h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A room with blue carpeting and hospitable accomidationary things. Like a bad and a table and a couch and things. Yes.

*Walks into the lovely room and is startled at how big it is! Takes out a bras pipe, presses a hidden button on it and it lengthens to 6 feet long. HDS touches it perpendiculaly to the thick carpet. Out of the side springs a big blue and silver flag that denotes the House of Gil-Galad*

I claim this room for the Empire!

*Stand there looking important, then presses the hidden button again and the flag pops back into the pipe and it shortens up again.*

The room is large, startling large, mind bogglingly large, if you were to stand at one end and look for the back wall with binoculars, you wouldn’t find it because of how insanely head achingly large it is! The carpet is very thick, so thick one could perform gymnastics on it without getting hurt from a heavy fall it is also blue, a lovely deep blue, the same blue as on the banner that now hangs from the carpeted brass and glass stair that faces the door.

After the staircase is a bathroom, several guest rooms, the kitchenette (run by house elves) and the dining room. On the second floor is His Divine Shadow’s room, a Star Gate that travels to His Divine Shadow’s other room in Jade’s Beach House, another bath room, a laundry room, a billiard’s room with a mini bar, and a rec room. All with deep blue carpeting, lighter blue walls and ceilings and silver chandeliers. All with pretty elvish pictures and potted plants and pretty silver designs inlayed into the walls.

*a bingley-beep sort of noise at the front left corner of the room (nearer the door) emits from a sleek silver unit in the wall. A pleasant female voice announces (in perfect Quenya) that HDS has mail*


That's exactly what i thought it should look like! Good show! This has earned you a visit from Marvin. Expect him directly.
kisses!
-J


*the door to the Blue room slides open with a self-satisfied hum, and a very unhappy-looking robot trudges in*

Marvin: Oh God I'm so depressed...

I'm in too good a mood for that thrice damned robot to ruin it!

*Shoots Marvin with an ion cannon, which shuts off all his circuits and renders nought more than a half ton paper weight. HDS shoves the droid out into the hall and one of his helpful house elves aparates Martin into the garbage recycler. HDS dusts his hands off*

That was pleasent.

*walks up the stairs into the billiards room and plays a game of nine ball using his telekinesis and the pool que*

Marvin: *muffled from the recycler* God I'm so depressed...

(and on a completely unrelated note)

*Jade walks up to HDS's door and knocks*

*The trash compactor starts to compact Martin*

Come in

*The door slides open*

*after a week of standing in front of the door, Jade finally walks in.*

So, how are you liking your room then?

* quite like it. The House Elves like it too.

...You keep house elves?

Do you pay them...? *arches her left eyebrow*

Only the few that actually want pay. The rest get to do what ever they want in their spare time

I see.


Well, just so as you know, I won;t have you mistreating them, at least not on my ship. I don't hold well with slave labour.

anytime I'm away you can go ahead and ask them all you want. They'll tell you anything that they haven't been sworn to secrecy about