Agony Aunt
Created | Updated Feb 7, 2004
After reading the fora, it's obvious we have problems. But these are not the normal sort of problems for the normal sort of Agony Aunt. So we didn't get a normal Agony Aunt.
Dear Agony Aunt,
I have this sister (we'll call her Goofymouse... just like we always
have ) out in Color--erm.. some state which shall remain nameless.
She's having this problem with a particular kitty (hmm.. let's call
the kitty.. uhm.. erm.. Oh! Let's call the kitty Kitty). You see,
Kitty keeps popping over to Goofy's for tea, and always asks if
there are any tender, tasty mice around. Goofy is a most hospitable
hostess, and doesn't want to offend her.. erm.. friend. How shall
she deal with this situation?
Sign me, Worried about funeral bills.
Dear Worried,
It sounds to me like you have a mouse that is in serious need of
psychiatric help! I mean, what self respecting mouse would invite a
cat to tea??? She has got to understand that 'Cats' and 'Mice' do
not mix; the only thing that a 'Cat' wants a 'Mouse' for is topping on their crackers. Unless 'Goofy' wants to find herself decorating a
Ritz biscuit, she needs to wake up and smell the coffee. If 'Goofy'
insists on carrying on this tete-a-tete, I suggest that you purchase
some good life insurance on 'Goofy' so that you can at least profit
from her mental state. What you need to remember is that you can
lead a mouse to cheese but you can't make it nibble.
Might I suggest a friend of mine who just so happens to work
graveyard shift as an insurance salesman, Garibaldi Inc. 'Insure
your kin...and rake it in'.
Agony Aunt
If you have an unusual problem that you would like our unusual Agony Aunt to help you with, them please mail Agony Aunt direct!
