The Prez Elections: Marv and Gw7en

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Archbishop Marv and the Search for the Holy Office

Not long ago, in the peaceful, idyllic city of Salt Lake, Archbishop Marv of the Church of the True Brownie was confronted on the shores of the Great Salt Lake by a somewhat decrepit hand holding what appeared to be a silver teleprompter. As he bent down to take it, a scratchy voice... caused no doubt from constantly swallowing salt water... told him;

This is the teleprompter, Gus. I give him to you to aid in your search for the Holy Office, Virtual President of h2g2. Surround yourself with friends bold and true and pursue the Holy Office. Gus will know what is right and what is wrong and will steer you.

And the hand slowly sank back into the briny depths.

Marv picked Gus up from the ground and grunted, for a teleprompter is not a small thing. He carried it swiftly to his steed... a Jeep truck... and began his quest. He first called Gw7en, the voice of Chaos, figuring that Chaos seemed an oddly appropriate addition to a political campaign. She joined at once and decided to seek the Slightly-Less-Holy-But-Still-Pretty-Cool Office of Virtual Vice Prez. Together, they set about winning over voters in the classic and approved manner of mud-slinging. When they realized that they did not yet have opponents, they put the mud-slinging to one side and decided to concentrate on bribery.

Gus, approving of the bribery approach offered several suggestions:

  • 'Take Who Wants To Be A Millionaire off the air... or at least limit it to less than 4 nights a week.'

  • 'Booze. Booze and loud music.'

And last but not least:

  • How 'bout lots of contact with members of the opposite sex?'

Instead, Marv and Gw7en decided to concentrate on something simpler:

What if we just promise to continue the good things that have happened in the past, change the things folks don't like and ignore the rest. Seems to work for everyone in America.

And so the tone of the campaign was set.

And so, the good citizens of h2g2 have a choice. They can help Marv, Gw7en and Gus further their Search or they can decide instead to not get sotting drunk at the spectacular victory party being planned. It's rather up to them now.


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