h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

IF MEDIUMS AND BELIEVERS (Kilroy 22/5/02)WOULD LIKE US SCEPTICS TO BELIEVE THEM, THEN WHY AT LEAST DON'T THEY ASK PEOPLE ON THE OTHER SIDE WHAT THE WEATHER IS LIKE WHERE THEY ARE OR THE CONDITIONS THEY LIVE UNDER IN THE SPIRIT WORLD, IN FACT THE REAL SEARCHING QUESTIONS THAT WE SCEPTICS WOULD LIKE ANSWERS TO. SURELY THEY MUST NEED MORE CONVINCING EVIDENCE OF AN AFTERLIFE THAN THE FLIMSY UNORIGINAL STUFF MEDIUMS WOULD HAVE US BELIEVE.

You again. Stop shouting.

And what's this got to do with Kilroy anyway?

What do you mean by flimsy and unoriginal? When people contact mediums they are looking for upliftment and generally have an open mind about things. Who cares what the weather is like tomorrow as long as we are all fit and well and able bodied and able to get around without being a burdon on someone else.

YOU TALK ABOUT MEDIUMS AND BELIEVERS. WHO HAS THE ABILITY TO BE A MEDIUM? ANYONE WHO IS INTRESTED IN SPIRITUAL WORK.SOME PEOPLE ARE BORN WITH THE GIFT OF CLAIRVOYANCE OTHERS HAVE TO WORK AT IT. IT'S TERMED AS "SITTING IN CIRCLE," TO DEVELOP SPIRIT AWARENESS. THIS WAY YOU CAN FIND OUT FOR YOURSELF ABOUT REALLY IMPORTANT QUESTIONS LIKE HOW'S THE WEATHER.
HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED WHAT LIFE WAS ABOUT, WHY WE ARE HERE. WITH THE RIGHT DIRECTION AND GUIDENCE YOU'LL BE ABLE TO GIVE FLIMSY AND UNORIGINAL EVIDENCE YOURSELF. GO ON, FIND OUT FOR YOUR SELF YOU'LL BE AMAZED.

Must you shout? Some people are trying to read here.

How *did* this goofy conversation end up attached to this entry? Can't someone find an entry about mediums where people who don't know netiquette can scream all they want about clairvoyance and ouija boards and whatever?

Scenario:
The medium walked into the old abandoned cottage late that starless night, followed closely by the others. Already she could feel the tendrils of ectoplasm reaching out, touching and tasting her spirit. The other travellers that had been scared from the inn by the mysterious howling cowered close around her as they entered the front door into a sitting room. The medium gazed around her at the several dusty old chairs, at the table set for tea, at the chalkboard against one wall...

"Wait!" she cried suddenly. She pointed, her hand trembling. "A spirit! A spirit just walked through that wall into this room!"

Suddenly a piece of chalk levitated from the ground in front of the chalkboard, and began scratching out grim little white lines: first a long line straight down, then a diagonal slash, then another the other way...

"K!" shouted Roger in recognition. "I," he whispered as the next letter appeared. "L..." He was almost breathless now.

There was a thump as the medium fainted dead away, upsetting the table and old tea things. Dorothy and Marian rushed to fan her back to consciousness--Charles hustled off through a doorway to try and find her a glass of water.

"Is she alright?" Roger asked Dorothy.

"I think so," she answered. "I don't think she hit her head too hard."

A second later the scratching stopped, the chalk dropped back to the floor, and the lights flickered and died. Roger heard Marian shriek, then felt desperate arms grab him and clutch at him and a soft, warm face bury itself in his chest.

Charles footsteps thumped the carpet and a board creeked as he returned to the room. "What went on in here? What did the spirit write?" Fire suddenly flared out of the gloom as he struck a match. He found the chalkboard and bent close to it, the dull flame held close to the slate.

"Well? What does it say, old man?" asked Roger as Marian's grip started to lighten.

Charles eyes widened as he read the message, then his lips parted to form a silent "ah." He turned slowly away from the chalkboard and faced the others. He blinked repeatedly.

"Come on, tell us! What does the spirit say?" repeated Roger.

Charles only stared blankly ahead for a moment more. Then he held the match back up to the chalkboard, and with his other hand angled the slate away from the wall until the message became visible to the others--the other three gasped at what they read.

There, in large block script, the piece of chalk had scratched out a three word message:

"KILROY WAS HERE!"

At last this thread makes sense!