The Dutch Meet - A Pirates' Perspective.
Created | Updated Feb 24, 2003
A Dutch Meet
How to get there.
How to survive it.
And how to get back again.
How to get there
When you live as close to a national european border as I do it is usually cheaper to go to your neigbouring country and buy your trainticket there. I did - and saved the equivalent of over 30 English pounds! 
You can even order your ticket via internet or e-mail and have the tickets send to you by snail-mail (I tried, but unfortunately I was too late - Deutsche Bundesbahn requires that you order 8 weekdays in advance).
So I had a friend drive me to the Danish ferryport Roedby Faerge from where I took the ferry to Puttgarden. That only cost me 2 pounds because the ferry line has a special offer for so-called 'one day travellers'. Over the years fantasyllions of Danes have sailed from Roedby to Puttgarden and back again just to buy taxfree alcohol 
, tobacco, perfume, candy 
and the like onboard the ferries.
The rest of the trip was quite ordinary, but I was a little surprised to see how many people were on the train from Hamburg to Osnabrück (where I had one of four train-changes). Seems like a lot of business people prefer the train to the plane these days 
In Alphen I was picked up at the railway station by Shazz and Towelmaster who gave me a warm welcome 
1. I have known Shazz
since my debut on h2g2 in January 2000 but it was the first time that we actually met. In fact they were the first h2g2'ers that I have ever met in real life.
It was also the first time I saw their 
. They were too busy fighting with each other to talk to me - but before I left again I actually managed to touch them both without having them flee to security under the couch 
During my stay I met a lot of other h2g2'ers. But if you want to know their names you will have to look elsewhere: 'None mentioned is none forgotten' as we say in Denmark
You will understand however that I mention Kheldar in particular, as I have known him for almost as long as I have known Shazz (and not only on h2g2).
And then there is Lighthousegirl, of course, whose Lighthouse Bar has kept Windforce Twelve Abaft The Beam on the top 5 of busiest conversations for weeks and weeks 
I also have to mention The Towers, of course: Abi, Peta and Mark turned out to be just as friendly and obliging as I had expected. Allow me to explain by rephrasing a quote from the book:
After seeing the old man in the hut Zaphod and Trillian sneaked out.
Outside he said to her:
'I think h2g2 is in pretty good hands, yeah?'
'Very good.'
said Trillian. They walked off into the rain.
How to survive it
Surviving a dutch meet is easy as long as you can drink Murphy's 
and Heinekens 
at Het Kasteel and Shazz makes sure you get enough Uitsmijters.
'And what is an uitsmijter?'
I hear you ask. Well, basically it is ham and eggs on buttered toast and cheese on top. The name (that roughly translated means 'bouncer"') indicates that this is the last you will be served before your hosts wants you to leave. Shazz gave me the first uitsmijter after only a couple of hours - but I
stayed anyway.
Het Kasteel is a great place you can read about here. It is located in Alphen aan den
Rijn, which you can read about Here
The last day of my stay we ordered pizza from a local take away.
'Which one would you like?'
I was asked. Well I looked at number 1 in the menu. But
that of course was just the basic 'Margarita' with only cheese and tomato and so I quickly decided to jump to the next column to look for something with a little more goodies. I quickly found a pizza with cheese, tomato, ham, onions, mushrooms and a few other things as well as - spanish peppers! There was also a warning: 'Very hot!'.
It sounded just right and I decided this was what I wanted.
'Okay, which number is it?'
I heard Towelmaster ask. I looked again. It was of course - 42!
Coincidence? Maybe not - but I swear by my mothers grave that I had not seen that number before he asked2.
And how to get back again
Getting home was almost nightmarish. Getting through The Netherlands and Germany was no problem, but when I tried to phone my friend to tell him when and where to pick me up my phone did not work. I had to attend a general assembly in my union as soon as I got back but found myself stranded in a totally empty ferryport. To cut a long story short: After running around for half an hour to find some help suddenly my friend called *me* and told me to take a taxi - the costs would be taken care of...
After the general assembly3, we had a superb 3 course dinner with wine, cognac , 
and cigars -
and the next morning -Tuesday - I was happy that I still had one week left of my holiday!
In short: I had a great time at the Dutch Meet and in future I will try to attend all the meets that I possibly can. I highly recommend that you do the same! 
To see Photographs go to Dutch Meet 2001
you ask me, anyway.3Which was quite boring, of course
