Bluebottle's Blind Bat Blog
Created | Updated May 28, 2017
Bluebottle, having found his old ELIZA programme, a 1982 version of the earliest computer program which converses with people like a messenger, instead of trying to push the boundaries of artificial intelligence, continues to be immature.After the unadulterated filth that was Bluebottle's Bouncy Bouncy Buttocks Blog, I'm continuing on my pointless quest to see what happens if I bombard Monty Python phrases, particularly from the 'Nudge Nudge' sketch, at an early 1980s chatbot called ELIZA.
Like DEATH in the Discworld, ELIZA always talks in BLOCK CAPITALS while I typed in sentence case. Please find our conversation below:
HOW DO YOU DO. PLEASE TELL ME YOUR PROBLEM.
Is your wife a goer?
REALLY, MY WIFE A GOER?
Know what I mean, know what I mean, nudge nudge wink wink.
YOU SAY KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
Your wife - does she go?
WHY ARE YOU CONCERNED OVER MY WIFE?
Your wife, does she like photography?
WHAT ABOUT YOUR OWN WIFE?
Know what I mean, know what I mean, nudge nudge wink wink.
CAN YOU ELABORATE ON THAT?
A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat.
I AM NOT SURE I UNDERSTAND YOU FULLY.
Candid photography. Could be on holiday.
PLEASE GO ON.
We don't have a camera.
WHAT DOES THAT SUGGEST TO YOU?
A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat.
A NOD'S AS GOOD AS A WINK TO A BLIND BAT.
That's wicked, that is.
CAN YOU EXPAND ON THAT?
Oooof!
WHY DO YOU SAY OOOOF?
Insinuating? No no no no no no no – well, yes.
WHY NOT.
You're a man of the world, squire.
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I AM A MAN OF THE WORLD?
You've slept with a lady.
DO YOU FEEL STRONGLY ABOUT DISCUSSING SUCH THINGS?
What's it like?
I KNOW WHAT THAT SUGGESTS TO ME; NOW WHAT DOES IT SUGGEST TO YOU?
Say no more! Goodbye.
THANK YOU, THAT WILL BE $2001. HAVE A NICE DAY!
1I'm not convinced that we're getting value for money, you know…
