Campaign Page
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
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<title>Archbishop Marv and the Search for the Holy Office</title>
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<div class=Section1>
<h1><span style='color:fuchsia'>Archbishop Marv and the Search for the Holy
Office<o:p></o:p></span></h1>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:20.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;
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<p class=MsoBodyText><span style='color:fuchsia'>Not long ago, in the peaceful,
idyllic city of Salt Lake, Archbishop Marv of the Church of the True Brownie
was confronted on the shores of the Great Salt Lake by a somewhat decrepit hand
holding what appeared to be a silver teleprompter.<span style="mso-spacerun:
yes"> </span>As he bent down to take it, a scratchy voice – caused no doubt
from constantly swallowing salt water – told him,<span style="mso-spacerun:
yes"> </span>“This is the teleprompter, Gus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</span>I give him to you to aid in your search for the Holy Office, Virtual President
of H2G2.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Surround yourself with friends
bold and true and pursue the Holy Office.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</span>Gus will know what is right and what is wrong and will steer you.”<span
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>And the hand slowly sank back into the briny
depths.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:16.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;
color:fuchsia'><![if !supportEmptyParas]> <![endif]><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:16.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;
color:fuchsia'>Marv picked Gus up from the ground and grunted – for a
teleprompter is not a small thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He
carried it swiftly to his steed – a Jeep truck – and began his quest.<span
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He first called Gw7en, the voice of Chaos,
figuring that Chaos seemed an oddly appropriate addition to a political
campaign.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>She joined at once and
decided to seek the Slightly-Less-Holy-But-Still-Pretty-Cool Office of Virtual
Vice Prez.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Together, they set about
winning over voters in the classic and approved manner of mud-slinging.<span
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>When they realized that they did not yet
have opponents, they put the mud-slinging to one side and decided to
concentrate on bribery.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:16.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;
color:fuchsia'><![if !supportEmptyParas]> <![endif]><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:16.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;
color:fuchsia'>Gus, approving of the bribery approach offered several
suggestions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>“Take Who Wants To Be A
Millionaire off the air – or at least limit it to less than 4 nights a
week.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>“Booze.<span
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Booze and loud music.”<span
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>And last but not least, “How ‘bout lots of
contact with members of the opposite sex?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</span>Instead, Marv and Gw7en decided to concentrate on something
simpler.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>“What if we just promise to
continue the good things that have happened in the past, change the things
folks don’t like and ignore the rest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</span>Seems to work for everyone in America.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</span>And so the tone of the campaign was set.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:16.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;
color:fuchsia'><![if !supportEmptyParas]> <![endif]><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:16.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;
color:fuchsia'>And so, the good citizens of H2G2 have a choice.<span
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>They can help Marv, Gw7en and Gus further
their Search or they can decide instead to not get sotting drunk at the
spectacular victory party being planned.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</span>It’s rather up to them now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:16.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;
color:fuchsia'><![if !supportEmptyParas]> <![endif]><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<form>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:16.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;
color:fuchsia'><INPUT TYPE="RADIO">Vote for Marv, Gw7en and Gus <INPUT TYPE="RADIO">Miss
the party of the decade<o:p></o:p></span></p>
</form>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='color:fuchsia'><![if !supportEmptyParas]> <![endif]><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoBodyText><span style='color:fuchsia'>As you can see, a simple
choice.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:16.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;
color:fuchsia'><![if !supportEmptyParas]> <![endif]><o:p></o:p></span></p>
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color:fuchsia'><![if !supportEmptyParas]> <![endif]><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<h2><span style='color:fuchsia'>Vote Marv, Gw7en and Gus in 2000<o:p></o:p></span></h2>
<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center'><span
style='font-size:20.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;color:fuchsia'><![if !supportEmptyParas]> <![endif]><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center'><span
style='font-size:20.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;color:fuchsia'>For the Party!<o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
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<title>Archbishop Marv and the Search for the Holy Office</title>
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<div class=Section1>
<h1><span style='color:fuchsia'>Archbishop Marv and the Search for the Holy
Office<o:p></o:p></span></h1>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:20.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;
color:fuchsia'><![if !supportEmptyParas]> <![endif]><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:16.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;
color:fuchsia'><![if !supportEmptyParas]> <![endif]><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoBodyText><span style='color:fuchsia'>Not long ago, in the peaceful,
idyllic city of Salt Lake, Archbishop Marv of the Church of the True Brownie
was confronted on the shores of the Great Salt Lake by a somewhat decrepit hand
holding what appeared to be a silver teleprompter.<span style="mso-spacerun:
yes"> </span>As he bent down to take it, a scratchy voice – caused no doubt
from constantly swallowing salt water – told him,<span style="mso-spacerun:
yes"> </span>“This is the teleprompter, Gus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</span>I give him to you to aid in your search for the Holy Office, Virtual President
of H2G2.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Surround yourself with friends
bold and true and pursue the Holy Office.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</span>Gus will know what is right and what is wrong and will steer you.”<span
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>And the hand slowly sank back into the briny
depths.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:16.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;
color:fuchsia'><![if !supportEmptyParas]> <![endif]><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:16.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;
color:fuchsia'>Marv picked Gus up from the ground and grunted – for a
teleprompter is not a small thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He
carried it swiftly to his steed – a Jeep truck – and began his quest.<span
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He first called Gw7en, the voice of Chaos,
figuring that Chaos seemed an oddly appropriate addition to a political
campaign.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>She joined at once and
decided to seek the Slightly-Less-Holy-But-Still-Pretty-Cool Office of Virtual
Vice Prez.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Together, they set about
winning over voters in the classic and approved manner of mud-slinging.<span
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>When they realized that they did not yet
have opponents, they put the mud-slinging to one side and decided to
concentrate on bribery.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:16.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;
color:fuchsia'><![if !supportEmptyParas]> <![endif]><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:16.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;
color:fuchsia'>Gus, approving of the bribery approach offered several
suggestions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>“Take Who Wants To Be A
Millionaire off the air – or at least limit it to less than 4 nights a
week.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>“Booze.<span
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Booze and loud music.”<span
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>And last but not least, “How ‘bout lots of
contact with members of the opposite sex?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</span>Instead, Marv and Gw7en decided to concentrate on something
simpler.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>“What if we just promise to
continue the good things that have happened in the past, change the things
folks don’t like and ignore the rest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</span>Seems to work for everyone in America.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</span>And so the tone of the campaign was set.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:16.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;
color:fuchsia'><![if !supportEmptyParas]> <![endif]><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:16.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;
color:fuchsia'>And so, the good citizens of H2G2 have a choice.<span
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>They can help Marv, Gw7en and Gus further
their Search or they can decide instead to not get sotting drunk at the
spectacular victory party being planned.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">
</span>It’s rather up to them now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:16.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;
color:fuchsia'><![if !supportEmptyParas]> <![endif]><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<form>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:16.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;
color:fuchsia'><INPUT TYPE="RADIO">Vote for Marv, Gw7en and Gus <INPUT TYPE="RADIO">Miss
the party of the decade<o:p></o:p></span></p>
</form>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='color:fuchsia'><![if !supportEmptyParas]> <![endif]><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoBodyText><span style='color:fuchsia'>As you can see, a simple
choice.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:16.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;
color:fuchsia'><![if !supportEmptyParas]> <![endif]><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:16.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;
color:fuchsia'><![if !supportEmptyParas]> <![endif]><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<h2><span style='color:fuchsia'>Vote Marv, Gw7en and Gus in 2000<o:p></o:p></span></h2>
<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center'><span
style='font-size:20.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;color:fuchsia'><![if !supportEmptyParas]> <![endif]><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center'><span
style='font-size:20.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;color:fuchsia'>For the Party!<o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
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