given up hope!
This is, according to me, a very good view of life. Add to this the fact that optimists usually are incredibly anoying while pessimists keep their thought to themselves an go sob in a corner...

I've known some to say, to the same glass of Iced Tea, that it doesn't matter one way or the other, there's just too much ice in the glass in the first place.

It's actually the other way around, the glass is too big.

I can't see why anyone, even a pessimist would complain about a glass being too big. Wouldn't it be too small?

Of course it can be too big. What if it's just water in the glass.

I will admit that isn't very likely, but just supposing it IS water...

Ok, let's run with that one, because I'm confused. Let us suppose that a pessimist recieves a large glass of water, what exactly can they complain about? I mean, what could they say?
"These people are trying to waterlog me..."
I don't know, it all seems a bit sketchy to me.

They could complain that all they're getting is water, when they'd rather have a nice cold Dr. Pepper or something...
There are good points to being a pessimist, you know. As some really wise person once said, you're always either being proven right or pleasantly surprised...

Pessimists are NEVER pleasantly surprised -- they always manage to see the bad side of the most wonderful situations. I know -- I had a girlfriend who was a pessimist and she was always criticizing me -- she didn't see what a good thing I was. (oh, wait...)