h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

(if everyone agrees)
My fiancee and I have been freinds and lovers for over 25 years. In the last year or so we invited a friend of ours to join us for sex. Both of us guys are bi, its not a problem for her so we all have a good time. But the egos definitly must be left at the door. She is very jeleous, and she knows it too! Another woman would be a problem for her.

It's good for me. I'm not in the business of telling other people how to structure their relationships, but I've found that just mentioning that there are options other than monogamy can be really liberating for some people. I was quite happily astonished to learn that there was a word for the way I always thought about relationships.

In my experience it's important not to push polyamory on a partner who is isn't comfortable with it. My primary partner grew into polyamory after quite a trial monogamous period. I'm fairly certain that if we'd been poly from the start we wouldn't still be together, just as I'm pretty sure that if we hadn't become poly we wouldn't be together now either. It was just the right thing for both of us when we decided to do it.

You are absolutely right about both partnes having to be willing. The only problem I have been having is my fiancee is becoming less and less stable the closer our wedding gets. It wasnt too bad, but this last weekend was not good. She finally took some meds to calm down, but then she slept half of the day!
But she is willing to have another man, but is dead set against another woman. I understand she is very possessive, but come on!! The times when we have had the opportunity for a =nother woman, she has become almost hostile. Oh well, I guess, live and let live!!

Personally, I've had some mixed experiences with being poly... some time ago (around two years), my girlfriend and I brought another girl into the relationship. We dated her for about a year, until she broke up with both of us, but the relationship was smoldering and begging for last rites for months before it died, and it caused some hurt feelings and stressed relations between us and her, where before she'd been a close friend to both of us.
And recently, my girlfriend asked if I was all right if she started dating a certain other girl... I said it was fine, only to experience some jealousy problems as the weeks went by. Most of it I've traced to an irrational fear of being replaced, even though I know, rationally, that my girlfriend is still in the bubbly new relationship stage. But we talked about it, and now we try to at least talk every day (we rarely get to see each other more than once a week), and things seem to be working better.
So... Polyamory's good if you're honest about it, and willing to work at it. She's happy, and, corny as it sounds, that does make me happy, in important ways.
But lord, it's a lot of work sometimes. Come to think of it, so's a monogamous relationship.

"She's happy, and, corny as it sounds, that does make me happy, in important ways."

I think that is the key to polyamory and to love in general!

Amen.
(Or, alternately, 'Hell yeah!' Pick the affirmation that suits you best.)

I pick hell yeah! It better suits my current state of mind.