h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'll never forget the time in Dome (the restaurant, not the geometric shape) that I was stood there, unable to piss, and this guy standing next to me could see the frustration, smiled, and said 'Don't worry. It happens to the best of us some time. Just give it time, don't force it and it'll come'.

Seriously. No joke. Complete stranger.

I think there's a message in that for all of us!

I had a bizarre bashful bladder experience in a McDonalds restroom. I walked in to find a proud father assisting his son in the cubicle. I walked to the porcelin bowl and concentrated on my own efforts, only to find I couldn't go. After struggle for about half a minute, staring into space, the little kid asked his father what I was doing. His dad seemed to ignore the question - or he might have responded that I was going for a wee - but the little boy seemed fascinated with my plight. After what seemed like an age, I finally managed to relax enough to get the flow going - at which the boy exclaimed 'He's going daddy. He's going.'

Never had a fanfare before (or since!)...

The Apprentice

I'm so glad I'm a girl and get to go without an audience!