Tom Green Chronicles Mark II
Created | Updated Mar 26, 2003
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Jade: ...What do you want?
Stomper: A little more caution from you. That is no trinket you carry.
Jade: I'm not carrying anything.
Stomper: Indeed... *douses candles* I can avoid being seen if I wish, but to disappear
entirely... *hood comes off* that is a rare gift.
Jade: Firefly? What the are you doing here?
Firefly: Are you frightened?
Jade: Yes.
Firefly: Not nearly frightened enough. I know what hunts you.
Jade: Why are you talking all archaically?
Firefly: Because it's in the script. *puts a finger to his lips* Shh.
*noises are heard behind the door, the door bursts open and Firefly unsheathes sword*
Seraphine: Let her go! Or I'll have you, Longshanks.
Firefly: *sighs, sheaths sword* You have a stout heart. But that will not save you.
Segue: Hey, isn't that that guy you're dating?
Jade: Seems like it...
Firefly: You can't wait for James any longer, Jade. They're coming.
Link: *reaches for Firefly's sword* Oooh, shine get…
Firefly: Oi, back off the merchandise..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Officer Jenny is still in her little shack by the gate. She is aroused by a noise and gets up to investigate, only to be run down by three riders on really big and angry looking Ponyta(s)*
Jenny: *flattened out on the ground* Ow…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Riders run in, shine ge—I mean, swords drawn*
Yoda: *hobbles out from behind the counter on his staff* Go further, you will not.
Rider1: THIS SHOULD PROVE INTERESTING…
Rider2: Would you have a look at that. A little green man with an ickle stick thinks he's going to stop us.
Rider3: *indicates her sword* He makes a valid point. I really don't think you'd want us to have to run you in or anything...
Yoda: *tosses staff aside, reaches under his robe, takes out his tiny Lightsaber, ignites it* Out of my Inn, you will get.
Rider2: Oi there, 'ee's got one of those newfangled shiny sword thingies...
Rider1:INDEED HE DOES. PERHAPS YOU HAD BETTER BACK UP A BIT…
*shoulders scythe, backs off a few paces*
Rider3: You do know it's futile to try to talk him out of this sort of thing...
Rider1: WELL YES, BUT I THOUGHT I WOULD HAVE A GO AT THE VERY LEAST.
Rider2: *walks up to Yoda* So we want to have a little fight then, do we? We want to have a bit of a rage?
Rider3: I just don't get it... I mean, it isn't even as if he's, well... me, or anything.
Rider1: I KNOW, WAR. BUT YOU KNOW HOW CRANKY HE GETS WHEN HE'S
HUNGRY.
War: I told him to eat something before we left. He never listens to me.
Death: HE HASN'T HAD HIS MEDICINE EITHER.
War: Well doesn't that just figure...
Famine: Bring it on, green boy...
Yoda: *rushes forward, launches himself into the air and chops Famine's sword into three shining pieces with fall off and melt on the floor*
Famine: Well dun that just beat all?
Yoda: *jumps up again, artfully slices Famine’s right arm off*
Famine: That all you got?
Yoda: *raises an eyebrow* Defeated you, I have. On the floor, you arm is. Stop, you should.
Famine: It's only a flesh wound… Come on!
Yoda: *hacks off Famine's left leg* Okay, stop now, we should.
Famine: Awww, come on... bring it! *hopping madly on his one leg*
Yoda: *jumps up and slices off Famine's left arm*
Famine: Whee! I'm still in! Bring it, lime sherbet dude!
Yoda: Insane, you are. *flicks his wrists ever so slightly and hacks off Famine's left leg, goes to walk away*
Famine: Oi, where are you going? We're not done yet!
Yoda: Do what to me, will you? To death, will you beat me, with your torso? *picks up his staff with the Force and walks away*
Famine: What's his problem…?
Death: METHINKS THE JEDI MASTER BE ANGERED BY THE IDIOCY OF OUR
COMPANION.
War: *snickers*
Famine: I really wish you wouldn't speak in riddles...
Death: I WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT THAT SORT OF THING WAS IN
MY JOB DESCRIPTION.
War: Did you just say 'that' twice?
Death: IT WOULD SEEM SO.
War: Did you know that every time you do something like that it underlines it in red in the word document?
Death: I WAS NOT PREVIOUSLY AWARE OF THAT.
War: Well now you are. Don't do it again.
Death: *if he had them, I would assume that he would be raising an eyebrow right about now*
ERM… RIGHT THEN.
War: *grins smugly*
Famine: You know, I seem to be sitting in a lot of blood right now.
War: Imagine that…
Death: OH RIGHT... I HAD ALMOST FORGOTTEN. *he takes a long scythe off his shoulder and brings it in a downward sweep toward Famine's neck*
Famine: Oh bloody ...
Death: SORRY OLD CHAP. NO HARD FEELINGS, RIGHT?
Famine: *as a ghost* Well that's the end of world hunger then, I suppose?
War: It would seem that way.
Famine: *still a ghost* Well .
Death: INDEED. BE THAT AS IT MAY, YOU REALLY OUGHT TO BE GOING NOW.
Famine: ** Yes well… *sighs* I suppose you're right. *disappears with a slight popping noise*
War: I always rather thought I'd be the one to go down fighting.
Death: NO, IF YOU WOULD HAVE FOUGHT WITH THAT GREEN GUY, YOU MOST
LIKELY WOULD HAVE WON. OR AT LEAST REALLY TIRED HIM OUT.
War: Aw, you're such a charmer.
Death: THAT IS WHAT PEOPLE TELL ME…
War: Shall we get back to business then?
Death: I SUPPOSE SO.
*exeunt*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~Fin~
Chapter fourteen coming next week! Look forward to it!
(Whoosh.)
Tom Green Chronicles Mark II
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