h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

... I've realised that bread is much under-used as a sporting device. Last weekend we managed to play several 'bread' games:

1) Throw a slice of bread into the pot.

The pot in question being a large china boot, on a shelf at least two metres above the floor. Participants should stand at least five metres from the shelf. A maximum of 5 shots is allowed, and any throwing style is acceptable.


2) Bread rounders.

Rules are similar to 'normal' rounders. However, the ball is made from a slice of bread, suitably compressed. New balls may be required as the game progresses. Also, the size of the pitch should be vastly reduced - the posts should be no more than 3 metres apart. This sport should only be undertaken indoors, with as much furniture around the edge of the room to achieve maximum comic effect.


3) Bread quoits.

As normal quoits, except the quoits are made from slices of bread, with circles removed from the centre.


4) Bread tennis.

This is more like a complex version of catch than real tennis. In addition to bread, you will need one small, hollow, conical object for each player. A slice of bread should be formed into a ball, and the players formed into two teams. The teams should stand opposite each other, divided by an imaginary net. During gameplay, the ball should be thrown (from the cone, no hands allowed) towards an opposing team member, who shoudl attempt to catch it in their cone. Points are awarded when the opposing team fails to catch the 'ball'. Additionally, a net call may be recorded if the umpire judges the ball to have hit the net. The height of the 'net' is left to the judges discretion, and may be inconsistent from point to point.

Any other rules are a little hazy, due to ...

Possibly not a good idea to play these anywhere near a duckpond...