h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Maori dance - A1045090
Author: Bethany - U223695

I'm new, so it's not very good, i'm afraid

Kia ora Bethany,

I don't think that this entry is (as you say) << not very good >> - but it is a bit light and its written like everything is 'history', which is a bit misleading.

Rather than << Dances were once an important feature of Maori ... >>
how about < Dance IS an important feature of Maori ... >
and << All dances were known as >>
could be < All dances ARE known as >

Maybe changing the title to 'Traditional Maori Dance' would be better - considering that contemporary Maori dance is ALSO flourishing and incorporates elements from jazz/ballet etc etc

To make it a bit more in depth, you could include some information about how (and maybe even *why*) there has been a recent upsurge in the number of people involved in 'kapa haka' groups and the

'waiata a ringa' /action songs

'waiata tawhito'/ballads - about historic events
and
karanga / traditional calls performed by women

all of which are (often) involved in a kapa haka performances



Kia Kaha

six7s

I entered "kapa haka" into http://www.google.com/advanced_search and found

http://waiata.maori.org.nz/
http://waiata.maori.org.nz/haka/index.htm

which might be useful

also
http://www.creativenz.govt.nz/venice-2001/ngaitahu/ngaitahu-story.html

For Maori, the indigenous people of New Zealand, kapa haka is an integral part of their lives and a traditional way of preserving the knowledge of tribal history and genealogy through song and dance.

Hi Bethany!

I was hoping for a bit *more*. I'm sorry I don't know *what* I'm looking for, but more substance I reckon wouldn't go amiss.

I like what you've got, but perhaps a bit more description?


- Jimi X

Looks like Bethany hasn't posted since last week, shortly after registering.

I think this could be a very promising entry, given a bit more work. Have a look at the Writing-Guidelines for inspiration, Bethany.

The links are great, Six7s!!

I sort of forgot my password, so I registered under peculiar aunt instead. I decided not to bother improving maori dance because I think someone else could do it better. I moved onto the History of the Post instead, which seems a far better subject. I might start working on Maori Dance again now, though.

Glad you found your way back to your old ID


Scout

So Bethany, do you intend to keep working on this, or not? If not, can I ask you to remove it from Peer Review please? You can do this by clicking the x next the entry in the Peer Review list, if you're using the default skin Brunel. IF not, you can click the remove link on the enrty itself.

Bethany has left the building...

Propose a move to the Flea Market.

Seconded