h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

1. Take 1 or 2p to the tuck shop and buy the cheapest gumball or cola bottle or whatever it may be.

2. Find a rebellious, screaming child who won't do as he/she is told and cajole into obeyance by presenting said sweet. The relieved mum/ dad/ nanny will hopefully give you some apples from the garden as a sign of appreciation.

3. Give the apples to a hungry traveller on his way home to Heathrow. He should give you his now unneeded umbrella, which only takes up space in his backpack anyway.

4. Wait for a sudden downpour and catch a rich lady stranded outside her hairdresser's with nothing to keep her hair from being spoiled. She will be very grateful for the umbrella and will tell her hairdresser to give you a free haircut.

5. Don't have the haircut yourself, but give it to someone desparate to have their hair done with only hours to go until the party of their lives. Not only will you get paid back but you should also be entitled to any leftovers from the party (which should last you for days) and all the unopened wine.

6. Invite yourself to any known parties currently on and sell the wine for illegally high prices to the host, who will be too drunk to distinguish a L100 note from a piece of loo roll, and only too happy to purchase any form of alcohol anyway. Repeat at other parties until all the wine has gone.

7. You should now have a fair amount of money in your pockets at this point. Repeat as necessary.


Drawbacks
a) will not work if the infant already knows not to accept sweets from strangers
b) will not work if any of the above people were ungrateful gits and didn't give you anything in return
etc.


The original story is probably Chinese, but all I know is the Japanese version and there the guy starts with a fly tied to the end of a piece of straw, which attracts the attention of a bawling baby etc, and ends up becoming a rich landowner. Amazing


Cherryfish