Road Kill
Created | Updated Jun 3, 2019
Another uplifting story from Paigetheoracle. We don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Road Kill
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| 'Oh look Dorothy, another dead rabbit!' His wife looked at him with utter contempt. 'That's the second we've seen on this stretch of road today.' 'Oh really?' (as if it was of interest to anyone but Mr Boring, 2008). 'Yes, isn't that fascinating?' ('No!' she thought to herself). 'Yes, all these miles and two together. Look!' he suddenly exclaimed 'A dead fox.' ('Well, bloody fancy that!' his wife thought to herself). 'It's obviously been there a long time, or you would have noticed it easily. Mud and dust covered in the central reservation.' ('Would you like to join it, you miserable bastard?') Married more years than she'd like to remember, in fact she'd like to forget he even existed at times like this. If she'd realised he was such an anorak, she'd have dumped him after the first date. Wally by name, Wally by nature – not like Eric, now ,there was a real man! Why hadn't she married him instead? Oh yes, because he'd beaten her up on a regular basis and Walter was on the rebound from the ropes. Round one – black eye, broken arm thanks to an argument over nothing. Eric was at least interesting, if unpredictable – a rattlesnake in rattlesnake's clothing. Walter was a different kettleof fish – in fact a cold, damp 'squid,' of a man. No life, no passion except for train numbers and, oh yes, if you could forget it, road-kill victims. 'That's the tenth magpie this month. You missed it love but you might see it in the rearview mirror, if you turn quick enough.' ('As if I want to look at another dead bird or animal!'). With that her hand reached across to the passenger door's handleand with a quick shove, he was gone out of her life forever. 'Road kill – I'll give you road kill! Now you can join your dead friends in the central reservation!' The jury, consisting of half-a-dozen people of one sex and six of the other, curiously couldn't make up its mind, if it was manslaughter or justifiable homicide. |
