Smudger Snippets
Created | Updated Nov 10, 2005
Runaways
I used to wonder just where couples went when they ran away together, and how they went about starting up a whole new life. I never gave it much thought in the past when I used to hear stories about things like that. I suppose that was because I was safe and snug in my own little world with my family round about me. When I say family, I mean just my wife and two grown-up daughters, as I never had any family close by after my parents had died. You see, my parents had moved to Scotland after my dad came out of the RAF, so all my aunts and uncles and so on all lived down south. My wife (at that time) had all her family around her, and it was a large one at that. I suppose I got on well with them — mind you, I was not at home all that much, due to working away frpm home all the time. So when I was away working, she had her family nearby who used to pop in and see her. I think that was the reason I felt like an outsider when I did manage to spend some time at home.
I could never put an exact time on when it happened, but we did drift apart over the years as I was working away. I never really noticed it, to tell the truth — in fact, it was not until I met some one else that I realised what had happened. It was just a feeling when I was with my new partner that I had never had since I was a teenager running around with out a care in the world, it was just so different. I went home one weekend as normal and found myself stuck behind a lorry that I could not get past. This would normally have infuriated me until I did pass it in the end, but to my surprise I found myself sitting back and listening to some good music. When I did eventually get home I found myself not really wanting to be there, and tried to tell my wife about it, but she was not that interested in anything I had to say really. This seemed to be the normal routine that had crept in over the past few months on the occasions when I was at home. Then I started to find excuses to get back early, and found myself getting frustrated if I was stuck behind a lorry on my return journey.
The time was going to come when I had to make a choice of where I wanted to be in my life and who I wanted to be with. However, fate played its hand and forced me to make the choice earlier than I had anticipated. You see, I had just returned from working in Russia and was given a job on the site as a welding inspector, covering the last of the pipe work being installed on a module being built for BP. They had told me that this could be a temporary job for me; if they never won any more contracts in the near future, I would be paid off, as I was a sub-contractor. I had been living in a flat since my return, and my new partner moved in with me for the last two weeks just before I was indeed paid off. So it was now when I had to make the decision that would change my life forever. I left my new partner in the flat and drove home to do what I had been putting off for so long. In the end it was not as bad as I had thought it would be — in fact, I found out that all I was really needed to do was to supply the money to keep them all in the style they had become accustomed to over the past few years, and that I would not be missed as much as I thought I would have been.
The divorce was going to take two years to be finalised, and the large house was put on the market while my wife still lived in it with one of our daughters, as the other had already moved out.
In the meantime, we had live in a small caravan while I looked for work, which was very hard to find, seeing as the oil industry had all but closed down while I was away for the few months working in Russia. We then moved into a larger static caravan after a few weeks, as the first winter set in. In fact, we lived in very modest surroundings and struggled for quite some time, before life improved for us at all. We went through hell just to be together, which indeed tested our resolve to carry on as a couple. Life was hard, very hard in fact, and we went through some really emotional times as regards to our children. My partner had three grown-up children who all took exception to us being together. Along with this, we also had the financial side to contend with. I just could not find work of any kind in the area in the oil industry, so I ended up taking a job with the ambulance service. After a couple of years, I had a bad fall while at work one day which meant I could not lift any more. So when I was offered the chance of a transfer down south and work operating a single manned vehicle, we decided to move back where all my new partner's family lived. She also came from a very large family, who were very supportive to us. It took me awhile to adjust to being just a face in the crowd and not being known by anyone, apart from her family of course. For example, back in my hometown I knew everybody, and going to buy a paper meant stopping to speak to everyone, but all the same there was a nice feeling of being able to walk around and be totally anonymous. It was, after all, a complete new beginning for me, a new life, and that is what made it easier for me to handle it.
It has been fourteen years now, we have been married for ten of those. And although we went through hell just to be together, it was well worth it. Her two sons have come to accept things over the years, and are frequent visitors these days. We also get along well with her ex-husband, which is a good thing, especially as we now have grandchildren to consider. The only downside has been the fact that neither my two daughters nor her one have ever come to terms with the situation. They have never spoken to any of us since.
At least I now know what happens when couples run away to be together — well, I am not speaking for all couples, obviously, just our case in particular. I am sure that other folk who have gone through this would have different stories to tell. I would not recommend it by any means; in fact, we were just saying the other day that we not even consider it at our age now, being settled as we are. We all have to make choices as we go through life and I am sure within my heart that I made the right one way back then. Life has not been that kind to us with medical problems and the like, but at least we have got each other to rely on to help us both get through it.
