h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

how can a girl make herself orgasm? or a male make a girl orgasm?

Well, opti, it's complicated. Different women are different. Some women need a very particular sort of stimulation, which they must experiment to discover. Others orgasm very easily from a variety of stimuli.

It's such a complicated question, and I'm such a busy person, that I've forwarded your question to a place where many more people will see it and respond. Hopefully, somebody will come along to discuss it soon.

Ask h2g2, a good place to ask a broad question, is at:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/brunel/askh2g2

would that I could help, but my mother is a member of this site.

So what's up with you're title then, apparition?

OK..joking aside - I'm one of those obnoxious girls who is next to impossible to get off. I must have control issues or something because I have to do it myself. So here's my advice for the hard-of-climaxing:

1. Learn how to do it sooooloooo first. It probably helps to be alone, and to have some sort of 'inspiration.' Rent/download 'The Dinner Party' or something. It depends on what gets you going - and don't be freaked out by what turns you on!! Just because DP looks intriguing doesn't mean you have to do it in real life at some point. I personally like rape anime and girls with gorgeous t*tties, so go figure. Ok, so say you have this inspiration. Find a couch or a bed within view of the TV/computer. Get caught up in images that turn you on. When you can catch hold of one, it's time to address your clitoris. It generally helps a great deal to have something to move against..anything from a stuffed animal to a balled up sock (shut up!), perhaps with a pillow underneath. Lay on your tummy and move against said item in a rhythm and manner that suits you. If you're having a hard time I *seriously* recommend going to say adamandeve.com and ordering a venus butterfly or something. All it is is a little device that buzzes and unlike a dildo shaped thing, will fit nicely where it's supposed to go. Ignore the leg straps - useless if you ask me. Use this new little friend to help you along. The trick is to stay physically and mentally stimulated at the same time and long enough that you can get off. When you feel an odd sort of pulsating throbbing in your girlie region and feel 'finished', you'll know you've completed your mission.

2. OK - now the tricky part. Getting off during sex. If you are like me this can only happen when all of the above things can happen. And that means sex must occur in a position that allows for A. me to control my own stimulation and B. me being able to access means of said stimulation, which invariably means that I pile a bunch of pillows on the bed, situate Princess Buzz Buzz, and then bend over it on my tummy. Lovely lover then penetrates from behind. Other options could include sitting on lover's lap with something shoved between your tummy and his, standing up while utilizing some piece of furniture of hip-height...again, the key is control and stimulation.

This was rather generalized, though specific to a hard-to-get-off kinda girl, so I hope it helps.

Now off to take a shower...

Oh, and should the above post get modded, I had the foresight to save the text, so email me at nyssabird(at)jeremiad(dot)org if you like.

Dont worry Nyssa youre not the only one whos obnoxious n hard to get off! no ones ever managed it but me..not for the want of trying either! its not been uncommon for me to lose patience,tell them to sod off n finish the job myself!

Youve just got to relax opti n dont worry about it too much..

Alternatively you might not be quite as hard to get off as these damn awkward, but lovely, ladies, and a five minute furtle between the legs might do it

True..

I hope youre one of the easily pleased Opt!

er how do I put this I try and I fail ..... also you read various magazines on such issues but they expect you to know as if by magic how to do these things so I have plucked up the courage to ask here ...

err try a bit harder? If a tightly wound ,highly strung generally akward bint like me can manage im sure you can!

just expriment ..and relax!

Relaxing is certainly a key point. As is being sure you won't be disturbed (unless that's your thing ), otherwise you'll be too nervous.

ok I am more easy to worry than to relax

also think that the idea of turning oneself on is a tad disgusting your loving partner should turn you on instead

Its not digusting! its normal and healthy .. isnt it?
Ive been kidding myself a long time if its not!

Being 'disturbed' can be fun

Ahh, well if you think the idea is dirty and disgusting, that's probably why you can't do it- physiological barrier and all that.

opti, perhaps you should try thinking of your partner while attempting to reach an orgasm. Remember moments shared in the past that turned you on, that drew you in or kept you interested. Think of the nice moments that might be in your future. Whatever. Then it's them turning you on, just not directly. Plus you may discover a good fantasy to share. :-) I do think that it's important to take control over your own sexual response. If your partner can give you an orgasm and you can't, it might make you feel more dependent on them than is really healthy. On a side note, this topic is also being discussed here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/brunel/F52672?thread=313207

so this psychological barrier needs to be broken down right? and how might that be done? so many questions


I have another thing I'd like to pose ... in today's society a lot of people sleep with a lot of people so the risks of catching something is high right? so what happens when we come to settle down? do we go out of our way to get tests done etc before having children with the one we marry or not marry them because they have some disease? ... just thought this would be a good point to raise and talk about too

Err, well I'm no expert in that sort of field, but I'd say talking about it (like you're doing ) is probably a good start- subjects tend to become/feel less taboo just by discussing them. Not fixating on orgasming is probably also a good idea- just get to know and explore your body- once you become comfortable with your body and what it does and how it reacts will help.

As for the other- stay safe while you're having fun, so you've got less to worry about in terms of catching something nasty is a good start.

If you get to get a point where youre serious enough wih someone to stop using contraception id get tested first yes..just to be 100% you can be sure of your history..but not theirs.