A Conversation for The History of New Orleans, Louisiana, USA

Subediting Notes for "New Orleans, Louisiana - History" (A747074)

Post 1

Robert

ENTRY LINKS (subed use only): A747074U187209

Hi,
I'm your subeditor for this entry and I'll be reading the entry and checking it against the guidelines in the Subeditor help documents. I will also add/remove/change GuideML as necessary. If you have any questions, you should post them here.

This process typically takes about a week.

Cheers smiley - bubbly,
Axe


Subediting Notes for "New Orleans, Louisiana - History" (A747074)

Post 2

Robert

10/05/02:
* Subediting started
* Title changed per SubEditors-Style rules
* Changed format to GuideML
* Ran a machine spell check
* Human spelling/grammer check

To-do:
* Add links to key phrases
* Erm... not very much else!


Subediting Notes for "The History of New Orleans, Louisiana, USA" (A747074)

Post 3

Robert

10/05/02 (later on):
* Added links to key phrases

To-do:
*Possibly add headers/subheaders: what do you think?


Subediting Notes for "The History of New Orleans, Louisiana, USA" (A747074)

Post 4

cajunrefugee

Howdy Axe,

I have a few suggestions/incorporations that should be made into the document, if you don't mind.

1st para., 1st sentence: Replace "south" with "American South".

4th para., 2nd sentence: After "At the time" add a comma.

5th para., 2nd sentence: Change "living" to read "having lived".

5th para., last sentence: You reference 'field hockey.' My intention was ice hockey, but if you feel field hockey is more appropriate, then so be it.

8th para., 6th sentence: Consider deleting the word "even". In this sentence, it could suggest racial inferiority of one to another. I'm not really sure how to express this, but what I'm trying to say is that an ethnic group of mixed-African decent was held in higher esteem in Spanish Louisiana than a European descended one, and that carried over somewhat into the American South to a certain extent.

9th para., 1st sentence: Please change the sentence so that it reads as follows: "...Louisiana was no bargain, thanks to active piracy and a lack of real control over entrenched Creole society and bureaucracy."

9th para., 3rd sentence: Consider changing "control" (both uses) to "authority". I believe that's more accurate.

10th para., 2nd sentence: After "coffee", consider adding "and beignets". Chicory coffee and beignets in the French Quarter is a cultural reference to Cafe du Monde. It's a stretch, but a suggestion nonetheless.

10th para., 3rd sentence: Change "constitution" to "U.S. Constitution".

10th para., last sentence: Change "only city on Earth" to "only city of French origin". As someone rightly pointed out, San Francisco and Sydney are both cities on Earth and further research has refined this point.

11th para., 2nd sentence: Add the word "primarily" after the word "controlled".

12th para., 1st sentence: Considering changing the word "contemporary" to "post-war". This is a 'happy to glad' change, and I don't know if it makes any difference in the long run, but you might want to make it.

12th para., 3rd sentence: Add the word "state" before the word "government". Louisiana's government was no longer provisional territory, but that of full statehood.

13th para., 1st sentence: Consider changing sentence to read as follows: "...the Civil War, also known as the War of Northern Aggression." It's a flavor additive, and an American Southern cultural reference.

13th para., 2nd sentence: In the phrase "rest of the Louisiana", please delete the word "the".

13th para., last sentence: Add after the word "gains" the phrase "won during the war".

14th para., 4th sentence: Please make a capitalization so the sentence now reads "Prohibition". Prohibition in this case is a proper noun.

14th para., last sentence: Please consider changing the sentence so that it reads as follows: "...just a rumour, however well substantiated it may be."

15th para., 2nd sentence: Someone could argue that the Irish Republican Army and Sinn Fein are two separate and distinct organizations. I lumped them together for efficiency's sake and because as I understand it, Sinn Fein is the political arm of the Irish Republican Army. Can you confirm, correct and/or revise this as necessary?

15th para., last sentence: Please consider changing the sentence so that it reads as follows: "...just a rumour, however well substantiated it may be."

16th para., post last sentence: After the last sentence in the paragraph, please add the following: "At this time, beyond literary, musical and economic importance, New Orleans was also finding itself to be a major center of culture in the United States thanks to its annual celebration of Mardi Gras, the day before Ash Wednesday celebrated in Catholic calendars. Despite its Catholic echoes, Mardi Gras's modern incarnation began with the city's elite, who, in 1857, founded the celebration's first krewe, Comus. Today, Mardi Gras has over 30 krewe parades marching during the carnival season." 'Krewe' is the correct spelling.

18th para., 1st sentence: Change "New Orlean's" to "New Orleans' ".

18th para., 2nd sentence: Change "New Orlean's" to "New Orleans' ".

18th para., 5th sentence: Before "license" add the word "state".

19th para., 1st sentence: After "economics," add "thanks to Mardi Gras, sporting events and New Orleans' laissez-faire alcohol-drenched, food-smothered and jazz-omnipresent atmosphere," Or something like that, essentially I'm explaining what attracts people to New Orleans still.

These are the changes I wanted to make before it got "chosen," but never got the chance to do so. I'd appreciate it if you incorporate these comments since I can no longer to do so. Some of these comments are necessary (like spelling or grammar issues), and some are merely suggestions and to be treated as such. I'm sure you can figure out the difference.

Also, as far as adding headers/subheaders, as long as they make sense that's fine. It would serve to break up the long entry into digestible bits.

Thanks for your time and effort,
cajunrefugee


Subediting Notes for "The History of New Orleans, Louisiana, USA" (A747074)

Post 5

Robert

I've implemented all of those suggestions, and I've got a few comments about them:

1st para., 1st sentence: I moved the link to "American South" there.

5th para., last sentence: I didn't know which "version" of hockey you meant, so I've changed it to Ice Hockey, having read your comment.

10th para., 2nd sentence: What exactly are "beignets"? I can't find a reference to them in either my dictionary or encyclopedia, so originally I thought they must be a spelling mistake (smiley - blush).

10th para., 3rd sentence: Actually, it's US without abbreviation periods - as per the Subeditor's Style Guidelines.

15th para., 2nd sentence: You are correct when you say that Sinn Fein is the political wing of the IRA, and most UK news-reading people will confirm that (thanks to the NI peace process domination of the UK papers at certain times in the recent past).

Re: headers.
I'll print off the article and have another look through, then put the headers in. I work better when I'm not trying to stop my 'net connection going down every 5minutes smiley - winkeye.

Axe


Subediting Notes for "The History of New Orleans, Louisiana, USA" (A747074)

Post 6

Robert

Also, have a look at the headers and tell me what you think regarding placement and suitablity (are they too 'jokey'?).

Axe


Subediting Notes for "The History of New Orleans, Louisiana, USA" (A747074)

Post 7

cajunrefugee

Howdy Axe,

First, a response to your comments:

10th para., 2nd sentence: Beignets are a type of French donut, typically square and flaky. In New Orleans, the beignet is made slightly different. Although it retains its square shape, it is deep fried in a vat of vegetable oil. When served, it is to be found under a mountain of powdered sugar. Mountain is not too far from the truth either, usually about 6 tablespoons per beignet. To eat the beignet with the sugar, it is advisable not to inhale or exhale. Inhalation brings the wonderful sensation of powdered sugar into your lungs. Although a great way to pick up energy in the long run, it is generally not advisable as you walk away looking like a coke fiend. Exhalation of course sprays the sugary mass all over your dining companion and not advisable. Typically, people spoon the excess sugar into a cup of coffee or cafe au lait or something, which again makes them higher than a kite. I'll have to look and see if there's a thing on beignets in this site.

The headers are fine, more or less. I would definitely change 'Spanish sellout.' Although I'm not too worried about political correctness, it doesn't sound too positive and I don't know if it accurately describes the section. 'Napolean's street dedication' also needs to be changed as that doesn't really sum up the section well. Also, there's a typo, it should be 'Napoleon'. The rest seem fine.

3rd para., last sentence: Change to read as follows: "...whose 18th Century 'blacksmith' shop is now appropriately home to a 21st Century poorly-lit drinking establishment."

10th para., last sentence: "only city" is repeated twice. Delete one.

13th para., 4th sentence: Please change the sentence to read "...joined the forces of the Northern 'aggressor'." 'Aggressor' should be placed in quotes as it is a historical anachronistic reference.

16th para., 3rd sentence: My compliments! Wouldn't change anything. Save maybe "humid air." Maybe "sweltering heat"? I don't know, humid air sounds good. In any case, my sentiment was well captured and I thank you.

16th para., 7th sentence: Double space, make these following sentences a new paragraph. In the first sentence of this new paragraph, add the word "Also" before "at this time."

With these corrections, I can't see why this can't go to the next step. Please let me know what you think.

Also, I would like to thank you for working with me on this, it has made my first experience with this website a pleasure, and made me eager to return. My sincere thanks.

Cheers,
cajunrefugee


Subediting Notes for "The History of New Orleans, Louisiana, USA" (A747074)

Post 8

Robert

10th para., 2nd sentence: smiley - biggrin

I've changed the headers, again tell me what you think.

I've done all of the other corrections. When we've sorted out the I'll submit it.

Thanks for the comments,
Axe


Subediting Notes for "The History of New Orleans, Louisiana, USA" (A747074)

Post 9

cajunrefugee

Howdy Axe,

Looks good, headers much better. I say it's a go.


Subediting Notes for "The History of New Orleans, Louisiana, USA" (A747074)

Post 10

Robert

I've sent it to the Editors. In about a week it should become an Edited Entry.

congratulations smiley - bubbly,
Axe


Subediting Notes for "The History of New Orleans, Louisiana, USA" (A747074)

Post 11

cajunrefugee

Cool, thanks Axe. You the man! Or the woman! I don't mean to assume your gender. Anyway, thanks!

Cheers,
cajunrefugee


Subediting Notes for "The History of New Orleans, Louisiana, USA" (A747074)

Post 12

cajunrefugee

Axe,

Any news on this entry?

Cajunrefugee


Subediting Notes for "The History of New Orleans, Louisiana, USA" (A747074)

Post 13

Robert

it still shows up as Pending. The Editors must be busy ATM. I'll check, wait a moment...

...Yeah, it's on the returned entries list, along with a load of others. I think that there was a request to return entries a few days ago, so the eds are pretty busy.


Subediting Notes for "The History of New Orleans, Louisiana, USA" (A747074)

Post 14

cajunrefugee

Axe,

So is having the entry returned a good thing? In the meantime, I'll just keep looking from time to time.

Cheers,
cajunrefugee


Subediting Notes for "The History of New Orleans, Louisiana, USA" (A747074)

Post 15

Smij - Formerly Jimster

Well, I hope you get to see the front page today - because your entry is going to be star of the show...

Congratulations!

Jimster
Editorial Assistant


Subediting Notes for "The History of New Orleans, Louisiana, USA" (A747074)

Post 16

Robert

smiley - smiley


Subediting Notes for "The History of New Orleans, Louisiana, USA" (A747074)

Post 17

cajunrefugee

Woo hoo! Thanks!


Subediting Notes for "The History of New Orleans, Louisiana, USA" (A747074)

Post 18

Robert

Say 'Hi!' to whoever did that nice picture, Jimster smiley - smiley...


Subediting Notes for "The History of New Orleans, Louisiana, USA" (A747074)

Post 19

Smij - Formerly Jimster

It is gorgeous, isn't it!


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Subediting Notes for "New Orleans, Louisiana - History" (A747074)

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