h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

We were working with a surgeon who criticized everything we did. Our penmanship, the professional quality of our shoes/ties/lab coats, our hair, the fact that we did not shave (the men, I suppose he was referring to) in the midst of a 36 hours shift.
In one surgery with him the student's only job is to cut the sticks as he ties them. Stitck. . . he yells "CUT!". we cut. he criticizes.
Finally he yells "Cut!" and my classmate pauses looks up and says, "Do you want me to make the knot too long, too short or too slow."

Friar

Oh how true that is.... I think that the most useful thing to come out of a surgical firm is how to use a pair of scissors.....

Yeah Witty, I thought YOU'D like that one!
We had another patient during surgery who came in while I was doing a trauma service. He was really really drunk and had fallen down and passed out. The police brought him in and we had the typical room filled with people in the Trauma Bay. (This is the bit that is actually like 'ER' for people not in medical trade)
So we cut off his clothes, put blankets on top of him, start IVs, draw blood, and somebody turns to a classmate of mine and says "put in a foley". This means a foley catheter = a rubber tube that goes in the urethra (the hole in the penis) up to the bladder to drain away urine. And yes, it is unpleasant to do it, but terrible to have it done to you.

There's about 5 students 4 guys and a girl. So a male student lowers the sheet to insert the catheter and stops. He looks at us and motions for us to come over. The man's penis is truly enormous. The female student just looks at us 4 guys and just says, "I didn't think so" and walks away.

Oh - *that's* good!

Ah - (they're all flooding back now...) yet another one....

On the only medical firm I've had in this year, our all-female firm was assigned to, well, how can I put this... well, some very observant gastro medicine guys .

Let me put it this way - I'm sure I was marked on the pure fact that I had breasts...

Anyhow - much 'office-flirting' was exchanged, and it was quite fun. But with the fun comes the whole 'ah, but you see, women shouldn't do surgery/go into full-time medicine/etc/etc./ad infinitum/nauseum/etc/etc...

So it comes to our final week. I had put up with about 6 weeks of this, and although much of it had been fun, some of the more sexist overtones were starting to really get on my tits, so to speak.

(for the record, the consultants were all on the verge of retirement, so when they entered medicine, the male:female ration was very much 70:30. Now, it is very much the other way round...)

So I'm in out-patients clinic, and one of the consultants (lovely man, although with the out-dated attitude as outlined above... by his own admission might I hasten to add...), is having some issues with the computer, in an attempt to bring up some patient biochem results.

The following comes from the journal entry I wrote on that day ( F69173?thread=166108 ):

'Computers are just like women - irrational.' (Feb 10, 2002)
...which is what a consultant was telling me in a jocular fashion - not that I mind, not that I really care; it was all good natured and fun.

Well, after I redressed the balance with:

Me: Well, that's quite ironic, because I thought it was the converse.

Consultant: Really? That computers are like men - rational? How?

Me: Well, not rational as such... more in the sense that you get all excited about the new computer that you buy from the shop, but when you get it home, and get the packaging off, it's always a big disappointment.

(pause)

Me: Then, to make matters worse, six months down the line, despite all the money that you spend on upgrades and software patches in a futile attempt to improve it, there's still something wrong with it, and you're left with the sinking feeling of 'Why, oh why didn't I just trade it in for the new, improved, far more stable, far more attractive model which came out after the original date of purchase?' It would have been far more value for money.

Touché!

(cue the sound of the consultant's jaw hitting the ground, and the soft stifled from the patient)

You rock.

I beleive we have a winner. . .

But really, girls shouldn't be in medicine, do some ironing or something.

*ducks as plate flies whizzing past head*


Friar
The BigDawg

Is that anything like Madonna's "Vouge" pose
*looks appraisingly at pose*

Yup, same pose, just checking.


Friar

As I'm starting clinical placemnet in september I'm terriffied now! as I've taken a year of to *ahem* increase the number of males in my medical school by one, what on earth could a sacastic consultant make of that? Loved the stories btw

Cheers Zed

Actually, they probably wouldn't really bat an eyelid in light of your lifestyle at all - they're too busy eyeing up the nurses or the new intake of pre-reg house officers (that's another story - but not a put down, so not really one for this thread...) to notice.

Surgeons are the worst for putting you down - the first week is ropy, then you start clawing back the lost respect (whatever respect you had when you started the firm) gradually with various tart one-liners. They love it really - it makes for an entertaining firm, and they're more likely to remember you, and hence give you a house job. But if you think about it - they have to have that mentality; you have to be dogmatic when making the first cut like that, and if that bubbles over as arrogance, then, that's life.

What's your first firm going to be then - surg or med?

thanks WD, that's made me feel a lot better actually, I have a very nice senior welfar tutor who swears that they will have no way of finding out. They probably have better things to gossip about. We have combined firms now, surg and med from the same deparment, but I don't know which department it'll be becuase the office haven't done the paper work yet. I'm sure I'll deal with it anyway, I transisioned in an office of bored gossips who didn't anything better to do than gossip.