h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Have you noticed that selotape also screws up into a ball?
Who got there first the selotape company or the clingfilm, or is there something we don't know about this line of merchandise?

the curious ReapeR

Try non-PVC microwave-safe clingfilm. It sticks to nothing, not even itself. If you're ever in a branch of Bella Pasta (shitey restaurant where the sauces come from plastic bags), ask to see the kitchen's clingfilming machine. All branches were issued with these after the 1997 refits. I think the idea was to cut costs by locking the clingfilm safely away.

There is no reason to unwrap sellotape any more as it will in future be used as a mass storage device in computers.
True.

AG

So people are going to fix dodgy envelopes with bits of magnetic disk? Where are you getting your information from? The Weekly World News?

So...... what's the point of clingfilm that doesn't cling to anything?

Christ knows. Maybe it's a cunning marketing ploy to get people past the clingfilm event horizon. I don't know what the point is, I merely end up buying it when the "microwave safe" message is printed in letters too small to see at first glance.

What's next? Non-stick Sellotape? Non-cutting scissors? See-through Tipp-Ex?

Non-bleaching bleach was introduced earlier this year in the form of Ace™. Musicless music has been here since the late 70s. Maybe Ronseal will issue Quick-Diffusing Fresh Air.

It must be true it was on TV here in Germany.
Not on April 1st either.

AG

What is "weakly world news" by the way?

AG

That? It's this american alleged newspaper that they've recently started bringing over here. It features stories concerning the sighting of Elvis, Aliens and Jesus and has adverts for anything too stupid to make it into a proper newspaper. Quite good for a laugh sometimes. It's a bit like the national enquirer with less vehemence but more derangement. With aliens instead of people. Try the news-stand at an airport. Don't know if it's got a website or not.

Does exactly the opposite of what it says on the tin™

I thought that the national enquirer was the purveyor of all truth!
Britain has I believe the Sunday sport which managed to discover hitler on the moon or something.

AG

It was a bus on the moon. Christ knows what they made Hitler do. Maybe he was discovered shagging Elvis by Lord Lucan, who was down the pub with Robert Maxwell and the crew of the Marie Celeste. The Sport is a bucket of lies but at least it doesn't pretend to be the truth. Americans, however, have no sense of irony and believe such things.

Didn't they reveal that Hitler was a woman? I'm sure there was also some unlikely object discovered at the North Pole... not that I read the Sport, of course.... ahem....

At least, unlike with a porn mag, someone caught reading it can't use the excuse that they're "looking at the articles, some of which are quite interesting you know...".

I wrote an article on sellotape, but it got rejected.........

That's about it, really.

M@x

Shame, I have managed 1 accept and 3 rejects so far.
Did you not mention the fact that a roll of it can be used as a mass storage thingy - like a hard disc I mean.
This is true,

AG

Really????? I must try that sometime - how's it done?

You will have to ask the german university for info!
Laser light was mentioned and probably huge sums of money too.

Ag