Come let's tweedle in the twoodle, Oh my Love,

For you are as twinning as a Vogon turtle dove

And I, like a Vogon captain with a space-treasure chest,

Am smart and courageous in my colourful woolly vest.

Good morrow fine Princess I shall say

Thou'rt regal and royal in thine Vogon way

And if I had my way

Thou'd be able to roll in primeval puddles like a pig in sh*t

For as long as you wish

Both night and day.

For we are Vogons and in love

And in the far galaxies,up above,

The God of Vogons sparkles and shines

Cos I am yours and you are mine.

So come, let's trip gently, hand in hand

Across the slantifying sand

To the old Dank Pond where life is grotious and sincere

And everything's ecstatically unclear

And then Let's Stick Together, slime on slime,

Till what is mine is yours and yours is mine,

We'll have an amazingly daqfulously viscous time -

And even the weather

Will be the bestest ever,

(lots of warm rain and steam like a train).

For truly we're in love, like itsy bitsy Vogon mice,

And love between Vogons, though viewed with repulsion

by every other form of life in the known universe,

is really very very frobjuicely nice...

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