A Conversation for How Do You Make a Little Money Go a Long Way?
Voyager, Incontinece pants and teabags.
Chantywrassler Two pounds a month and you too can be a CNUT Started conversation Dec 30, 2002
A) Get a job as a technician working on the next Voyager probe and hide your wallet inside it. This will ensure that your money goes a very long way.
B) Buy reusable plastic incontinence pants and laugh at less thrifty people as they pay good money to enter public toilets.
C) Never buy condoms. Take up beachcombing or windsurfing and not only will you find enough to last a lifetime, but you can also sell the excess at local car boot sales.
D) Toilet paper. Use all four corners plus the centre of each sheet. Alternatively, don't use it at all. As Confucius (or was it Rik?) said, "Dirty Pants - Clean Botty".
E) Menstruation. 
1) Ladies, don't waste your time moaning about paying VAT on feminine hygiene products, demand free hysterectomies for all. 2) Rummage thru the bins outside little cafes that sell high teas, then dry out those teabags with the strings. 3) Due to complaints from the unexpectedly large number of people who were fed tomato sauce sandwiches as kids I withdraw the stale bread tip.
F) Colonic Irrigation
Ten pints of lager/guinness and a curry is equally effective at a fraction of the cost. It also gets you 
which even Harley Street practitioners don't offer as an extra. For our friends in the temperance league, drinking three pints of coffee in two hours is an adequate alternative.
G) Jacuzzi
A diet of baked bean and brussels sprouts together with a strategically placed fishtank aerating stone can save you thousands.
H) Big Issue
Don't waste money buying this. Try getting yourself evicted from your house for not paying the rent/mortgage, then get hooked on a variety of substances. Hey presto! Free copies of the Big Issue to read, and the bonus opportunity to harangue members of the public for not helping subsidise your habit.
I) Heating Bills
Flat residents, don't waste money on expensive central heating this winter. Lift your floorboards and knock a hole thru the ceiling of the flat downstairs to allow their trapped heat to escape into your living room.
J) Electricity Bills
As above but find a flat above someone with similar TV viewing preferences.
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Voyager, Incontinece pants and teabags.
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