h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Thankyou for confirming what I have been telling my Daughter every christmas since she was old enough to worry about coming across a strange man in the hall on Christmas eve, should she need the bathroom ( we live in a bungalow, hence hall and not landing). It is indeed correct that he teleports and I can now add the jingle bells to my explanation.

Glad to have been of assistance...

You mean your teaching your child about the existance of alien technology rather than the concept of love!


*pokes Lucinda in the ribs*

Z. (exstacilly happy about having this entry in edited so well at last and also for getting the thumbs up on my fairtrade entry!)

Congratulations on getting Santa in the Edited Guide. But I see we're *still* arguing over our favorite Santa theories...

(signed) Administrator-General 42, who's still holding out for Multi-Actual Santa.

I have a vague recollection that some scientists, either the aforementioned or other, worked out how much time santa could spend delivering pressies to each home. They took into account how many children would celebrate Xmas and the time in which there is deliver presents and worked out that santa had only a few seconds to visit each house. That would solve much of the problem of wakeful children bumping into him as the shorter the visit the lower the probabilty of encountering the big red guy.

The most accurate research undertaken to date on this subject shows that Santa has just over two ten-thousandths of a second to make each delivery. It's less if he stops for sherry and mince pies.

Is that to visit every child or just those who celebrate Xmas?

That's to visit every child (i.e. people under 18 years of age according to UNICEF) irrespective of faith: "It is Christmas, after all."

I think this assumption is a valid one based on Santa's pagan roots, although the study is somewhat compromised by taking no account of the who's naughty and nice factor.

I don't know if Muslims, Jews, Hindus, Sikhs, etc, etc, etc, would be at all happy to find a large red Christian or pagan man in their house on a day of the year that has no significance to them.

The naughty children clause would probably explain why Father Christmas (I'm sorry, I just can't continue calling him santa) doesn't appear to visit that many children anymore, society is obviously too naughty now. Mmm, philosophical musing: if by some or love or miracle, society became good and wholesome, would Father Christmas' seasonal activities become more prevalent?

Ack! I forgot about lumps of coal for bad kids. I withdraw my reservation with regard to time per delivery, although I feel it does have some bearing on the estimated total load of Santa's sleigh, which the study calculates to be just under two metric megatons.