h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I just don't know what to do. i am in a situation i want to escape from, but feel if i express this, it will only make things worse. I am reacting in true "Survivors style" & have been told this in no uncertain terms:

"You just see things in black & white, one minute i am an angel, the next i am the devil."

True.Dear old dichotamous thought patterns again.

But if I truly feel that someone I trusted has betrayed that trust, cruelly, surely i am entitled to react with hurt & suspicion, followed closely by anger & fear? Obviously not. Apparently this is construed as "sulking" God, what a bloody crime.

The thought of having to continue to put on an Oscar Award performance for another 24 hrs is apalling. Thank god for the language barrier at times.

Anyone who knows my mobile number, please ring, i will talk coded gibberish,but can use it as an excuse to go.

Yes, i may well be over-reacting, there almost certainly isn't any actual danger, but i feel uncomfortable & want out right now. But if i just up & go, it would make things worse i am pretty sure. I would no doubt regret it, plus confirm the theory that i am both over-reacting & sulking.

Can't use MSN from here, can only send brief emails.If i could actually talk to someone, preferably psychocandy, i might well be persuaded that i am just over reacting; but it's not something i can discuss on here, sorry.

I do realise this is MY fault, i do realise, as someone kindly pointed out to me earlier, that other people have problems too. I am sorry. i do my best to help when i can; i really do.



zdt

Terri, I will ring you on your mobile staright away!

Terri, I really hope Psychocandy is speaking to you right now!!

Anyways I can't phone, but I can respond a bit by email if you want. I can at least *try* to be here for you in some way.

You can feel hurt, disappointed, angry and afraid, certainly! You're just human ... who the hell of us isn't??

I did get hold of Terri on her mobile. Under the circumstances, I think her reaction was warranted and well-justified. Sometimes we need reassurance that we aren't "over-reacting", as we survivors are prone to doing.

Anyway, I am glad that Terri knew she could phone me when she needed to talk. The same thing goes for all of my friends here.

hi Terri, I hope you feel better about things now you have had chance to speak to psychocandy.

I'm going to check back with her a bit later and make sure things are as they were when we rang off earlier this morning. She's in no imminent danger, there was no threat of physical harm or anything like that, her psychotic neighbor's not on her case or anything. But I don't like seeing her, or anyone I love and care for, hurt. That goes for all of you!

Sometimes I really do wish for the desert island commune idea, put all of us together in one place where we can each do our respective "thing", yet still be close enough to touch when the need arises. But hey, my friends here touch me on the inside in ways that most people within physical reach have never done.

Thanks for telling us psychocandy! Terri, when you're back here, let us know how you're doing!

I'm here, Im OK, I'm (as sure as anyone can ever be) not in physical danger, BUT did feel that i needed to escape, but was paralysed with fear about what would happen if I expressed this.

We are, as is usual in these situations, dealing with two survivors attempting to work through their problems, both alone, & now together (ish?!?) It is a hell of a steep learning curve & involves an enormous amount of trust; difficult to give, difficult to recieve; At times, it seems impossible, scary, horrible, cruel.

I do wonder if it's worth it, i am sure he does too. I understand emotional cruelty, I had a bloody good teacher. i am pretty good at using it myself unfortunately; it seems to be a side effect of "Survivor syndrome" But being on the recieving end cuts through the tough skin i have tried so hard to build up & hurts, hurts, hurts.i can be cruel, but not this cruel.

PC, what can i say? You were there for me, only YOU know how much that meant. Because of you phoning me, i didn't crack;& possibly, he has slightly more insight than he had. Phoning later would be great if you can. Did you phone abbi?

*resists urge, then gives into it*

Silly little twat! Next time, i shall just say "ta very much, mate, wish you were here?"*private joke for PC*

Terri

(WHO is in charge of finding these islands eh????)

I didn't phone Abbi, I was a bit apprehensive about doing so because I know she's had a lot of pain lately and I didn't want to disturb her if she was resting. I did send her an email, though.

I could phone you a little later, perhaps around 5:30 or 6:00-ish my time, 12:30 or 1:00-ish yours, if that's not too late. I can't tell when, if ever, you actually sleep, my dear fellow hopeless insomniac.

Glad I could be there for you, it meant a lot to me that you knew you could call me when you needed to talk to someone who wasn't directly involved. Any time, though I'm not always at home, or awake. It is definitely good that you didn't crack and were able to work your head around things before trying to deal with them.

*laughs at Terri's little private joke* I can laugh because I have experienced the same thing myself, we've spoken of it before, and the reaction was QUITE different. It just goes to show how, although we survivors may well be "damaged" in similar ways, our perspectives and reactions, and our feelings about things, will be very very different in a given situation.

*digs out Atlas to search for habitable desert islands*

severaltimes!

OK, it's 12pm(midnight) here, the Sean Connery idiot thriller copmovie just finished,no doubt beddy-byes is next. Mobile will be by my side, do phone, i will scuttle into the kitchen as before, what the hell!

(Dunno how to switch it off anyway, so he will have to put up with it; doubt you will be interupting earth-moving!)*hunts for bulldozer*

zdt

Earth moving, eh? Terri, the Human Backhoe!

I will ring within the half hour, we can talk for a bit before I send you off for bed.

I am so blessed to have the great cheap long-distance deal I've got. I told you how I got it? I called my long-distance company after 15 years to terminate service, explaining that their domestic rates were great but their international ones weren't so great, and I'd been using calling cards. They looked at my call logs, assessed the situation, and worked out a mutually agreeable deal- they switched my domestic rate for my international one! Sometimes, all you need to do is ask...

Anyway I am very lucky to have this deal, because it seems that a lot of my friends here don't have such options, and I'd hate not talking to you lot because we can't afford it! I have the ability, at least for 8 months of the year, to be able to pay a long-distance phone bill. Although I'm still relying mostly on h2, cheap rates or no, I can't be on the phone all day every day or I'd have to take a second mortgage on my soul!

Hi all.i have just been reading the postings on this thread.I hope no-one minds.I hope terri is okay now..It struck me that ,when someone is going through a crisis,others know exactly what to say,or do, for them, to make things better,and put things more in perspective...yet when the other is going through a crisis ,we cant do it for ourselves.(does that make sense to anyone but me)???
i can be having a bad time,but if a friend calls and is in the same position,i can talk to them until the thoughts ,feelings ,panic ,has eased.So why can't i look in the mirror ,and tell myself what i would tell them.........and make things easier!!!!
Its a strange old world,isn't it.xxxx

It certainly is! i know exactly what you mean. talking to PC really DId help, did put things into perspective....& we had a damn good laugh in the process, which always helps!

gotta squeak soon

zdt