Covid-19 Report: I Need a Doctor, or a Priest
Created | Updated Apr 5, 2020
I Need a Doctor, or a Priest
Not a well bunny this week. The day after work puts us all on home standby to keep us away from the public....
Five days ago, I must've overdone the gardening. Stiff as a board the day after, either that or I'm getting the usual March man-flu?
Four days ago, yup, man-flu! Absolutely blinding headaches and a bit of a temperature too. Better be on the safe side and keep myself away from everyone else, just in case, mind, it's only man-flu!
Three days ago, this bleedin man-flu seems to be getting worse, no appetite, can't even face a cuppa, and dozing on and off. So hot in our room but can't stop shivering! Should I even poke a toe out of the stifling duvet, uncontrollable shaking, which is not nice when your head feels like something out of a Clive Barker novel!
The wife's worried, she thinks I don't know she's downstairs, scaring herself stupid googling Corona Virus signs and symptoms, bless her, but it's only man-flu!
Two days ago, still no cough or chest difficulty, so I've definitely only got the annual man-flu. Playing havoc with my sense of smell and taste, no wonder I can't face food! In and out of sleep, jeez it's hot in here!
Yesterday I found out what a fever is, delirium too. Swung my legs over the side of the bed and spent the next ten minutes trying to work out why the carpet was suddenly at eye-level? Very weird and scared the life out of my poor wife when I told her my legs felt like ham and they wouldn't stand up for me! Never had that before with man-flu!
Last night was truly horrible. Reminded me of a scene in the movie Constantine, where a failing priest drowns in a liquor store, from the inside out. Not exactly vomiting, just gallons of demonic liquid pouring out of him onto the floor whilst he's choking.
No demons here, not a whiff of brimstone (couldn't smell it anyway!) but a really, really nasty feeling. Thank goodness it was over relatively quickly. Slept like Rosemary's baby all night.
As usual, my wife was probably right, definitely not man-flu! Been told to ring an ambulance if it gets any worse, but the NHS is only dealing with really serious cases. Don't know whether to dial 999 or 666!
Fever broke this morning, I still feel like I've been run over by a bus, but nowhere near as bad, touch wood! No cough, temperature still high, but not off the charts, so who knows….maybe it was just man-flu (or I'm possessed?)
If I've had a 'mild' covid case, I truly pity those who need hospital treatment, thoughts and prayers to all those affected.
Stay at home, stay away from each other, stay safe. Play games, watch TV, read the Post, wash those hands, just don't be tempted into thinking you're invulnerable, no one is!
