h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Garrulous greetings get gargantuan garlands! Gnostics go gingerly gargle garlic garnishing gibous gastropods gastronomically gestated Gaulishly. Gesticulations given gnomishly grate greatly.

;^)#

Hurrumph, hastily hatched horrendously hazardous hagiology hatches haematemesis. Heaven help him.

It.

Just Joshing. Juxtapositionally, Janet Jibed....... Joh jarses jto jthis. Ji javen't jot jhe jimagination.

Killer kangaroo kinda kids keep knowingly knicking knickers knightly

Laughing loquaciously, long lines lobotomise locution, lovely loon's loose literal lengthy lexical leviathons levitating Lettic language, largely lotsa laughs.


;^)#

Mindless mirthful mutterings make most Mormons mouths masticate mournfully. Make mine marmite matey mimes Marcel

Nooo! Not neverending noodling nefariously, nestling nothing not named N! Now no-one knows new nouns...

Oooooooo. Obviously one only operates on off-days. Ooff. O onomatopoeia is 'orrible

Please pass pronouns. Ponderous pithy pontification pays poorly, perjurable parables pertain. Perquisite payments perpetualy perplex poor persons.

;^)#

¿Que? Questions querulous quondam 'quisitor. Quite quickly quits.

Roger rings Rodney. Reports riotious ravings, rantings, reverberating round reclusive recreant Ralph's rectum.

Surely silly sayings seem supercilious. Supposedly sentient selamlik sentinels slothfully sway salaciously. Saint Simonians soniferous salicional saliently slows sonourously seemingly snoring.


;^)#

Tyrannical teetotaller types tapping typically trite typographical testaments to talentless trivia tire this tragic tipsy tinpot toad. Tintinnabulation tolls tellingly three times.

There are other factors: two stories...

The first is at a local Telecoms company - a friend of mine has been working in the building for the last six years. He still has his original hand-written laminated "Temporary" card, which does not even have his name on, simply "This is a temporary card". He is never asked to show the thing and in one three-month period eleven laptops vanished from his department alone

The second story is about one of those big entertainment parks who wanted a security system to stop people leaving and passing their tickets on to friends who could get in without paying. They went for a variation on hand geometry (which is notoriously difficult to teach people to use), and went for "Two-finger geometry". No sniggering at the back, please. Basically, the people going in had to put two fingers into a reader to check they were the person who had bought the ticket. The person who told me this story (OK, so it's apocryphal, but that doesn't mean it's _not_ gospel) said that the thresholds were set so low, that there was a >90% chance of a false accept, i.e. all you need is hands roughtly the same size, and it would let you in, but... they saved an estimated $90 million in people not trying to get in.

I guess the moral of this one is that a security system doesn't actually need to work, it just needs the appearance of working. A bit like an SEP field, if you think about it

Phil

Oh, absolutely...

We have a door with a code lock that prevents people getting into our main office area. Or it would do if it was locked (the code is only enabled after 6 or 7PM). Time after time I've seen people turn up to the door, look worried, pause for a second and then disappear again. It's incredible.

I wonder whether we could have saved money on the burglar alarm by putting big 'Biohazard' stickers on the doors?

Azimuth

> I wonder whether we could have saved money on the burglar alarm by > putting big 'Biohazard' stickers on the doors?


I'd favour radiation warning stickers - at least then you can pretend it's a Y-Fronts-free zone


We need a new smiley:
/ | \/|\/
or something like it

Phil

good gracious

Excuse me?
You revive this anciently ancient forum, jolting it from it's well deserved sleep, rocking the boats of countless researchers...
only to add the epithet 'good gracious'? Not even 'goodness gracious me'?

I beg your pardon, sir! Please, explain yourself! What is it you found in this forum that is both so good and so gracious?

Good Grief! Gentle-people grappling grammar gallantly.