Eek-onomics
Created | Updated Nov 30, 2008
There's a Bear Out There...
Over the last few weeks, the Net Worth of this planet has mysteriously reduced by some 20 percent.
How could such a thing be allowed to happen? Are we really consuming the Resources of the Earth at such a rate?
Well, no, not quite. The current rate of collapse of the world's stock markets suggests an effective rate of depreciation for Our Global Home almost as rapid as that of your computer. Don't worry; things are not altogether that bad. The planet should probably be written off over about thirty years, which is normal accounting practice for any similar temporary business premises. And for those of you too young to understand the concept of normal accounting practice...well, don't worry about that either.
The Dow Jones doesn't measure the rate at which the Earth is being wasted, since this would be a very un-American thing to do. Instead, it measures the rate at which a bunch of fresh-out-of-college guys work out that they've over-valued it.
How can the Earth ever be over-valued, one might reasonably wonder? When it comes to Global Capitalism, it's perversely possible to do just that. (That one's the most difficult idea in this whole piece. Just take it on trust, OK?)
This World Of Ours hangs together by the Power of Faith. No, not religious Faith. Not as such. The Creed of this Faith runs thus : The Interest Accrued Shall Add Up to More Than the Credit Given.
And it works, kind of, but for one reason only : people are prepared to pay over the odds in future for the capital they need right now.
There is a rather alarming consequence of this. If a goodly proportion of us were suddenly prepared to wait for things, then all the lights would go out. And, if we were to further compound this sin by only buying what we actually need, Mammon Only Knows what might happen.
Now, listen up. You have to take the next bit very seriously, because it's a matter of survival. You have personal responsibilities in all of this :
You must never aspire to pay only the true worth of what you need...
Why? Well, you want to see your kids grow up in a Free World, don't you? With sunshine and flowers and Starbucks and motor cars and the right to bear arms and invisible intimate protection from incoming nuclear missiles? They couldn't have those things if Global Capitalism were to fail.
(OK, on a technicality they'd still have the sunshine, but they wouldn't have the scientifically-proven protection from its harmful rays. The flowers? Forget it. Generic references to flora, such as this one, will henceforth attract a levy from a consortium of multinationals who somehow own the intellectual property).
The anarchists aren't those weird guys with wispy beards and bulging eyes who throw traffic-cones at MacDonald's. The anarchists are the investors who suddenly doubt the system that craves belief.
The World will End if we lose your confidence. Do not dare to doubt it.
See the guy at the Head of the Parade, and the wonderful clothes he's wearing? You thought for a moment that he was naked? You gullible fool - there's nobody there at all...
