h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

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I bet you're from Cumbria really, aren't you, yeaaahh?

No sir, i'm from south london sir.

How far north is 'north' exactly? Are we just talking England here, or the Highlands, Rekjavik, polar bear country onwards?

North of Watford Gap I would imagine

Having, recently moved south from the mighty Birmingham, I have been led to ponder the question 'How far north does the north start?' The answer to this question came to me whilst pondering the work of Albert Einstein, North is an abstract measure of how friendly the people arround you are. For example Londoners will not even notice you when you are pressed up to them on a cramped bus or train, that is to say not very north at all. People in Yorkshire however will smile and greet you even if you are a total stranger, placing Yorkshire very north. You see the abstract nature of 'north' if you visit a place such as Bristol, you would find the people very friendly and welcoming - clearly putting Bristol in the north!

Where does this place Wales? Or are we just WEST of England?

I live in Bristol and i would appreciate you not regarding us as being part of the north thank you very much.

Well, i'm in Penzance, and down here Plymothians are northerners!

My mate comes from Orkney we're all southerners to him!

Ya don't need to potty mouth 'em. Why don'ja jus' call 'em Yankees an' be done with it?
I mean if ya really wanted to insult 'em. Y'all wouldn't want to call nobody no "Yank" in Birmingham (AL), unless you was too cheap to see a dentist about a tooth that was givin' y'all grief. Heck, it's worse 'n usin' the "N" word (if ya know what I mean).