h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Sits on bonnet of batterd grey ford.

Doesn't look like much, but I've rigged it out with tonnes of stuff I saw on back to the future...


*opens driver's door*

By the war I should warn you... it really isn't bigger on the inside...

*gets in.*


*rolls down window and sticks head out*

Well, come on, get in!

*gets in*

*gets in the back*

*goes back in time, alters build of the car and its place in space time and makes it extradimensionally 10 times larger*

note: on the inside only, same size from outside.
and it can transform.

hmmm... hope that doesnt muck up the location device - when I was modifying the car I found I couldn't make it bigger on the inside as it interfeared with the coil...

Anyhow, all ready? All in? Right....


*takes keys out pockets and sticks them in ignition.*

*turns them*

- rattle rattle, thunk -

*sighs*

*turns ignition again*

- rattle rattle, thunk ping hiss -

damn...

*gets out and upens bonnet.*

*the smoke clears*


*Under the bonnet there is an engine. Connected to the engine are a number of generators, coils and batteries, along with transformers and recurant time/power circuits. The extra generator for the interior enlarger is one too many for the clapped out engine...*

Looks like we'll have ot have a cramped ride unless...


You guys wouldn't want to get out and push? I just need to get things turning over...


I'll disingage the time-drive, when the engine gets going, you can all jump back in...

No you need one of the new brands of hourglasses, it feeds on static electricity and the heat from friction. That way making it bigger increases the timedrive thingies capabilities.
After you put one of thse in the interior enlarger has plenty of spare power.

right...


get on wid it!

Well, if your think the society can affoard it, you are suffering under a delusion. Come on guys, once the generators are going just a little bit the load lightens on the engine immensly, as the generators feed a special electronic system that creates power and feeds it to electric motors which helpt the petrol one. We just need to get moving. It isn't that heavy, just give it a shove.

*turns starter key whilst everyone pushes*

The car is gathering momentum as the h2g2 society of Time Travellers push it through the streets of The City... without the help of the knights who I did ask...


- whir whir whir ping chug chug grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrm -


*The engine is turning over, the generators are online and what is more, there's a load of free space inside.*

OK, jump in and I'll engave the Time Drive...

*jumps in*

Where are we going first?

Oh no, they've gone already! I'm too late!

Now to think of a plan...

Aha! I shall use my... time-space multi-alter-dimensional elevator!

*goes back into the building and presses the "emergency dimensional shift" button inside the elevator and goes back in time in order to get in the car before it leaves, therefore being able to join in the quest to find the watch which is of great sentimental and temporal value*

*gets in car*

So, when are we headed?

I dunno... the car's just goin' along... drivin' away to yesterday...

I think we should go to one minute before the watch is misplaced, and prevent it from being dropped.

But wait a minute... if the watch was dropped and vanished to another time, then it would not exist in any time except the one it was in. Therefore, the watch would not be there if we went to one minute before when it was dropped.

I'm confused...

Just get in the car, Deus...


Right, all present and correct? All Future and Correct? Right, let's see about the Past...


*Starts driving down the Knights of H2g2 main street"

*car is travelling faster... speedo at 80 mph... 90 mph... 95mph... the body-work is rattling, the exhaust slips in it's string cradel at the back and scrapes the ground... Time Traveller pulls a large wooden leaver that occupants of the car notice (to their slight distress) is in place of the brake. A generator thuds onto the engine spokes and the car is 2D. Now it's 50D. Now it's travelling through a tunnel... Time Traveller's face is lit up by the occasional flash of lightening. Pedal to the floor, engine roar, hands grip stearing wheel...*

*In the back the other members of the society have discovered the minni-bar...*

The watch could be in any time, but it will have left traces right across the temporal spectrum. The question is where to start...


*presses button marked "random location" it lights up. Presses button marked "random time" it lights up. Smoke seeps through the front from under the dashboard.*


Guys, could you hand me something from the minni-bar please? A Guiness would be welcome...

oo! a minibar!!!!!



We can't *stop* the watch from being dropped because then it would never have been dropped and therefore we never would have gone looking for it and would have never stopped the watch from being dropped. The classic temporal paradox.

*Guinesses for all*

*holds on tight*