Robyn Hoodie, the Virgin Diary - Chapter 29: The End of the World As We Know It
Created | Updated Aug 24, 2024
Chapter 29: The End of the World As We Know It
The next morning failed to register for most of the Prom-going crowd, but eventually even I managed to wrestle free from the strong gravitational field that apparently formed in my mattress over the last few years. Taking a shower helped unsticking my eyelids far enough to be able to notice my sister on the other side of the kitchen table when I had a late brunch. She didn't look any better than I felt. Last night's make-up had been smeared all over the place. At least there is one advantage (most) boys have. Her brunch consisted of waffles and pancakes glued together with chocolate spread, topped with sprinkles. The glazing on my teeth pulled back in fear by just looking at that large concentration of refined sugars. I stuck to sandwiches with spicy chicken-caramba spread to open up my respiratory tract and let the oxygen help regeneration.
Tonight will be the official ceremony where we will get our diplomas and a (hopefully not too embarrassing) speech from one of the teachers in front of our families and friends.
I was impressed at how well they had managed to get the auditorium back in shape after last night's escapades. There was only a lingering smell of dead beer and the floor wasn't that sticky. Despite being quite early, we found it hard to get seats together for Mom, Dad, Robyn, our grandparents and me. The auditorium was stifling hot already. Someone's definitely going to faint before this is over.
After some extremely boring words from the Rectrix, all graduates were called up in alphabetical order to collect their paperwork and get their speech. Since we were all going to have to sit through the whole experience anyway, the order did not matter that much.
The Twins both graduated Summa Cum Laude, which was honoured with a grand display of flowers, presents and an extra round of applause. I do wonder why they never mention who graduated Summa Cum Fraude. Probably because if they knew about it, the person wouldn't graduate after all. Maybe it is an idea to create a secret society for these inventive people (if it isn't already there, which is always a thing with secret societies. Nobody will tell you)
When it was finally my turn, our Class Teacher did note in my personal speech that I had reached the pinnacle of low-margin graduation without actually failing a test and then compensating with high marks on another subject. She wished me luck in keeping up that score in my future education and work. The only other student getting close was the one who was so confident in his answers that he (after studying the distribution of points in each test) always turned in his test results once he had collected sufficient points for a pass, leaving the remaining questions open. I bow to him in respect. That is style, but would have been too much effort for me in the preparation stage.
After the ceremony and a round of drinks we could finally leave this building for the very last time. Will I miss it? Definitely not!
On the way back home, Mom asked if I already finished packing for our holiday tomorrow. After my haunted look she rephrased the question, replacing the 'finished' with 'started' and adding several exclamation marks. The answer was still a resounding 'No'.
In order to streamline the packing process, I dared ask the famous question Pippin asked in Lord of the Rings: 'Right. So where are we going?'
From the looks it might have well been the lands of Mordor, but it turned out to be a three week hike across the French Alps. We'll see how those two compare. The fact that the Twins are joining improves matters a lot. The fact that the girls are in one tent that I am not in, not so much.
Key word when packing for lightweight camping is 'lightweight'. After I got the essentials like my phone, charger, various cables, power bank, backup power bank, backpack, wireless headphones, sturdy boots, sports sandals, tent, sleeping bag, deck of cards, sleeping mat and a comfy pillow, I found that there was not much margin left for mundane things like spare clothing if I were to stay below my target weight. I hope someone else already was kind enough to add things like a first-aid kit and sunscreen. Because I refuse to cut off the handle off my toothbrush to save weight, I decided to take one each for every type of clothing except for underwear and socks (of which I took two sets. Hygiene, you know).
When I finally came down the stairs with my stuffed backpack, Dad lifted it saying: 'Good, you still have plenty of room for one of the stoves, fuel, cutlery, the first-aid kit and a four litre water bladder. Oh, and you are not going to take that extremely heavy hooded sweater with the kangaroo pocket because it makes you look like you're a pregnant gang member.'
Mom did not improve my mood when she told me I was The Chosen One for traveling to the starting point of our hike by overnight bus, because we were one person too many for our car and they wouldn't let any of the girls travel alone that way. The only plus I saw was that I could leave a day later and have the whole place to myself, though I would have preferred to be softly sandwiched between the Twins for the two-and-a-half day, 1200 km trip instead.
I now briefly wonder whether my parents will survive those three girls chattering in the back seat.
