Untitiled
Created | Updated Mar 29, 2004
The first step to clearing out the muck is to divide and conquer!
Do something about the things you can and leave the rest.
Change what you cannot accept, and accept what you cannot change.
***********
(1)Don't Avoid situations, hoping they will change if you wait long enough.
It is a decision not to act.
It is a big wall in your way to think it is not.
*************
(2)Don't Put off routine or menial tasks.
These add up and suddenly you never have enough time.
If it's guaranteed to appear again, seriously try a schedule.
While your at it try to schedule some open time for catching up on lose ends. There are always extras and things always have extra steps or trips.
Be realistic about what times to give up for chores.
In general terms you could ask yourself;
Are the hours after work or the weekend "free time."
Which is easier to think about giving up?
Keeping "home work" on work days frees up larger blocks of time on off days or weekends. This gived room for more possibilities, and impromptu events.
Hints;
Always assume things will take longer than they ought to.
This will save a lot of grief allowing for time to move through minor changes.
Have something to do while waiting so you do not feel you are wasting time.
This is not meant to be a pessimistic attitude but a realistic one. Easing up on impossible expectations lightens stress levels.
When things go smooth they are a gift, extra breathing room.
************
(3) Don't Stay in a position after it has either ceased to be a challenge towards growth or if you're miserable.
This builds resentment, loss of patience and blame.
All that creating more problems.
A bad attitude can be contagious to the local surroundings and family attracting new problems like a magnet.
Once you are fed up you are more likely to burn the bridges behind you. It is nice to leave bridges intact as valuable contacts and networks. Know when it's time to leave, go out on top wherever possible.
The more depressed a person gest the harder it is to imagine a way out. Feeling trapped leaves people without the energy to answer when opportunity knocks. You have to be awake to recognize opportunity and answer the call.
It is impssible to see the dragon once it has swallowed you so do not let it.
***************
(4)Knowing your options is important.
This keeps you from feeling trapped.
Even when you "think" you do not have options more than likely you do. You have probably ruled some out already.
It is very empowering to count all the options not just the appealing ones. You may dismisses some and rightfully so, but they are options!
When you mindlessly tay with something too long you risk running on auto-pilot which encourages stagnation. Although nothing is stagnant it sure can feel that way.
People are always spiraling upward or downward however slowly.
It is a good thing to keep in mind.
It will help recognize the strat of a spiral down so you can do something proactive before losing more ground.
**************
(5)Be open to change.
Fear of change and risk is a paralyzing setup.
In general a major change within 2 years takes a step towards that direction today.
A habit takes about 2 weeks to form.
Two weeks to make one 6 weeks to break one.
The world will change with or without you.
You might as well aim in a desired direction. It's inspiring and motivating once you take the first step. Doors begin to open and fresh air blows through. With a new focus you recognize what you need when it comes along.
In 20 years you are going to be 20 years older no matter what so think about where you would like to be and aim. This can be a helpful view when considering undertaking a long project or many years of schooling.
****************
(6)Do not willingly & frequently endure sickness or accidents when faced with an unpleasant task.
The preoccupation with the unpleasant can increase and prolong the unpleasantness. It takes a lot of energy to supress,downplay or ignore a problem. Usually more than it takes to tackle it!
To marinate in it only makes you stew.
The preoccupation can cause accidents because you are not living in the moment. It's easier to see the rock on your path if you are looking at the path ahead and straight on.
************
(7)Don't delay doing things or do them so badly someone else takes over or redoes it. his is nt responsible behavior.
This is often the case for a person whom plays helpless.
The feme fatal waiting for a male rescuer.
The incompetent husband at laundry, changing diapers, watching the kids.
The incompetent employee when distasteful tasks present.
On the flip side to be a perfectionist about things will mean eventually you will have no help. If it is never right enough people figure why bother and don't so stop criticizing.
***********
(8)Don't Avoid confrontation when you have a legitimate grievance or just cause.
This will build resentment.
You'll have to bury parts of yourself, they may die!
Whenever you shut one part of yourself off you lose pieces and parts you did not count on. Guaranteed to be some of the good ones! The more you do this the faster you will disappear from the radar screen.
Learning to say no is vital to thriving.
If you cannot do that without getting defensive, brutal, angry or repeatedly getting bad results, you more than likely have a problem in this area.
Understand these things;
You have needs.
You deserve to have needs.
You deserve to seek them.
Nobody can read your mind.
Start practicing.
Be your own best friend and give them to yourself where possible. Ask when all you need is a bit of help or reinforcement. It is a waste to be upset about not getting something you never asked for.
Sloppy communication such as mind reading is not helpful. When you know you can have clear communication it is also easier to begin and to trust.
************
(9)Don't Blame outside forces for lack of success or happiness.
This will get you now where.
If you keep score-you'll always be losing so do not even try to compare.
Worrying about being taken advantage makes you preoccupied.
You are wasting precious time if reflecting on past slights or the future trip ups. Living in the precious present is much better.
Its negative energy and thought or worry the unknown. It will more than likely beget more of the same. The spiral starts again...
You are responsible for seeking your own happiness.
It is never another found in another person.
It is too big to ask of anyone else or to give it all.
To share all with another is quite a gift -to be all is a curse.
*************
(10)Don't Refuse to get help or go for checkups.
You must care for yourself to care for others.
No one else can do this for you. Others who love you will worry. If you love them ,give them the peace of mind. Wanting it for yourself is ideal of course.
Denial and delay never made anything appear or disappear. With all the new advances in medicine health lies in prevention and self care. Avoiding illness and catching any problems early are the 2 best forms of insurance. Once you have a problem there are not as many modern medical options as you might think.
You have a lot more freedoms and choices with good health.
**************
(11)Don't Repeatedly use the excuse "it's boring" to avoid full participation in a job or project.
No, it is not boring.
You are probably boring or in the wrong place for the wrong reason.
Anytime you find yourself bored, consider it a temporary personal problem. If you find it happens a lot it may be a character problem.
If you bore yourself when alone there is a good chance you'll bore others!
Another possibility when claiming boredom is ignorance. Do not be afraid to ask questions and admit you do not know something. People often love teaching. Many people enjoy sharing what they know.
************
(12)Refusing to make a plan of action to achieve goals.
This assures failure.
Some convince themselves it avoids failure. That is denial.
One the biggest reasons for failure in the long run is not pursuing things in the short run, the precious present.
Perfectionism is the key ingredient to not wanting to start.
If you want it to be perfect you are more likely to procrastinate.
If you procrastinate long enough you may be paralyzed with fear or guilt.
Once you are paralyzed a vicious downward spiral or circle has started.
The 3 P's
Perfectionism
Procrastination
Paralyzation
****************************************************
Stop Shouding all over yourself.
*******
Stop shuddd'n all over yourself and others will too!
You'll have a whole lot more energy to stop procrastinating and start doing.
If you are not the star in your own play you are following everyones elses direction, not your own. You will be the supporting character all your life which is good in moderate doses balanced with others. You are unique and have only one chance to show it. Be the director of your own production where possible. Start finding out what you want, do less of what everyone else thinks you should want.
Do something about the things you can and leave the rest.
Change what you cannot accept, and accept what you cannot change.
***********
(1)Don't Avoid situations, hoping they will change if you wait long enough.
It is a decision not to act.
It is a big wall in your way to think it is not.
*************
(2)Don't Put off routine or menial tasks.
These add up and suddenly you never have enough time.
If it's guaranteed to appear again, seriously try a schedule.
While your at it try to schedule some open time for catching up on lose ends. There are always extras and things always have extra steps or trips.
Be realistic about what times to give up for chores.
In general terms you could ask yourself;
Are the hours after work or the weekend "free time."
Which is easier to think about giving up?
Keeping "home work" on work days frees up larger blocks of time on off days or weekends. This gived room for more possibilities, and impromptu events.
Hints;
Always assume things will take longer than they ought to.
This will save a lot of grief allowing for time to move through minor changes.
Have something to do while waiting so you do not feel you are wasting time.
This is not meant to be a pessimistic attitude but a realistic one. Easing up on impossible expectations lightens stress levels.
When things go smooth they are a gift, extra breathing room.
************
(3) Don't Stay in a position after it has either ceased to be a challenge towards growth or if you're miserable.
This builds resentment, loss of patience and blame.
All that creating more problems.
A bad attitude can be contagious to the local surroundings and family attracting new problems like a magnet.
Once you are fed up you are more likely to burn the bridges behind you. It is nice to leave bridges intact as valuable contacts and networks. Know when it's time to leave, go out on top wherever possible.
The more depressed a person gest the harder it is to imagine a way out. Feeling trapped leaves people without the energy to answer when opportunity knocks. You have to be awake to recognize opportunity and answer the call.
It is impssible to see the dragon once it has swallowed you so do not let it.
***************
(4)Knowing your options is important.
This keeps you from feeling trapped.
Even when you "think" you do not have options more than likely you do. You have probably ruled some out already.
It is very empowering to count all the options not just the appealing ones. You may dismisses some and rightfully so, but they are options!
When you mindlessly tay with something too long you risk running on auto-pilot which encourages stagnation. Although nothing is stagnant it sure can feel that way.
People are always spiraling upward or downward however slowly.
It is a good thing to keep in mind.
It will help recognize the strat of a spiral down so you can do something proactive before losing more ground.
**************
(5)Be open to change.
Fear of change and risk is a paralyzing setup.
In general a major change within 2 years takes a step towards that direction today.
A habit takes about 2 weeks to form.
Two weeks to make one 6 weeks to break one.
The world will change with or without you.
You might as well aim in a desired direction. It's inspiring and motivating once you take the first step. Doors begin to open and fresh air blows through. With a new focus you recognize what you need when it comes along.
In 20 years you are going to be 20 years older no matter what so think about where you would like to be and aim. This can be a helpful view when considering undertaking a long project or many years of schooling.
****************
(6)Do not willingly & frequently endure sickness or accidents when faced with an unpleasant task.
The preoccupation with the unpleasant can increase and prolong the unpleasantness. It takes a lot of energy to supress,downplay or ignore a problem. Usually more than it takes to tackle it!
To marinate in it only makes you stew.
The preoccupation can cause accidents because you are not living in the moment. It's easier to see the rock on your path if you are looking at the path ahead and straight on.
************
(7)Don't delay doing things or do them so badly someone else takes over or redoes it. his is nt responsible behavior.
This is often the case for a person whom plays helpless.
The feme fatal waiting for a male rescuer.
The incompetent husband at laundry, changing diapers, watching the kids.
The incompetent employee when distasteful tasks present.
On the flip side to be a perfectionist about things will mean eventually you will have no help. If it is never right enough people figure why bother and don't so stop criticizing.
***********
(8)Don't Avoid confrontation when you have a legitimate grievance or just cause.
This will build resentment.
You'll have to bury parts of yourself, they may die!
Whenever you shut one part of yourself off you lose pieces and parts you did not count on. Guaranteed to be some of the good ones! The more you do this the faster you will disappear from the radar screen.
Learning to say no is vital to thriving.
If you cannot do that without getting defensive, brutal, angry or repeatedly getting bad results, you more than likely have a problem in this area.
Understand these things;
You have needs.
You deserve to have needs.
You deserve to seek them.
Nobody can read your mind.
Start practicing.
Be your own best friend and give them to yourself where possible. Ask when all you need is a bit of help or reinforcement. It is a waste to be upset about not getting something you never asked for.
Sloppy communication such as mind reading is not helpful. When you know you can have clear communication it is also easier to begin and to trust.
************
(9)Don't Blame outside forces for lack of success or happiness.
This will get you now where.
If you keep score-you'll always be losing so do not even try to compare.
Worrying about being taken advantage makes you preoccupied.
You are wasting precious time if reflecting on past slights or the future trip ups. Living in the precious present is much better.
Its negative energy and thought or worry the unknown. It will more than likely beget more of the same. The spiral starts again...
You are responsible for seeking your own happiness.
It is never another found in another person.
It is too big to ask of anyone else or to give it all.
To share all with another is quite a gift -to be all is a curse.
*************
(10)Don't Refuse to get help or go for checkups.
You must care for yourself to care for others.
No one else can do this for you. Others who love you will worry. If you love them ,give them the peace of mind. Wanting it for yourself is ideal of course.
Denial and delay never made anything appear or disappear. With all the new advances in medicine health lies in prevention and self care. Avoiding illness and catching any problems early are the 2 best forms of insurance. Once you have a problem there are not as many modern medical options as you might think.
You have a lot more freedoms and choices with good health.
**************
(11)Don't Repeatedly use the excuse "it's boring" to avoid full participation in a job or project.
No, it is not boring.
You are probably boring or in the wrong place for the wrong reason.
Anytime you find yourself bored, consider it a temporary personal problem. If you find it happens a lot it may be a character problem.
If you bore yourself when alone there is a good chance you'll bore others!
Another possibility when claiming boredom is ignorance. Do not be afraid to ask questions and admit you do not know something. People often love teaching. Many people enjoy sharing what they know.
************
(12)Refusing to make a plan of action to achieve goals.
This assures failure.
Some convince themselves it avoids failure. That is denial.
One the biggest reasons for failure in the long run is not pursuing things in the short run, the precious present.
Perfectionism is the key ingredient to not wanting to start.
If you want it to be perfect you are more likely to procrastinate.
If you procrastinate long enough you may be paralyzed with fear or guilt.
Once you are paralyzed a vicious downward spiral or circle has started.
The 3 P's
Perfectionism
Procrastination
Paralyzation
****************************************************
Stop Shouding all over yourself.
*******
Stop shuddd'n all over yourself and others will too!
You'll have a whole lot more energy to stop procrastinating and start doing.
If you are not the star in your own play you are following everyones elses direction, not your own. You will be the supporting character all your life which is good in moderate doses balanced with others. You are unique and have only one chance to show it. Be the director of your own production where possible. Start finding out what you want, do less of what everyone else thinks you should want.
