h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: 'Mallrats' - the Film - A87965833
Author: Bluebottle - U43530

A standalone entry about the second film in the View Askewniverse.

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After TS inadvertently causes the death of Julie Dwyer

-- you should give TS's full name the first time you refer to him, since TS is rather an odd first name:

After TS Quint inadvertently causes the death of Julie Dwyer

lack of ambition and libido --> lack of both ambition and libido

For "belonging to TS" you have both TS' and TS's. I prefer TS's but I know others insist it should be TS'. Decide on one.

TS's ex-ex-girlfriend - does this mean she is no longer his ex and is now his girlfriend? Or do you mean she was his girlfriend long ago.

Gill Hicks, Game Show contest -- should that be contestant?

to have the main characters in their late teens, include frontal female nudity and cut out the swearing

-- this would be better if you put "to" before each of the three things he had to do:

to have the main characters in their late teens, to include frontal female nudity and to cut out the swearing.

Universal also insisted that it was impossible to make the film for less than $6 million, which when Smith said that he had made Clerks for 0.46% of that budget, he was told that had Universal bought the rights to Clerks they would have reshot and refilmed his debut film.
-- this is too long. Split it:

Universal also insisted that it was impossible to make the film for less than $6 million. When Smith said that he had made Clerks for 0.46% of that budget, he was told that had Universal bought the rights to Clerks they would have reshot and refilmed his debut film.

arranging for the Governor to visit the school -- is this the School Governor, the State Governor or what?

wanting to recast both Silent Bob and Jay, who they wanted to replace with Seth Green -- was Seth Green going to play both parts as two people or were the two roles being combined into a single character?

Smith had originally cast Joey Lauren Adams as Rene, however he was forced to give her a smaller role
-- incorrect use of 'however'. You could replace it with 'but':

Smith had originally cast Joey Lauren Adams as Rene, but he was forced to give her a smaller role

or leave it as however:

Smith had originally cast Joey Lauren Adams as Rene. He was forced to give her a smaller role, however,

Although filmed in a genuine shopping centre, the Eden Prairie Center in Minneapolis, there were a lot of vacant shops that were able to be repurposed for filming.
-- this doesn't work quite right. I think what you mean is:

Although filmed in a genuine shopping centre, the Eden Prairie Center in Minneapolis, the shops used for filming were created by repurposing vacant shops within the centre.

When the Mallrats was in post-production -->
When Mallrats was in post-production

making giving them more to do -->
giving them more to do

hair-brained --> hare-brained

Batmanlike helmet and winged-cloak -->
Batman-like helmet and winged cloak

G

Yep, I've made those changes now.

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This is looking good I just had a few questions as I read:

"After TS Quint inadvertently causes the death of Julie Dwyer1, his girlfriend Brandi Svenning agrees to appear on her father Jared Svenning's initial Blind Date knock-off television programme." - this is very dense with detail.

"After TS Quint inadvertently causes the death of Julie Dwyer, who had been due to appear in the pilot for a 'Blind Date'-style television programme1 developed by Jared Svenning, his girlfriend Brandi (daughter of Jared) agrees to appear instead." ?

How is it that she agreed to appear, but her father intentionally wanted to auction her off?

"When hiding in the bookshop, Bob is hiding" - "In the bookshop, Bob hides"?

"posters of either Marvel comics in honour of Stan Lee or posters of Universal films" - "posters of Marvel comics in honour of Stan Lee and posters of Universal films"?

"Brodie Bruce and Quint" - "Brodie, Bruce and Quint"?

"Tragically, Universal Studios' Jaws attraction has long since closed and been replaced." - oh no - that is tragic - that was a brilliant attraction...

"the momentary glimpse in the film of her topless is one of his greatest regrets as a filmmaker, however he had been contracted to include female nudity." - 'her' being Adams? The fortune teller wasn't enough?

"Jay, Silent Bob and an orangutan named Suzanne walking off into the distance together." - you could note that this 'what happens next' was played out in 'Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back'

"Yet their original marketing campaign did not quite seem to know who to target the film to." - what did it do?

"The more juvenile-delinquent Jay and Silent Bob settle the characters more, giving them more to do" - "By being depicted as juvenile delinquents, Jay and Silent Bob have more to do"?

"a much more comic book sensibility" - I see what you mean from the examples, but I'm not sure this phrase works.

"While there are several strong female characters, the film fails the Bechdel test." - you can add the link to Bechdel Test - can you say a few words about why it fails? - there are several strong female characters, but none of them speak to each other?

I like the ending

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