Bluebottle's Blind Bat Blog

1 Conversation

Bluebottle, having found his old ELIZA programme, a 1982 version of the earliest computer program which converses with people like a messenger, instead of trying to push the boundaries of artificial intelligence, continues to be immature.

After the unadulterated filth that was Bluebottle's Bouncy Bouncy Buttocks Blog, I'm continuing on my pointless quest to see what happens if I bombard Monty Python phrases, particularly from the 'Nudge Nudge' sketch, at an early 1980s chatbot called ELIZA.

Like DEATH in the Discworld, ELIZA always talks in BLOCK CAPITALS while I typed in sentence case. Please find our conversation below:

ELIZA meets Monty Python

HOW DO YOU DO. PLEASE TELL ME YOUR PROBLEM.

Is your wife a goer?

REALLY, MY WIFE A GOER?

Know what I mean, know what I mean, nudge nudge wink wink.

YOU SAY KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

Your wife - does she go?

WHY ARE YOU CONCERNED OVER MY WIFE?

Your wife, does she like photography?

WHAT ABOUT YOUR OWN WIFE?

Know what I mean, know what I mean, nudge nudge wink wink.

CAN YOU ELABORATE ON THAT?

A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat.

I AM NOT SURE I UNDERSTAND YOU FULLY.

Candid photography. Could be on holiday.

PLEASE GO ON.

We don't have a camera.

WHAT DOES THAT SUGGEST TO YOU?

A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat.

A NOD'S AS GOOD AS A WINK TO A BLIND BAT.

That's wicked, that is.

CAN YOU EXPAND ON THAT?

Oooof!

WHY DO YOU SAY OOOOF?

Insinuating? No no no no no no no – well, yes.

WHY NOT.

You're a man of the world, squire.

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I AM A MAN OF THE WORLD?

You've slept with a lady.

DO YOU FEEL STRONGLY ABOUT DISCUSSING SUCH THINGS?

What's it like?

I KNOW WHAT THAT SUGGESTS TO ME; NOW WHAT DOES IT SUGGEST TO YOU?

Say no more! Goodbye.

THANK YOU, THAT WILL BE $2001. HAVE A NICE DAY!
A reader of the h2g2 Post
The Bluebottle Archive

Bluebottle

29.05.17 Front Page

Back Issue Page

1I'm not convinced that we're getting value for money, you know…

Bookmark on your Personal Space


Conversations About This Entry

Title
Latest Post

Entry

A87889450

Infinite Improbability Drive

Infinite Improbability Drive

Read a random Edited Entry


Written by

Credits

Disclaimer

h2g2 is created by h2g2's users, who are members of the public. The views expressed are theirs and unless specifically stated are not those of the Not Panicking Ltd. Unlike Edited Entries, Entries have not been checked by an Editor. If you consider any Entry to be in breach of the site's House Rules, please register a complaint. For any other comments, please visit the Feedback page.

Write an Entry

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."

Write an entry
Read more