This is a simple game of the sort played in the pub, at work, or whenever conversation has fallen to a lull, and which produces an alternative name for yourself and your friends. The name you get usually seems quite pleasingly accurate to yourself, and sniggeringly amusing to others. There are a few simple rules to follow before you come up with alternative monikers for yourself.

• Star Wars Name - To find out what you would be called were you a character in a Star Wars movie, simply take the first syllable of your surname (two or three letters, it's up to you), then the first syllable of your mother's maiden name. This makes your first name. Then take the first three letters of your first name, then the first three letters of the town where you were born to make your second name. Thus the Researcher of this entry would be called Bebel Matman were he to appear in Episode Three.

• Porn Name - To make the name that you should use should you ever 'enter' the porn industry, use the name of your first pet followed by the first word in the name of the street where you live or, as with Star Wars, your mother's maiden name. For example, the Researcher of this entry would be Bod London. Imagine.

• Reggae Name - Just take the name of your home town followed by the surname of the first politician you come across when you open a newspaper. 'Irie¹', says Cuckfield Letwin.

• Mobster Name - OK, here's the deal, you schmuck: take your favourite body part, follow it with your favourite Italian food. Capiche²? You better, or Lips Spaghetti will be on your ass...

As mentioned, these games only usually crop up when conversation is at a real lull, but can be handy if looking for a pseudonym for use in chatrooms and so on. If you have a little imagination, try and conjure up your own formula and share it here!