A Conversation for 'Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back' - the Film

Edited Guide Writing Workshop: A87965860 - 'Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back' - the Film

Post 1

Bluebottle

Entry: 'Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back' - the Film - A87965860
Author: Bluebottle - U43530

Queuing

<BB<


A87965860 - 'Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back' - the Film

Post 2

Gnomon - time to move on

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

This bromantic duo comprise of -->
This bromantic duo consist of

100 minute-long film --> 100-minute-long film

21st century --> 21st Century

a Greatest Hits approach compilation -->
a Greatest Hits compilation

to stop them hanging outside the Quick Stop -->
to stop them hanging around outside the Quick Stop

as well as illegally download and share -->
as well as to illegally download and share

In your Dramatis Personæ table, there's a rogue comma at the end of Character

Once again you have both Randal and Randall.

whose last page had read 'The End' -->
whose last page reads 'The End'

Smith notes his battles with the MPAA in order to get the rating approved that, while the film contains almost-constant sexual references, the MPAA was far more censoriously censuring of homosexual sex references than the comparative, similar heterosexual sex references
-- there's something wrong with the structure of this. You're saying:

Smith notes his battles that the MPAA was far more censuring...

I think you mean:

Smith notes that in his battles with the MPAA to get the rating approved, while the film contains almost-constant sexual references, the MPAA was far more censoriously censuring of homosexual sex references than the comparative, similar heterosexual sex references

Particularly as Jason Mewes was battling his drug addiction at the time
-- I think it would be better as:
Particularly as Jason Mewes was battling his own drug addiction at the time

He also hoped that by making a film dedicated to sex and fart jokes he would be able to enjoy being able to make an uncontroversial film free from the death threats...

-- this is a mess. Try simplifying:

He also hoped that by making a film dedicated to sex and fart jokes he would be free from the death threats...

proved not to be as uncontroversial as he had hoped
-->
proved more controversial than he had hoped

all-but completed excised -->
all but completely excised

When they finally find the right set the Bluntcave set is also a fantastic recreation -->
When they finally find the Bluntcave set, it is a fantastic recreation


smiley - smiley G


A87965860 - 'Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back' - the Film

Post 3

Bluebottle

smiley - taThanks again - all changes made. Nice and straightforward.

<BB<


A87965860 - 'Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back' - the Film

Post 4

SashaQ - happysad and 'slightly mad'

This is looking good smiley - ok

I like the introduction - puts the film into context nicely smiley - ok

" the 'what happened next' cliff-hanger" - which film was the cliff hanger in?

"After filming had finished, the film overran considerably." - what does 'overran' mean in this context?

That is fascinating about the 'so gay' comment... I presume it started as meaning 'you're such a stereotypical lesbian' but turned into 'you're so rubbish' because of the scenes being cut and because of the creeping misuse of the word 'gay'... smiley - erm

"a race of superior monkeys doomed to take over the planet" - is 'doomed' the right word, there?

"brief sequence filmed on the same beach as the original film" - the original Planet of the Apes film?

"shouting at Jay after numerous attempts to point out the blatantly obvious fail." - what is a 'fail'?

"It has since been virtually remade" - 'virtual' perhaps doesn't have the right flavour here - made me think of virtual reality... 'Essentially', or something?

Good choice of concluding paragraph, though - leads in to the next Entries well smiley - ok


A87965860 - 'Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back' - the Film

Post 5

Bluebottle

Thanks again – I'll look at your comments for 'Chasing Amy' tomorrow smiley - smiley

I have made a few changes and tweaked the sentence "shouting at Jay after numerous attempts to point out the blatantly obvious fail" to clarify that Silent Bob's attempts to point out the obvious have failed.

<BB<


A87965860 - 'Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back' - the Film

Post 6

SashaQ - happysad and 'slightly mad'

Ah smiley - eureka

smiley - ok


A87965860 - 'Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back' - the Film

Post 7

h2g2 Guide Editors

Congratulations! Your Guide Entry is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've moved this Review Conversation to the entry itself.

Thanks for contributing to the Edited Guide!


Key: Complain about this post

More Conversations for 'Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back' - the Film

Write an Entry

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."

Write an entry
Read more