h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: The TV Tower, Prague, Czech Republic - A1050454
Author: Number Six (gone away for the weekend) - U115522

Possibly a little sparse, but hey, it was quiet in the Writing Workshop, so here we are. Needs a link to the entry on Prague which I helped with and subbed, which will be added shortly.

This looks very good, but would you like to elaborate on the 'alternative future' feel of the tower? What is the style of the decor? Why is it different from capitalist TV towers, such as that giant one in Toronto?

One typo: restuarants

Thanks Gnomon - I've added a little bit, do you think it does the job? Also a couple of links.

I still don't understand about the 'alternative Communist future'. The tower was built as a communications tower and is being used as a communications tower. Other similar towers exist in capitalst countries.

You might like to add the phrase 'and the downfall of Communism' after 'the Velvet Revolution'.

Put an accent on the e of Café.

I don't think much of the Metro link. The website you link to has a very boring front page, with 'No News' as the main frame.

I must have a re-think in trying to explain the feel of the place then, I'm clearly not succeeding right now.

Accent added to café - ta.

Not sure what to do about the Metro link - as it's a frame site, I think the best think to do is link to the front page - and in the English version that's it. And as you say, unfortunately it's not up to much. But from there the reader can find all the links they need.

Alternatively, I could link to a specific page of the site - http://www.dp-praha.cz/en/di-trasy.htm, for instance - which would be much more direct use, but that would make it impossible for the reader to click through to most other places on the Prague Metro site. Not without a bit of guesswork in the address bar area, at any rate.

What do you think?

OK. In that case, leave the link as it is.

Another fine entry submitted by Number Six

Some comments:

"It's a voyage into an alternative Communist future, planned in the 1970s, which never came to exist anywhere else."
That doesn't feel quite right The middle bit spoils the flow and ruins the grammar - should it perhaps be 'It's a voyage into an alternative Communist future which, planned in the 1970s, never came to exist anywhere else.'? And what does it mean by 'anywhere else'? The communist future either never came to exist anywhere, or it did, making the 'else' redundant. I think that whole sentence needs a rebuild.

techonological - one tooo many o's.

"...which is pretty much par for the course"
What does that mean exactly?

"...including Plzen, Most, Teplice, and Liberec."
Is the list of names really necessary? It's gonna be pretty meaningless to the majority of readers and doesn't really bring anything to the party.




Scout

Thanks Gosho - I've had a crack at changing the whole alternative Communist future bit, let me know what you think (you too, Gnomon!)

techonological - one tooo many o's - done

"...which is pretty much par for the course"
What does that mean exactly? - I've changed it to say 'standard Czech fare'... there's a good little bit in the entry on Prague that talks about Czech cuisine, and it would be nice to be able to link directly to that bit if it were possible...

"...including Plzen, Most, Teplice, and Liberec."
Is the list of names really necessary? - no. I've nixed that.

I've also added some photo links that I've found, and more interestingly a bit about how the people of Prague view the Tower, and of course the Babies. How coud I forget the Babies?

This is looking good!

I'm not sure about the value of the quote from Martin Krise. He takes a long time to say not very much, other than that he opposed the tower from the start.

I think you should move the Babies section to after the section about visiting the tower.

The comment about the 3rd level, in brackets, can be made into a footnote.

A typo:

an modern --> a modern

Thanks. Does that mean I've finally cracked the 'alternative communist future' problem???

I've cut down the Martin Krise quote - d'you think it makes it punchier?

I've moved the 'Babies' section, but I'm not sure. I originally put it directly after the bit about the citizens of Prague not liking the Tower because the Babies mean they have become more favourably disposed to it - I'm worried the point will lose its impact a little if there's the bit about visiting the Tower between the two. What do you think?

Krise quote - much better. Leave it like that.

Communist feel - I think I can see what you mean now.

Babies - you're right, it was in the correct place the first time. Move it back.

It looks much better now

There are still a few things which I think could be improved:

"Situated in Mahler Gardens in Prague's working-class Zizkov district, the TV Tower is one of the most fascinating buildings in Prague"
I think there are too many Pragues in that sentence. How about 'Situated in Mahler Gardens in Prague's working-class Zizkov district, the TV Tower is one of the Czech capital's most fascinating buildings.'?

"over 200 metres high"
I believe that '200 metres tall' would be the correct way of describing the height of the tower.

"firstly, it was considered a modern eyesore..."
I think you should put a semi-colon between each of the three points and a comma after 'secondly' - '...shadow over the Old Town; secondly, people...'

"For the tourist, undoubtedly the best thing about the Prague TV Tower is the view. For unlike London's BT Tower, for example, you can visit it and and even eat..."
Two consecutive sentences beginning with the word 'for'. You could turn it into one sentence and start it all off with 'From the tourist's aspect', turning the full stop after 'view' into a comma and keeping 'for unlike'. There are also two 'and's in the second sentence - one plain text and one italicised. If you're going to italicise the word 'and', I don't think you need the word 'even' - it's a double emphasis which isn't necessary. It would be better to have one or the other. It might also be helpful to mention the now defunct revolving restaurant at the BT Tower for the benefit of those who don't know about it and who might be wondering why you're emphasising the fact that you *can* eat at the one in Prague.

Phew! I think that's everything


Scout

How's about that then?

Now then now then now then...

(sorry, I seem to be suffering an attack of the Jimmy Savilles).

Looks good Six

Goodness gracious me, 'ere we go with a letter from a young man 'oo sez 'Dear Jim, please could you fix it for me to have my entry edited?' Well, as it 'appens we can because we are the BBC


Scout

Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've therefore moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.

If you'd like to know what happens now, check out the page on 'What Happens after your Entry has been Recommended?' at EditedGuide-Process. We hope this explains everything.

Thanks for contributing to the Edited Guide!

Thanks Gosho - was it you?

A big to Gnomon as well for all his help.

all round!

Twasn't me - I was beaten to the button

Well done though


Scout

Congratulations!